Meant to Be My Balance

Chapter 20

The sun bore down on us, heating my face until sweat coated my neck, and I tied my hair into the military bun I had spent most of my life wearing. Aleksander frowned when he saw it, but I stuck my tongue out at him, and with another frown he went back to work. It was too hot for me to worry about propriety the way Aleksander did.

We were supposed to head west to Keramzin, but instead we had been going north for the past two days. Aleksander needed to take care of some political problems in Balakriev, and although we'd intended to stop there earlier, my interruption had forced us to go to Poleznaya. Although, I didn't mind the road as much as I thought I would.

There weren't as many war meetings—most of the business had been arranged—which meant it was simply long hours spent on horseback as we led the troops. The first time Aleksander had brought the white horse beside his black one, I'd whined.

"We took a carriage out of Os Alta. Why can't we do that again?"

"Because, Alina," he said, helping me up, "In Os Alta, we needed to look and act like royalty and show the people we were higher than them. Now, we have an army to lead. We need to be one of them, and lead them."

"How are we supposed to lead them and be one of them at the same time," I groaned, tightening my grip on the reigns.

"You should know, considering how much time you spent with the bastard prince." I couldn't help my surprise. Nikolai had always been able to maintain the idea that he was royalty and superior while seeming like one's best friend. But I didn't think Aleksander would bring that up.

But he wasn't finished. "He led like a dog and spent the rest of his time acting like one."

"Aleksander."

He shrugged, unapologetic.

We had spent every morning training, and for the first time in my life, I felt like if I saw a mountain, I could cut it down, just like I had done with Baghra, Mal, and Nikolai at my side.

Now, we were only hours away from Balakriev, and I was not looking forward to the balls, dances, and feasts that would greet us. They were things I used to dream about back in the First Army, but now, I couldn't help but feel disappointed at the thought of dressing up and talking diplomacy.

"We'll stop here, bathe and clean up, then back in the carriage," Aleksander said, his hand shielding his eyes from the bright sunlight.

"Back in the carriage," I muttered. "Like I said two days ago, hm?"

His gray eyes narrowed. "Alina."

I rolled my eyes, riding faster to get ahead of Aleksander, stopping at the clearing where we would take a break and become more "presentable" royals.

I thought I'd lost him, but a few moments later, his black horse trotted up beside mine, and he was down in seconds. He extended his hand to me, and grudgingly, I took it, letting him help me down. When we were both on the ground, I became vaguely aware of Aleksander's hand, still in mine, the way our bodies were only inches apart. My breaths were heavy from the ride, and my skin felt hot, like light was just waiting to burst from me.

"Alina." Now, my name was less like a scold and more like a plea.

I reached up, my lips crashing against his, our bodies molding together as his hand tightened on my waist, his other hand knotting in my hair, holding our lips against each other. My fingers clawed at his kefta, pressing against his firm chest as he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pushed me against a tree, my back scraping against the trunk as he concealed us from the rest of the troops, shadows slithering around our bodies, a curtain of darkness.