Finding myself

Chapter 98

Dex left immediately seeing how I was in no state to talk, his concern overriding his anger.

He would probably ask to see his daughter but the guards wouldn't let him in as I hadn't amended my orders. It would be for the best. She would attack him if he went now.

She had closed the link again but I knew her wolf had taken over just before I left. The entire room will be destroyed now.

I couldn't contain the shock and grief of it all. For everything, I had done to her and for everything that had been done to her. It wasn't fair. I knew she had a tough life. I thought it was good that we could relate to one another. But I didn't know it was this much tougher than mine.

I don't know how long lay on the floor like that weeping, but soon I heard fast footsteps approaching my office. The door slammed open and a fuming Athelia grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me up.

"YOU PIECE OF SH*T!" She screamed clawing at my face. Drake and the rest of the gang who had followed her because of the commotion pulled her away from me. I had no strength in me to fight back. Besides she was right of course.

Dex hugged her and pulled her away as she broke to her knees at the other end of the room. I can only imagine her pain. As a mother to know her daughter was broken into and violated like that? What would they think when they heard everything else?

That despite her confident smirks and snarky comments their daughter was broken inside? And the huge role I had played in it.

"Please let me see her. Please , please, please." Athelia begged as she sobbed in Dex's arms.

Jason, Stacy, and Amelia had tears in their eyes as they watched. Zarine looking shocked by Jason's side. Despite hating crowds that kid had come out for her. Drake and Hails looked concerned for their mates while Raven was nowhere to be found.

"She is my baby girl, please don't take her from me. Please." She continued. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. Zara is in no state to see any of them. She will attack without care. She might have even gone berserk.

Finally. Because I couldn't help but push her. All my work went down the drain.

"Please let me see my baby," Athelia begged. I knew if I gave them the chance they would whisk her away and I wouldn't see her anymore.

Despite everything, I wouldn't allow that. She was mine and she will stay with me. Come hell or high. I will help her through this. I have to. If I didn't, I will die with her.

"Everyone get out. Dex and Athelia, I need to talk with you." I said calmly, finally collecting my wits about me.

They needed to know what happened other. They deserved it. And if they were going to beat me up for being a scumbag, I will deserve it.

The gang left albeit reluctantly. Especially Jason and Zarine. Stacey had to push Jason out while Drake had to carry Zarine.

I was finally left alone with them and I opened my mouth not knowing where to start. Not knowing the heads or tails of what I saw. They seated themselves in front of me.

So I began where I thought I should begin and they listened to me patiently.

..........

Blaze POV

New had spread fast about what happened to Zara. Or more accurately what I had done to her. Everyone looked at me eagerly. No one approached me to talked to me about it.

Even other alphas were wary around me. Including ones from the ancient packs. No one could believe I was so cruel. Neither could I.

It's been four days since I had forcefully marked. Athelia couldn't stop crying as I told them everything I saw. Dex's eyes were rimmed with tears as he consoled his crying mate. But what could he say? What could he say to ease a mother who grieved for what had been done to her daughter? He was helpless and he knew it. That made it worse.

Even the gang had come to find out. They glared at me whoever they saw me. And rightfully so. One thing was clear despite everything though. I would never let her go. Despite what anyone felt. She was my mate. She belonged with me at my side. And I will help her, I will find a way. I have to.

I went about pack business as usual trying to distract myself. The only change being that I had given them permission to visit her after warning them of her condition. Athelia had looked at me like she would kill me with her eyes if she could.

They had all taken turns visiting her, but I heard Zara responded to no one. She was half shifted and growling agitatedly all the time. Even Zarine had minimal effect. I was the only one who hadn't visited the past few days. I had a feeling she wasn't ready for me yet.

The entire room was decimated, the bed, the mattress, the lights, and the wooden shelves. Even the toilet was destroyed. And she sat on the corner of the wall all the time or in the bathtub against the cool ceramic. She wouldn't even eat, and wouldn't sleep. Worst of all however was that she wouldn't stop bleeding.

She wouldn't heal or more accurately, she wouldn't let it heal. She kept scratching at the wound, distorting the bite mark so badly that you wouldn't even know what it was if you looked at it. And she didn't let it heal. She kept scratching at it so the wound stayed fresh all the time.

She wouldn't let anyone approach her or manage it for her and she left the bandages I left untouched.

If I was concerned for her before, she terrified me now. The condition she was in. She wouldn't even speak instead choosing to growl in warning. And wouldn't let anyone within five feet of her.

I even approached Zonn again for some insight and he told me that I wasn't dealing with the human anymore but the wolf. And the wolf saw everything in black and white. No color, no emotions, no middle ground. It would be next to impossible to have a rational conversation let alone to speak to her. I rubbed my face solemnly.

What have you done Blaze?

You broke your mate. You hurt her like no other despite promising to be the one who would never do such a thing. Despite being the one who should be protecting her against all harm.

I have to bring her back to me. I had to. I don't know how, but I had to. I even contemplated getting her to leave for a while with Dex but no that may worsen the situation. My not being able to see or help her terrified me.

I can't forgive myself.

I had to find a way to help her.

I approached Dex finally, helpless. I knocked on his door ad he opened it, glaring once he knew it was me.

He looked haggard and I could see Athellia sleeping on the bed inside. She must be exhausted. I knew that she had tried to approach Zara more than anyone else at least to bandage her wounds but Zian had been unrelenetlessly feral to her. I felt bad.

"I need your help," I said with a straight voice.

He sighed opening the door wider to let me in. He was my last hope.