Meant to Be My Balance

Chapter 31

"Where have you been?" Ivan's eyes pierced into mine, but I brushed him off.

"I'm not that late." I could practically feel Ivan's fury. "So how are we going to do this?"

Before Ivan could respond, another Heartrender with a mess of brown hair and olive skin entered. "Sol koroleva," he greeted respectfully. "Emilie would have been here, but she has not been feeling well. I am Andrei. It is a pleasure to meet you."

I nodded at him. "Thank you, Andrei."

"Please, sit," he said, gesturing to the table. I took my seat and watched as Ivan watched from the shadows, his eyes narrowed.

"Ivan would like to get into the hard work immediately." Andrei smiled at Ivan, but I could sense the mockery in his eyes. "But the work of the Corporalki involves patience and discipline. Please, take my hands."

I put my palms in Andrei's, and he adjusted my fingers so that I could feel his pulse beating beneath my fingers.

"Follow my heartbeat. Focus on it."

I nodded, closing my eyes. Focus was familiar—it was how I had learned to summon. Whatever power kept Aleksander and me separate from everyone else thrummed to the surface, showing me the thin thread that tied me to my heart. I couldn't manipulate it—I was no Heartrender—but that awareness was good enough.

"Slow down your heart."

I nodded, taking deep breaths to relax, but all of a sudden, I felt my chest grow tight. My eyes snapped open, and I stared into Andrei's green eyes.

"Fight me, slow it down," he urged. I felt powerless over my own body, like a hand had wrapped around my heart and squeezed. I tried to reach for that tether, wrapped myself around it, and for a second it worked. My heartbeat felt slower, and I was in control. But it was only for a second. In the next moment, my heart was racing, and the tether was gone.

"I'm sorry I—"

But Andrei was smiling. "You did very well. It's no easy task to manipulate our natural instincts."

"Can we try again?"

He laughed, the sound warm. "You're an eager learner."

I shrugged. "The King really knows how to force the laziness out of me."

Andrei squeezed my hands. "Take a few moments, drink some water. I don't want the King on my head when his queen faints from overexertion."

I rolled my eyes, but took the break. I tried to ignore Ivan, even as he walked over, speaking to Andrei in a low voice. I only caught a few words.

"...she's...don't...so friendly...the King..."

"You worry too much, Ivan." Andrei grinned—he sure smiled a lot—and clapped the Heartrender on the back. "Come on, Alina, let's try again. But stand here."

He took a dagger from his belt and dropped it onto the floor a foot away from me.

"Grab the dagger."

"Just... grab it?"

He nodded, and I reached out for it, when my legs seemed to crumple underneath me. I felt that familiar grip on my heart, forcing me down onto the ground. I tried reaching out, but the weight went to my arm, and it was a test of brute force. I lost.

"Stop fighting it. This is your body. Control it." This was Ivan, his voice cold, demanding.

I clenched my hand into a fist, Ivan's mocking tone echoing in my mind. This was my body. I let myself feel every inch of myself, the way my heart raced against my chest, the feeling of my blood flowing, the strain on my muscles. My fingers reached for the dagger, and my palm clasped around it. Right as I did, the pain faded, and Andrei let go of me.

I collapsed onto the ground, panting, the dagger clutched in my hand. "Saints, Andrei, that hurts."

"Here, sit up." Andrei knelt next to me and took my hands, helping me up. I swayed next to him, one hand on the wall for balance, another in his.

But then a cool, dark wave fell over me, a heavy weight that pushed at my hand in his. Andrei let go of me, and I stumbled back against the wall, confused. Until I looked at the doorway and saw Aleksander.

"He was helping me," I panted, too tired to deal with his antics right now.

"I don't care," Aleksander said. He was beside me in one step, his arm wrapped around my waist as he supported me. I leaned gratefully into his side, still feeling dizzy.

"This training is worse than yours," I grumbled as the room finally stopped spinning, and my breath evened out. I slipped out of Aleksander's grip, and he frowned.

"How did she do?" He addressed Ivan, not even daring to look at Andrei.

Ivan bowed his head respectfully. "She resisted him for about two seconds."

Aleksander looked proud, but I grimaced. That had only been two seconds?

Andrei risked a glance at me, lifting up a glass of water. I stood and started going to him when Aleksander took the glass straight from Andrei and handed it to me, without exchanging a glance at either of us. I took it from him with more force than necessary. This really wasn't the time for him to be angry for no reason.

"Andrei was very helpful," I said pointedly, watching his reaction.

Aleksander's black brows narrowed, and his silver eyes seemed to burn. "Ivan, Alina, you may leave."

I almost laughed, but instead settled for leaning against the wall, staying exactly where I was. Ivan obediently bowed and left.

"Alina." He didn't even turn to look at me.

I stayed right where I was.

"Fine." Aleksander turned to Andrei. "Alina is a queen. My queen. You would do well to keep your hands off her."

I gritted my teeth. The only reason I wasn't screaming at Aleksander was because Andrei was still here.

"Yes, moi tsar. My apologies."

"You are dismissed."

Andrei turned to leave, but before he could, Aleksander caught him by the arm and let his fist fly. With a resounding crack, his hand met flesh. Andrei stumbled back, holding his red cheek as he made for the door.

"That was completely unnecessary—" I started to say. I didn't finish, because Aleksander's lips were against mine as he pushed me against the wall, trapping me within his arms. The kiss was hot and feverish, and every inch of me felt like static.

"Aleksander—"

"Shh," he said against my lips, kissing me harder, pulling my hands above my head. My body thrummed with power and heat, electricity coursing through my bones. Aleksander's one hand held mine together, against the wall, and his other hand trailed down my kefta, undoing the buttons.

"No one can touch you except for me," he breathed, his body pressed up against mine, power surging through my chest.

"You can't just kiss me until I forget—"

But clearly he could, because his lips met mine again, and my mind went blank.