Moving In - A Vinnie Hacker Story

Moving In S2 Pt23 - Touch

He didn't want to rush me or make me feel uncomfortable, so he followed my lead. He waited for me to initiate. But, I wasn't ready. I got his hopes up and let him down and now that hate is rising to the surface a little more.

I turn my head to look at him, wondering what's going on inside his mind. Sometimes I wish I could read it, but I know that wouldn't do me any favors.

He's breathing harder than normal and it's evenly spaced. Breathe in, 1...2...3. Breathe out, 1...2...3...4...5. He's trying not to scream, or cry, or talk. He has so much to say, all of which could be fixed by just holding onto me for the night, but I don't know if I should.

I feel like I should be in a guest bedroom right now. Being with him is too tempting, too hurtful. But, I would be miserable if I was alone right now.

It brings me back to when we got in the crash. Vinnie played me his song, Cavity. I wonder if he sees me as a cavity to his broken tooth, or the filling to make it better again—the braces and retainer to his crooked smile.

I don't fucking know. I must be going crazy trying to figure out what tooth analogy makes up our relationship. I lay there, looking at him over my shoulder, feeling a crook start to form in my neck.

Does he still feel sad and lonely? Am I enough to not make him feel that way anymore?

I turn over and reach my hand out, hovering over his shoulder. I can't bring myself to touch him. It's not that fucking hard. All I have to do is lower my hand two inches.

I go slowly and make the slightest movements towards him. I'm scared to let him back in. When you let someone in, they have the power to hurt you. John Green wrote, "you don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you."

I was too insecure in the past to weed out the bad apples and pick the ripe one. But I know that it's Vinnie. I am happy with my choices.

I lower my hand and touch his shoulder. He immediately turns around and faces me. He takes my hand in his and kisses the back of it.

V: I was waiting for that. I thought your arm would start to get tired soon.

He saw me. He felt me. He knows me. He was waiting for me. That's all I could ask for.

He takes it slow and inches a tiny bit closer. I do the same. I tangle my other hand in his hair, immediately feeling him relax under my touch. He brings my hand up to his mouth again and kisses it. He keeps our hands there as he looks at me. His pale brown eyes look so beautiful as the light in the hallways hits them from under the bedroom door.

I stare into his eyes as I close the space between us. He holds my gaze for a few more seconds before wrapping me into his hard chest. His t-shirt smells like him and the body I love is under it. I put my hand on his lower stomach, feeling his abs flex at my touch. Then I wrap my arm around his waist, accepting his hug.

I don't know how long we stayed like that because I closed my eyes, letting myself be vulnerable around him. I wasn't crying, but I wasn't smiling, either. I was just content and relaxed in his embrace.

—

*Vinnie's POV*

I know you must be tired of hearing from me, but I have to tell you what I'm thinking.

I don't like to gossip or tell other people about my love life. I did with Jordan and Maddie, but look at how that ended up. So, I have you.

I hold Y/n in my arms, feeling her breathe softly as she hugs me. She's asleep and she has been for about an hour. She's smart. She should be sleeping, it's 8am. We never wake up that early and we didn't sleep all night. But, I can't bring myself to close my eyes.

I keep looking at her face and the way her eyelashes hang off her lids. They flutter every so often, so I know she's dreaming. I wonder what it's about.

I could close my eyes because whenever I do, she's there too. I can't help but to think about her. But she looks so beautiful and peaceful that I just can't risk waking her up or missing a second of it. So, I lay awake, watching her.

I know it sounds kinda creepy. Maybe to the average person it is. But when you're so in love with someone that it scares you more and more every day, sometimes it's nice to just look at them and not have to hear their words or see their expressions.

I plant a kiss on the top of her head. Her hair smells like her conditioner. I love that smell. I missed that smell, even if it was just for a few hours.

Some might say I'm overreacting and that it was less than a quarter of a day, so I should stop. But I can't. It was the scariest five hours of my life. We're strong enough to come back five hours after a big fight and work it out. We still have some fine tuning to do, but that will take some time and energy.

I have to pick up Hera in 3 hours. Should I sleep for even one? I feel Y/n shuffle under me, then settle with her head in my neck, taking a deep breath in and pausing before letting it out.

She just smelled me in her sleep. I can't go to sleep. What if I had missed that? A smile plays at her lips as she savors my scent. I'm so glad I showered again. Her smile almost brings tears to my eyes. She finds comfort in me. She trusts me enough to fall asleep in my arms so intimately.

I don't want her to wake up and see me exhausted, though. We have so much to talk about today. I don't want her to think that my mind was running all night. It wasn't. I'm doing the opposite right now. I'm watching, observing. I'm not driving myself crazy with my thoughts and fears for our conversation later, but I am calm because I'm with her.

So, I let myself close my eyes. I tighten my hold on her so she doesn't try to leave again, and I go to sleep.

____________________________________
A/N: I love switching POVs. Is it too much, though?

There were so many references in this chapter. I hope you understood them.

I started reading actual books again. All my energy goes into writing and schoolwork, so I haven't actually read anything for fun in a long time (even on Wattpad).

I highly recommend Penelope Douglas. I just read a 470 page book in three days (it would normally take me weeksss) and I read one of her 300-something page books in 36 hours. I'm obsessed. Good plots, kinda taboo for some of them though. Great smut. Punk 57 is really good, and Credence is really intense, but really good as well. She has two series too and some other books.

Dirty Letters by Vi Keeland and Penelope Ward is like the adult version of Punk 57 and I loved that too.

Anyways, I thought I'd put y'all on.

Again, not sure when I will update. But, I wrote this all in a few hours so enjoy!!

I got really tan on the beach today, too. 😌 I love it

I'll see you in the next one. Love y'all. Ok, bye🙄😫