Growing Into You (First Draft; Unedited)

x.

Jayen

The sun had started to set and we still hadn’t seen the lady again. Aoife and I had been busy pruning the roses. 

“No! Get away! You cut one of our beautiful heads!” The roses swayed around wildly and I jerked my hand back. Aoife was wearing my only pair of gloves.

“I’m sorry it was an accident!” I pleaded. “We have to cut some of the spent flowers!” I reached my hand out again, trying to grab onto a browning flower.

“You’re mean!” They swung towards me, fast. I didn’t have time to move my hand back as they dug their thorns into my hand. I flung my hand away and cradled it to my body. The pain was sharp and radiated through my entire hand.

“Oh, stars--” 

“Let me help, I have gloves.” Aoife knelt next to me.

“No! A friend of the fiend!” They swung around again.

“No--ow--they don’t want you to help either.” I looked at my head. I had three small holes that had started dripping blood down my hand.

“Do you want me to--”

I waved her off. “No, it’s fine. We’re going inside now anyways.

“Victory!”

“We’re coming back for you tomorrow!” I stuck my tongue out at them.

“Real mature.” Aoife laughed. She stood up and pulled up with her, staying away from my injured hand.

“They started it. Look they hurt my hand.” I pouted. “I said I was sorry.”

“We don’t like your apology come back with a BETTER one!” The roses yelled at me.

“Technically you started it.” Aoife rubbed my shoulder. Her touch was light and comforting.

“Who’s side are you on?” I side-eyed her. 

“I’ll always be on your side.” She said it in a joking tone but the look in her eyes told that it was sincere.

I flushed bright red and looked away. My heart fluttered a little bit. Like a fledgling that was too scared to fly again. I leaned into Aoife a little bit more, almost desperate to help the bird fly again.

“And that’s why Maj likes you so much.”

She laughed and we headed back towards the building, her hand on my shoulder.

“Is Lady Dupon going to eat with us?” Aoife dropped her hand as we got closer to the door. 

“Have you ever worked at a place like this?” I asked her. 

“No, why?”

“Well, the owner of the house doesn’t eat with the staff. There are some exceptions to that though but it’s socially unacceptable or something like that. She’d eat in the dining hall while one or more of us serve her. The cook wouldn’t and neither would we.”

“Wouldn’t what?” Aoife tilted her head.

I laughed. “Wouldn’t serve her. The cooks stay in the kitchen during meals and well, we’re gardeners.”

Aoife laughed. “I guess I’m more tired than I thought. Today’s been really draining.”

I opened the door for her. “Tomorrow we’re going to fix up the gazebo-”

“Would Jinan eat with us?”

I froze, holding the door open. “Yeah. I think so. Maybe. . . Maybe he’d eat with the lady depending on their relationship.”

“You mean like if they’re-”

“No, ew, don’t even finish that sentence. I mean like, depending on his position as part of her staff.” I shook my head. I really didn’t want to think Jinan or the lady. Or Jinan and the lady.

Aoife laughed. “Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“If Jinan’s there, I’m sure Maj will understand why I’m not there, or why we’re both not there.”

“Do they both know. . .um, know what happened?”

“Yeah, they were there for it. C’mon, let’s go get cleaned up then go to dinner.”

We usually have an hour before dinner. When we have someone running the estate we’re expected to shower and get ready at this time. The shower room sounds like a public shower room but it’s actually just a hallway with eight rooms for showering. We each have our own. Mine is in the far back, room eight.

Nothing felt better than being able to strip away the grime and stress from work. My hands and knees were caked with dirt and I hadn’t bandaged the rose cuts yet. I turned on the shower and waited for it to get warm. 

I hadn’t seen Jinan yet, thankfully. Was he the same person he used to be? Was his hair still cropped short? Did he still tower over me? Did he still have power over me? Was I going to let him have power over me?

The room was starting to steam up and I stepped under the water. The heat felt amazing after the stress I went through as well and the manual labor. I closed my eyes and thought about summer. Laying in the sun when I was a kid and gardening with my brother. Anything was better than here with Jinan and the lady.

“How did you get here?” Joshua asked me. It was late at night, nearly midnight. I was standing at his front door at ten years old, covered in dirt and carrying a small bag. He was kneeling down so he was at eye level with me.

“I walked.” I was so proud of myself.

“Jay, I live on an island.”

“And a boat.”

Joshua shook his head. “Do mom and dad know you’re here?”

I shrugged. “They told me to leave. I don’t think they care where I go. You’re not going to make me go back are you?”

Joshua pulled me into a hug. He smelled like oranges and dirt. “No, of course not. I’m never going to let them near you again, ok?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, let’s get you something to eat. Do you still like grapefruit and butter rolls?” He stood up and took me by the hand into his little cottage. It was warmly light with candles and had plants growing in pots everywhere. It smelled like fresh bread. It smelled like home.

“Do you want to take a bath before dinner?”

I nodded and he pointed me towards the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. I had a large bruise growing on my jaw and my nose had dried blood on it. My hair was a mess and my usually tan skin looked burnt and damaged. I was only walking for a couple of days.

I would’ve walked weeks to get away from them though.

I was drying my hair when Aoife knocked on the door. I was already dressed but I hated the feeling of wet hair and I was having trouble getting it to dry completely.

“I’ll wait out here for you so we can walk into dinner together.”

“Thank you, Aoife,” I called back.

I brushed through my hair and tied it back into a high ponytail. I added a thicker ribbon to it as a way of keeping it stable. This was as good as it was going to get. 

I looked at the holes on my hand, they were deeper than I thought they were. They bleed occasionally but it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t worth wasting a bandage someone else might need.

I opened the door and took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m ready.”