Meant to Be My Balance

Chapter 59

Aleksander's POV

It was long after Alina has fallen asleep, white hair tangled against the pillow, sheets pulled up to her waist, that I got the message.

The guard outside my door opened it quietly, knowing the consequences for disturbing my wife's rest.

"Malyen Oretsev requests your presence, moi tsar."

I stood, my eyes trailing over Alina's peaceful figure one more time. Quietly, I told the guard, "Three guards inside, two outside. If anything happens to her, all five of you die beside your families."

The tracker was waiting for me outside, the edge of his shirt wrinkled, a dark bruise against his jaw. The boy truly didn't know how to take care of himself. Not even basic grooming, judging by the smell.

Wordlessly, I guided him to my office. The door shut behind us, plunging us into silence.

"I'm ready to die," he said. I raised an eyebrow. "I'd do it myself, but Alina might find out. I need to disappear, just... gone from her life. Trust me the last place I want to be is here, but you're the only one that would do this for me."

I stilled, eyeing the otkazat'sya. "Your death is something I've waited a long time for, but I'd be a fool not to ask: Why now?"

"I'm hurting Alina, right?" He was stiff, unyielding. To some extent, I understood him. I would do anything to prevent Alina from even the smallest discomfort.

"Every breath you take will intensify the pain she has, her lack of an amplifier," I confirmed, already taking a step closer, summoning a sharp blade of shadows.

"Then end it. End her pain. End my life."

And I was ready. Every bit of my black heart wanted to thrust this blade into the trackers chest, to end his life once and for all. What would be the alternative? Letting him live out his useless otkazat'sya life, causing pain to my Alina all the while. He wanted me to do this. I would make it quick.

But I stopped before my blade pierced his skin. "Your death will cause her pain a thousand times the missing amplifier." I backed away. Reluctantly. Angrily. "Run far from Os Alta. From Ravka. And do not, under any condition, have children, or I will kill them myself before Alina can even wonder about your sorry life in Novyi Zem."

"You—"

"And don't even think about taking your own life." My eyes flashed. "I have very little self-control when it comes to disobedience."

He staggered backward, shaking his head. "You can't—you can't stop me."

"Do not test me, tracker. I will not let Alina waste her tears over your death." I turned, pausing at the door. "When I return to Ravka with my happy, unburdened wife, I expect you to be gone."

***

Sunlight filled the room, parting through the curtains, a warmth settling on my skin. I blinked quickly once I realized it was long past sunrise. Maybe nine or ten in the morning? I shot straight up in bed, glancing to the side where Aleksander was lying, his eyes fully on me.

"It's late. We're late." My mind raced, wondering how long we would have to get to the carriages on time and what our guards and maids and assistants had been doing rather than waking us up.

"Alina," he mumbled, my name honey on his lips. "If I tell the staff my wife is going to rest until noon, they will wait."

"But our plan—" My head hurt from being jarred out of my sleep so quickly, and I realized the warm light had intensified with my panic. Aleksander's shadows quickly swirled around, dampening it, filling the room with a soft darkness.