Matters | JENSOO

25th

Jisoo spent the morning with her dad, they opened the gifts they had prepared for each other. Jisoo was thrilled when she found out that she also got some Christmas presents and money from her extended family; one of her aunts even knitted a Christmas beanie for Dalgom and the dog woofed in joy.

It was a pretty simple Christmas morning for her small family; her father greeted the neighbors for a merry Christmas on his way to the cakery. He then came home with a small Christmas cake, which they finished while watching Christmas movies on TV.

Some of the neighbors dropped by and gifted small jars of Christmas cookies. When Jisoo was little, her mom used to bake Christmas cookies; now that she wasn't around anymore, the neighbors would bake for Jisoo so that she could still experience the Christmas tradition like every other children in the neighborhood.

It was nice that they took care of each other in their humble and small neighborhood.

***

When it was starting to get dark, Jisoo took a bus to Lisa's home. She brought some cookies for them to enjoy; the precious gift for Jennie was in her bag. She took it out.

Jisoo had been worrying herself about how she should present the locket to Jennie. Lisa suggested not to wrap it with paper, instead it was best to simply tie a bow on the box. So Jisoo followed a tutorial on Youtube how to make one. She was pretty impressed with the result.

As the bus got closer to her destination, her heart raced a little faster. She rehearsed the words she had prepared like it was a mantra. Before she could finish, she found herself stuttering and gasping for air. It felt exactly like that night in Jeju; when she was about to kiss Jennie.

It was a nervous attack, where her body suddenly lost all its strength and the feeling of running away would consume her just by imagining herself being nakedly honest about her feelings to Jennie.

She put back the jewelry box inside her bag, there were only 2 bus stops before she had to get off. She assured herself that she wouldn't lose her strength; she had fed herself well that day. She also had rehearsed her words like a science champ that she was. She equipped herself with a hard-earned and beautiful gift. She dressed herself well.

She would be fine, Jisoo assured her heart. But then her weakling heart took her mind back to the first snow where Jennie landed a peck on her cheek. Suddenly her body lost its strength and her mind lost all the rehearsed words.

Fuck it, Kim Jisoo! She could feel blood drained from her face. She hugged her bag tighter, in where she kept the box. Thinking about the pedant calmed her down.

Her body and her words might fail her, but she had the pedant.

It won't fail you, Kim Jisoo. The pedant will do its job just fine.

***