Finding myself

Chapter 104

Two days later, Lexi had informed me of a message she had received from Sam informing me about when he planned to attack. The farewell party.

It was much sooner than I had hoped. Then again I suspected he was just testing me when he told me it would be long before we commenced.

Between my wolf and Sam, things were proving to be difficult to handle. I religiously read on the youth pills looking for a loophole, much to Blaze's frustration. I smiled at him apologetically, he had wanted to talk during meals. Even though it was just small talk and nothing serious. He hadn't brought anything up after the suicide question. Probably afraid of whatever I had to say, for now, he seemed content with our current dynamic. Honesty I didn't know what I wanted with him either. He would be needed at the pack soon though. I had a feeling he wouldn't leave so easily. And everyone understood of course. Besides I heard Zonn was doing a stellar job. This was right up his alley.

I needed to tell the truth about everything. About the war. About Sam. About me. What I had done the years I had disappeared.

I couldn't find anything to discourage Sam with. What was done to the vampires was cruel. Because of the werewolves' selfishness and ambition. In the end, the experiment to make the pills of longevity wasn't even a success.

So it was with a heavy heart that I had called the gang and my parents in, finally ready to confess. They had looked at me expectantly and Blaze had given me an encouraging smile. He didn't know what I had to say but his support still helped. T

So I began narrating from the very beginning- everything from the time the attack on my pack when I was seven to when I shifted prematurely after Blaze's rejection; there were few tears at the from my mom, Stacy, and Amelia at times. Blaze also looked like he didn't want to listen. But then again he knew all this. And he had probably told my parents too.

Now to the hard part. I told them about meeting Sam in the woods and how he had taken me in to train. I kept the narration as objective and nonchalant and emotionless as possible. The last thing I needed was to garner any sympathy or anger or even bias. None of it would help with the current situation. I needed their help right now and if I didn't do this, the message wouldn't get across.

To say they were shocked would be an understatement. Their expressions conveyed betrayal when I had confessed that I actually came back to help Sam with the war. Blaze's face had remained carefully expressionless at that. What was he thinking? Was he angry? Hurt?

I continued on despite their shock about everything I had done. The spying that I had done. The cameras that I hacked into, even the computers that I had made explode. By the end of it, Jason was shaking in anger. I had expected that. He was one of the most loyal people to me after all.

"So, you would have gone through with this if it wasn't for your near-death experience?" He asked.

I could have lied then and told them that I wouldn't. I was considering betraying Sam anyways. But as things had last stood, I had wanted to destroy everyone. My wolf was uncontrollable.

So I told them the truth.

I nodded my head. I could feel their collective disappointment. Jason tried to storm out.

I immediately electrocuted the doorknob and windows. Almost as a reflex to prevent them from leaving before I finished. The doorknob crackled with electricity that I made visible. He turned around to meet my glowing blue eyes in anger.

"Jason, wait-" I said but I got interrupted.

"Listen, if Blaze can't force his will on you and make you accept him as your mate, then you certainly can't keep us here against our will. You can't force us to help you." He spat out.