Meant to Be My Balance

Chapter 45

"Kerch is for thieving scumbags and businessmen."

"But the port and the shops and the beaches."

"We have ports and shops and beaches in Ravka," Aleksander said, stroking my hair back. His torso, his strong chest, his muscular arms, were exposed above the blanket, and they were incredibly distracting.

"But I want to see the world, Aleksander. A honeymoon in Ravka is no fun."

"I've seen the world, Alina, and I can assure you that it's more of the same. There is no beauty, only war and death and greed."

I rolled my eyes. "If it were up to me, I would see the palaces in Ahmrat Jen."

"We are at war with Shu Han."

"At this point, it sounds like you won't even take me on a honeymoon."

Aleksander let out a soft sigh, turning to me, and pressing his lips against mine. "I promised you I would show you the world, didn't I?"

"You did." I grinned.

He stared right back at me, almost in-awe of my enthusiasm. Was it so hard for him to remember a time when the world was new and beautiful?

"Here I was, thinking marriage was a compromise. I'm just giving you whatever you ask of me."

"I told you not to marry me," I teased.

Aleksander kissed my smile away.

***

When I finally crawled out of bed for breakfast, Aleksander wasn't in our room. He was probably meeting with someone and had let me sleep in.

I asked the maids to run the bath, and I didn't miss their snicker as soon as I turned to pick out a new kefta: black with dark gold buttons. Then, I sank into the warm water, washing off the feeling of Aleksander's skin sliding against mine, his lips peppering down my neck, his hand trailing up my thigh.

With a shiver, I glanced around the empty bathroom. Then, I lowered my hands to between my legs.

***

I entered the ballroom to bows and murmurs of congratulations and praises. I nodded kindly, making sure to divert more personalized attention to the few locals who were allowed to attend through some lottery. They needed me, and my support, more than anyone else.

I'd been thinking about Aleksander's deal with Fjerda, and the more I considered it, the more angry I was. He had made yet another decision without me, and no matter how happy I was about Nikolai's promotion, expanding the Fold was off the table, even with luminaya. My feelings for Aleksander were foolish, but I refused to be stupid enough to give him full control over the lives of Grisha-killers. One day, he would snap, and thousands of innocents would die at his hands. I wasn't eager to protect Fjerdans, but I knew that they weren't all as bad as the druskelle. They deserved our mercy.

My eyes caught Aleksander's across the room, like we were just naturally pulled to each other, even amidst my anger. Maybe we were, because the mere sight of him was a blow hard enough to knock me off my feet, all thoughts of Fjerda forgotten.

"Sol koroleva?"

"Mhm?" I mumbled, my eyes still on Aleksander. It was like he was in front of me, holding my face so I had no choice but to stare straight at him. But memories of his hands only made me flush a deep scarlet. He must've noticed, because his lips curled up into a cruel smirk.

But what I should have noticed earlier was that he was standing with Genya and Nikolai. Two people who had led the rebellion against him, despised him. What was that beautiful man planning?