Meant to Be My Balance

Chapter 28

Aleksander nodded at his Squaller, a single, brisk gesture. "Turn us back."

I let out a breath, my chest feeling lighter, my entire body relaxing. I had not imagined it, then. Some part of the Darkling was achingly human, and maybe even, devastatingly in love with me.

"Thank you," I whispered, my voice a mere breath in the air.

His look was unreadable, not even when it lingered on me with an intensity I couldn't place. I was the first to look away, toward the children. I was about to move from then when a familiar grip held my ankle in place.

Aleksander's face broke into a small smile, and right then and there, the king of Ravka knelt down and pulled a key out of the pocket of his kefta. It was something to see—the Darkling, on the ground in front of me, his hand on the chains around my ankle. The lock clicked, and I was about to break away from his touch, when I felt his long, slender, cool fingers brush against my leg, underneath my kefta. It was as if he couldn't resist being this close and not touch me.

"Aleksander," I mumbled. "People are watching." It was difficult to keep a straight expression when his fingers skimmed across my calf one more time before he slipped his hands off me, along with the chain.

It took me only a moment to go toward the children, toward Tania.

"Please, the chains are hurting me, and the sound—" Her little face was red, her eyes wide.

"Don't worry, Tania. I'll get you out of these." I smiled at her and looked to Aleksander for the key. Aleksander was just reaching into his pocket, when he appeared.

With him came that dark aura, the smell of old books and mold. A golden sun was embroidered onto his robes, and I took a step back as soon as he came. I didn't know where he had been, but he must've been hiding abroad the skiff. Waiting. Watching.

I chanced a glance at Aleksander, whose hands were already rising. Nichevo'ya appeared instantaneously, grabbing at the Apparat's arms. He was restrained—but just from looking at him, it was hard to tell. He was the picture of calm, like he was hiding something else up his sleeve.

"I was quite surprised when you turned this skiff around." The Apparat cocked his head, facing only the Darkling. "I didn't think you had it in you."

Aleksander didn't even flinch, stepping closer. "How dare you show your face here?"

"I think the real question you mean to ask," The Apparat said, his voice going low, "is why I chose my face now." Before I could think twice, the skiff stopped. We were at the port.

Where the Apparat's allies awaited.

While we had been aboard the skiff, fighting over the Fold, the Apparat had ordered his forces to attack our waiting troops. But that wasn't all. Right then, I saw the light shift on the dock. Then, arrows. Hundreds, all at once, heading straight for Aleksander and me. Druskelle.

I struck out with the Cut before I even knew, and each arrow that came barreling my way snapped in half. Aleksander stretched his hands out, and the world was plunged into darkness.

"Now, Alina!"

I needed no explanation. Sharp blades of blinding light shot from my hand, blinding anyone on the docks. I focused on the way the light filled the space around us, and used that power, pulling it closer and closer, the atoms fitting too tightly together until... BAM!

The dock exploded into a fiery blaze. When I looked up, nichevo'ya circled above the druskelle. There were so many, they blocked out the weak rays of sunset. I didn't think I'd ever get used to their black, stretched skin, the long wings, the claws—I shuddered, and focused my attention on the smoke on the docks, looking for any sign of life.

In mere seconds, Aleksander and I had managed to wipe out at least twenty highly-trained Fjerdan soldiers.

I took it back—maybe eighteen—as three more arrows flew toward us. Aleksander's nichevo'ya leapt in front of me before I could use the Cut, and took two in the heart. The third veered to the side.

"Stay here." Aleksander pressed a kiss to my head and jumped straight off the boat, onto the dock. A scream rung through the air moments later, and Aleksander stepped out of the rubble with a druskelle. He held him brutally, and blood spilled onto Aleksander's hands from the gaping wound in the druskelle's shoulder.

"Alina," I heard a whisper behind me, and turned back. Saints, I'd almost forgotten about the children in the chaos. Did the rubble hit one of them?

But it was Tania. And there wasn't rubble on her face. There was an arrow through her stomach.

"Tania!" I cried, hurrying to her. Saints, the arrow looked so big in her little body. How much blood was she losing? But just looking at her wound, it didn't look like something that could be healed. Either way, I cried out, "Healer! Healer!"

My heart thumped in my chest, and as soon as I reached Tania, she fell into my arms. I crumpled on the floor, her head in my lap, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Am I going to die?"

"No, no, Saints, no. I'm not going to let you die. That's not going to happen." My voice sounded breathless to my own ears, the lie making my throat strain. I squeezed her hand, my chest twisting when I realized how loose her grip was. As if she couldn't even summon the strength to hold my hand.

She smiled, as if she could hear my lie. "It's okay. I'm going to see my ma and pa"

"Not yet," I whispered. "They're not ready for you, yet."

The Healer came, a woman in a red kefta. She came down on the floor next to me, leaning over Tania.

"Help her," I begged, my own eyes watering. I looked up and caught the sight of Aleksander watching me. His face was deathly pale.

"Moya tsaritsa—I cannot."

"SAVE HER!"

Tania's big brown eyes blinked at me, and then she closed them, like she wanted no more of this world. Her chest stopped rising, and she was gone.

I didn't know how long I was there on that boat. People had come on and off, prisoners like the Apparat and the surviving druskelle taken into custody. I took off my kefta and wrapped it around Tania's small body. Saints, she was getting colder and colder, her skin pale. Tears dripped down my cheeks, but I held her, even as the sky grew pitch black.

"Alina."

I shook my head, brushing Tania's brown curls behind her ear. She would've grown to be such a beautiful woman.

"Alina, it's time to let her go."

I squeezed my eyes shut, and tears dripped down my face. How many people had I let go? How many of my friends died in front of my eyes, because of me?

How different would things have been if I let Aleksander expand the Fold into Tsemna? She would still be here. Laughing, with that little sunburn on her nose, because she refused to wear Ana Kuya's salve.

I was so angry—angry at the druskelle, angry at myself, angry at—

"You. You did this. You brought her into the middle of a war."

He flinched. "I—I didn't—"

"You waged a war and talked about casualties like they were just numbers." I lifted my gaze to meet his red-rimmed eyes. "This is your war. This is your fault."

The Darkling reached his hand out, as if he wanted to touch me, comfort me, but he thought better of it. When I looked back up, he was gone. 

I would say I'm sorry, but Iying is a sin. I promise this is going to contribute to character development. That can be Tania's legacy... now that she's...you know...🪦

HoForTheDarkling and vlada2107... I tried warning you guys.