Meant to Be My Balance

Chapter 41

Cheering crowds stood outside, some in uniforms, others in dresses, and many in threadbare clothes, dirt staining every exposed strip of skin. They had all come to watch my wedding.

When I exited these doors, I only had to follow the golden carpet to the inside of the chapel, where Aleksander would be waiting for me. Genya had done well—the black dress, the long train, gliding across the golden floor would look ravishing and highlight the embellishments along the bodice of my dress.

I was tempted—for just one second—to turn the other way, abandon this ceremony, and wait for him to realize I had escaped. But with a shock, I realized I didn't want to play that trick on him out of spite or revenge or anger. No, I simply wanted to play a trick on him, to see the astonishment, the furious look on his face as he discovered I had disappeared. I wondered if he would get nervous and start that nervous fumbling with the collar of his kefta.

"You'll be happy," Genya said, clutching my shoulders. Before she went off toward the antsy crowds, she wrapped her arms around me. "I promise," she said, pulling away.

My friends, and highly-ranked Grisha—after all, this was a political event—were walking in pairs down the aisle. Last was Genya, walking with David, easing up the crowd for me. Cheers greeted her, although they were polite, muted. I had told Genya to wear her scars proudly, but she hadn't needed my encouragement. They really did look striking against her bright hair, her red lips, her golden dress.

I supposed this was the part where my father would walk me down the aisle, passing me over to Aleksander and taking his seat at the front row. But my father was lost to the Fold, and I would be making this journey the same way I had made so many others: alone.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward, before a beautifully familiar voice greeted me. "Hey, hey, slow down. I'm supposed to walk you down the aisle, not walk behind you. That'd be rather embarrassing, chasing after you while you sprint down the aisle in that huge dress. But if you trip over yourself, then you'll be the one embarrassed, and don't think I won't laugh at you."

My eyes went wide, and I could already feel the tears stinging in them as I looked at him. His golden hair was combed back, lips curled up into a grin. He wore gold and black, a suit that fitted him quite well despite the fact that he was thinner than before the war. But it was his smile, his playful eyes, his cheery voice that sent me straight into his arms.

"Hey, hey, we have a show to get to, people are waiting! I'm pretty sure one of those old ladies is going to claw my eyes out if I don't get you out there within the next—" He made a show of looking down at his nonexistent watch. "Ten seconds."

"You're—but the King—you can't—"

Nikolai extended his arm, and I took it without question.

"The goth bastard was the one who asked me to do this. Ready?" My heart thrummed at the anxiety of today, the feeling of Nikolai's warm presence beside me, the man who awaited me at the end of the aisle. My head tilted into a nod, and Nikolai flashed his beautiful, dazzling smile as he pushed open the doors.

I was glad for his steadiness—I would have fallen flat on my face if not for him. The crowds' polite cheers and claps for my bridesmaids' turned into a raucous cacophony of excitement. Each person must've been screaming twice as loud as their lungs allowed. Their presence, their noise, their energy, it engulfed me as I walked through the courtyard to the more personal, quieter chapel. Here, all our closest friends would be, along with the foreign ambassadors.

The tall stone chapel greeted me, and I turned my gaze forward. My eyes met Aleksander's.

I was sure that I had stopped, that Nikolai was now trying to urge me forward, because I knew for a fact there was no way my legs could work when my eyes were so busy taking in the sight of him.