Meant to Be My Balance

Chapter 35

"You did well." His voice was soft, cool.

"Don't praise me. I did what I had to do." I had left the bodies behind only moments ago, walking back toward the war room. Aleksander trailed behind me.

I didn't want to kill them. They had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and the tensions between them were a result of our inadequacy in ruling. But if I had left every party alive, my leadership would have been questioned. I had to act, to keep order.

But I didn't want Aleksander complimenting me on it.

"Alina, wait."

I turned, stopping short as Aleksander kept walking, right up to me, until there was barely an inch of space between us. I should have pulled back, but electricity crackled around us like a cage, holding us pressed against each other, our lips so close to—

He leaned down, and his lips captured mine in a kiss. It was all power and electricity, the kiss of immortals.

"Adrik," I blurted.

Aleksander stopped, his silver eyes narrowing, his lips set. "Why, Alina, are you saying another man's name when I kiss you?"

I blinked. "I—I just remembered. You told Adrik to put in a good word for you."

"Little devil," Aleksander muttered, stepping back.

"You—you let him and Nadia and Leoni—"

"And, Alina?"

He had gone stiff, looking away from me. Were his cheeks slightly pink or was I just imagining it?

"Nothing." A smile played against my lips as I opened the door of the war room. The four generals stood and bowed to us. "Moi tsar, moya tsaritsa," they said.

Aleksander and I took our seats, and got to work. Aleksander had been drafting children of all ages for the war efforts, and they had clustered near the border in our wars. The problem was, the wars were supposed to be over. Shu Han and Fjerda were supposed to give in, once they saw the power of the Fold.

That may have been my fault.

In my defense, I had saved countless Ravkan, Shu, and Fjerdan lives. Innocent civilians who happened to live on border towns didn't deserve to be killed. I stood by my decisions, even if I would have to face the consequences.

"If we pull our troops back, the foreigners will advance and claim our land as their own. If we move forward, they'll shoot us on the spot. What shall we do?" The general looked to us for guidance.

"Landmines," I said, as if the answer was clear as day. Even Aleksander turned to me, eyebrows raised. "Genya told me about David's idea for them. He's been working on all the designs."

"Hm," Aleksander said, nodding appreciatively. "I'll have to pay him a visit, then."

He really had a knack for making innocuous statements sound like threats.

We discussed the supply shipments, the army's casualties, and surprisingly, the new uniforms. They'd become something of a priority for Aleksander, and now, every army uniform had our signia on it.

We finished and Aleksander and I walked back to our bedroom. It was only after a moment that I realized I still had my room down the hall.

"I'd like you to speak to the wedding planner about your personal preferences regarding the ceremony," Aleksander said.

"I don't have any. I've never thought about a wedding." A lie, but the weddings I had imagined were in Keramzin's fields with only my friends and family by my side. Not a royal wedding, certainly.

"It's time to start," Aleksander replied. He looked back up at me, a smile playing on his lips. "You're glowing, Alina."

"Oh." I looked down at my hands, luminescent. "Sorry." They faded back to pale skin in an instant.

"No," Aleksander said, his voice hard. "Don't hide from me. Never hide from me."

He stood, his legs long and his stride powerful as he made his way to me, tipping my chin up, gazing into my eyes.

"I—I can't, Aleksander," I said.

"You can." He barely moved his lips as he spoke, tracing the curve of my cheek with his finger. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

Every fiber of me pulsed out of my skin, and I could barely hold myself back as I lifted my lips and pressed them against Aleksander's. He let out a soft sound of need, his hands gripping my waist as he kissed me harder. Our bodies pressed together, lean, trained muscle, and my skin felt like it was on fire.

Aleksander brought his lips to my neck, tracing my collarbone as his fingers undid my kefta. Each brush of his hand against my bare skin made my mind go blank, and I couldn't help the sounds that escaped me as his touch travelled down. I panted and sweated, my body collapsing against his under just the graze of his fingertips.

Saints, he made me so weak.

***

I was lying in bed next to Aleksander, staring up at the ceiling. His eyes were closed, but I knew he wasn't asleep, so I started speaking.

"At dinner, the Grisha were complaining about the otkazats'ya again. We have to do something about it."

Aleksander pretended to ignore me.

"This is in Os Alta. Just imagine how the tensions are at the Front. Things were already bad when I was with the cartography unit. We used to hate—"

"Alina."

"Yes?"

"Please, let me sleep."

"You weren't sleeping anyway. Besides, this is your fault, so you should have to listen to it."

He groaned and sat up. "How is this my fault?"

Did he really not know? "You favor the Grisha."

"Because we're stronger. We have a connection to the planet that otkazats'ya cannot even begin to imagine. They're nothing more than cannon fodder."

"There you go again."

"It's not my fault you're soft for them." He went back to lying down.

"It doesn't matter if we live longer. Think what you may, but otkazats'ya love and feel, and they create things that last for eternities, even if their lives do not."

"I can create things too," he grumbled.

"Yes, a Fold that tears our country in half, I'm aware," I drawled.

Aleksander turned to face me, his eyes tracing my face in the dim light. "You never cease to sympathize for them, do you?" His voice had lost its edge, and now it was gentle, soft. Even... admiring?

Before I could reply, I heard the almost unnoticeable sound of a thump. It could've come from the hallway or a rat slinking around the walls of the palace. But my gut told me something was wrong, and I sprung out of bed.

"Alina?" he asked, blinking up at me.

I let my palms fill with light. Had it come from the closet?

I took slow, careful steps toward the closet, my eyes watchful, my hands ready. Who could have snuck in here? How had we not noticed them?

I pulled the closet door open just as Aleksander sat up out of bed, calling after me again.

And I came face-to-face with Tania's brother, holding a knife. 

Hey! Sorry about being late tonight. It's 12:30am here, and don't get me wrong I'm usually awake right now, but it's not the best writing time either 😅. This chapter feels a little weak, I know, but I threw in some kisses sooo...!  

Thanks for reading 🖤