Meant to Be My Balance

Chapter 14

I knew very little about Tsemna: that it was right by the Fold and it was one of the Apparat's bases. I supposed that was all I needed to know.

"What about the Grand Palace? We can't leave the council alone for weeks... can we?" I asked, sitting in front of my dressing table, adjusting the pins in my hair. Genya could have easily come and help me, but Aleksander wanted to talk to me about the trip, and I had to learn how to fix my hair in something other than a military bun.

He let a small smile creep up his lips. "I have my ways."

I frowned at my reflection. "You can't just... say vague things like that and then continue on with your day. What are you planning?"

He stood from my bed, moving around the room, stopping at my closet. "Pack a week's worth of clothes for traveling, and at least a dozen dresses. Which ones are you taking?"

"A dozen? And don't think I don't notice you changing the topic." I would've stood to slap the Darkling's hand away from my clothes, but my fingers were knotted precariously in my hair. I sped up.

"We might as well stop by the dukes' houses on our way. Dinners, balls, late nights of more paperwork." His voice lilted and he picked a black dress with studded diamonds, tossing it onto the bed, and continuing to sift through my closet.

"Stop it!" I said, finishing off my braid and standing up to keep the Darkling away. Had it only been months ago that I was fighting him on a battlefield? Now I was fighting him out of my closet.

Not that it was much of a fight. One hand clamped around my wrists, holding them together, the other around my waist, pressing me to him. Once I was flush against his chest, he pressed the heel of his hand against my lower back, holding me in place while he used his other hand to pick out another tight-fitting black dress.

"You're out of practice," he commented, reaching above my head for a pair of heels.

"That's your fault."

"We can resume your training on the trip to Tsemna."

"Training in the morning, traveling in the day, attending dinners in the evening, and paperwork at night?"

"Welcome to royalty." He let go of me, reaching for another drawer. Oh no.

"Wait, no!"

The Darkling smirked down at my underwear.

***

The plan was to attend a Council meeting in the morning, then quickly leave for Tsemna. The Darkling was in a rush to get traveling, and he only had a few things to wrap up here in Os Alta.

And yet, I couldn't find sleep. I twisted and turned in my sheets, blinking up at the shadowed, wide arches of the ceiling. What would the Darkling do in Tsemna? He had promised I would be allowed to take care of the Soldat Sol, but he wasn't known for keeping his promises. Besides, I hadn't exactly held up my end of the deal through freeing Mal. Then, there was the possibility that the Darkling would hold up his deal, and I would have to figure out what to do about my cult.

Most of them were innocents, clinging to belief in the midst of a war. I couldn't hold that against them and decimate them. The only casualty I wanted was that of the Apparat's—the Darkling and I could both agree on that. But wouldn't that make him a martyr?

An ugly thought crept into my mind: I could just ask Aleksander to take care of it. He was the king. He had won the war. He would know how to get rid of the Apparat and protect Ravka.

But no. He would accomplish our common goals through bloodshed and the "price of war." I would have to figure something out myself... but maybe I could use his help.