Matters | JENSOO

That was real

Jisoo was disappointed that she was no longer Jennie's driver. She still had two weeks before the semester started and she would like to spend the remaining days with Jennie.

"What are you going to do tonight?" Jisoo asked Jennie.

"I don't know yet."

"Do you plan to go to the club again tonight?" Jisoo asked carefully.

"I don't know yet. Maybe. Why?"

"Will Zico be there?"

"Most probably. He lives in and breathes that club. What a loser."

"Yeah such an asshole." Jisoo quickly agreed on that.

"Don't go there then." Jisoo added.

"Excuse me?"

"If he's there, don't go there. Who will protect you? He is not a good person."

Jennie remembered Jisoo was so furious that night when she tried to save her from Zico. Her heart was racing when she remembered how Jisoo gripped her wrist tightly that night. Jennie got a hot flush.

She cleared her throat and stole a glance at Jisoo, she saw her frowning.

"I haven't thanked you yet for helping me that night."

Jisoo looked at Jennie, "I thought you were mad at me."

"I did. But on a second thought... you did the right thing. So, thank you." Jennie smiled.

Jennie added, "Why didn't you go home that night? I told you to go home."

Jisoo took her time to answer, "I was worried that you were too drunk to go home that night."

"Where did you wait? Inside?"

"I was waiting outside, but at 3, I went inside."

Jennie was touched by the fact that Jisoo was waiting for her for hours.

"Why didn't you go home? Rosé told you to go home that night, right?" Jisoo asked.

"I don't know." At that time, Jennie was actually frustrated by their fight the previous day. She wanted to let her frustration out that night by drinking and dancing till the morning.

"Will you go there again tonight?" Jisoo repeated her question.

"Why? You don't want me to go?" Jennie was fishing for Jisoo's reaction.

"Well..." Jisoo paused, "You should decide. But probably you want to stay away from Zico when he's drunk. And make sure your designated driver is trustworthy. Don't forget to drink water before you sleep."

Jennie glanced at her, Jisoo looked troublesome, "I won't go there tonight."

"You won't?" Jisoo's face instantly looked brighter.

"No."

"Okay." Jisoo said cheerfully and Jennie got to see a glimpse of her heart-shaped smile.

When they were about to reach Jisoo's apartment, Jennie slowed down the speed to buy them more time together.

"Please rest well today, Jisoo. And don't forget to take your medicine."

"Okay," Jisoo paused, "Jennie, did something happen when I was delirious?"

Jennie suddenly hit the brake.

"What happened??" Jisoo panicked. She stuck her head to the road in front of them, looking for the source of the sudden brake.

"Ugh nothing..." Jennie said nervously, "Just a bad reflex."

"I don't quite remember what happened when I was delirious. My dad always told me that I'm stubborn to handle when I'm delirious."

Jennie cleared her throat, "You were... very very difficult to handle."

"Did I do something to you?" Jisoo asked nervously, "I once pushed a bowl and broke it when I was delirious because I didn't want to eat more. Dad told me."

"You... didn't do such thing." she stummered.

"Oh thank God."

"But nevertheless, you were annoying and stubborn. Why couldn't you remember?" Jennie suddenly raised her pitch.

"I don't know. Oh and also, I usually talk incoherently when I am delirious."

"Excuse me?? What do you mean with 'incoherently'?" suddenly Jennie was furious.

"You know, like saying something that doesn't make sense."

"You said it doesn't make sense???"

Is she implying that her 'I miss you Jennie' was just an incoherent talk that didn't make sense???

Jisoo observed Jennie, "Why do you suddenly get so work up?"

Jennie tried to calmed herself down, her cheeks were still flushed, "I'm saying, when someone is delirious, it's also possible that they will do and say what they wanted to do and say the most; but because they're a coward in real life; they couldn't say it; so they channel their inner cowardice in their delirious state."

Jennie finished her lecture with a heavy hint of insinuation.

Jisoo stared at Jennie in amazement, "Woah... you really know much about delirium..."

Jennie cleared her throat. This dummy doesn't know that I'm talking about her duh...

***

They finally arrived in front of Jisoo's apartment, no one wanted to say goodbye yet.

Jisoo just sat in the car. She was relieved that she finally could say things she wanted to say to Jennie today. But there was something else she wanted to say the most to her; and she was uncertain if she should say it.

Jisoo knew she must had said and done something to Jennie when she was delirious. Jisoo had this vague memory of that night, that she was holding and caressing Jennie's hand and told her not to leave; that she missed her.

Is that true? Was it not just a figment of my hallucination? She wasn't sure.

"Jennie?" she said softly.

"Hmm?" Jennie answered with the same sentiment.

The air seemed like stop moving, the tension was so thick they both could feel it.

"If there was anything I said to you in my delirium; and if that was something that isn't offensive to you, I think... I think I really meant it." she paused, "Please understand that... that was real."

Jennie's expression slowly changed. She suddenly looked timid. The girls stared at each other for a moment to read what was there between the lines.

Jennie swallowed hard the lump in her throat, her heart was racing; she said, "Okay..."

"Okay," Jisoo reluctantly opened the door.

"Thanks for taking me home."

"Okay." Jennie still didn't move; in fact her brain was frozen in that moment.

"I will see you soon."

"Okay..." Jennie's mind still wasn't there. She watched Jisoo walking away; felt like her chest was about to explode from happiness and the wild fluttering butterflies in her stomach wasn't much of a help. She started her car though she felt that her knees were so weak.

What are you doing to me, Jisoo? And how?

That day by far was the best day for Jennie.

***