xxxix.

221 9 0
                                    

Jayen

Alexandra brushed them off. “What’s wrong, what happened?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I rubbed my arms. “It’s cold out here. Just yell at me inside. . .”

Her eyes softened. “I’m not yelling at you. I was just--”

“Guys please. It’s cold.” Kuna butt in.

She nodded and wrapped her arm around my shoulders to guide me towards the house. I pushed her arm off and walked faster, leaving them behind. I didn’t want to try to explain what i felt. I didn’t even know what I felt. . . I wanted to be alone but I also wanted to be surrounded by friends. I wanted to cry in the dark but I also wanted to laugh and eat with them.

I tugged the door open and slipped inside. I didn’t care if Aoife wanted me in our room or not yet. I just wanted to sleep in my own bed and pretend like I was still a good person. Like I didn’t just nearly kill a man. Like I didn’t still want to kill him.

The room was dark when I entered. The light from the hallway light up AOife’s face as she turned towards me. She was sitting on the edge of her bed. I ignored her and flopped onto my own comfortable, safe, and familiar bed. I wrapped the blankets around me.

“What happened?” Aoife’s voice was warm.

“Nothing.”

“We wouldn’t have been searching everywhere for you if nothing was wrong.” She chuckled. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I groaned. “Not you too. . . If I wanted to talk about i would--you know what?--I already did talk about. And I still don’t feel better. I drank with a friend and I still don’t feel better.”

“That’s probably the problem. You got drunk while feeling terrible.”

“Hardly. It was Kin.”

I heard Aoife shuffling around then settle down on my bed. “Listen, whatever you’re feeling right now. I want you to know that it’s probably normal. You’ve been through a lot.”

I snorted out of my nose.

“Yeah fair. But I know that you’ve been through some intense mental games today. Maybe even some physical ones. You got your neck cut.” Aoife rubbed my shoulder. “You’ll feel better tomorrow, I promise.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “I don’t know if I will. But let’s hope that I do. I don’t think I could work here feeling like this. It like somebody covered me in mud and made me run ten miles while getting chased by the entire Town. And a swarm of wasps.”

Aoife laughed. “Goodnight Jayen.”

“Goodnight Aoife.”

Growing Into You (First Draft; Unedited)Where stories live. Discover now