Moving In - A Vinnie Hacker Story

Moving In S3 Pt2 - Welcome to New York

I put on one of my old happy time playlists on the train. C'mon by Kesha, followed by Time of Our Lives by Mr Worldwide 305. Then it switched to Panoramic and Red Nose by Sage the Gemini and Ayy Ladies by Travis Porter. I felt like a bad bitch trying so hard not to turn up in my seat.

Who the fuck let us listen to that music in middle school? They had us shaking ass, but really just shaking bones to songs that couldn't have been worse for some 10-14 year olds.

I didn't care, though.

The playlist took another turn to some classics. Literally, Classic by MKTO came on. I used to love that song so much.

But, the flight was coming to an end and I needed one last song to tie me over until landing. Party in the U.S.A came on. Perfect, right?

No! So fucking far from perfect.

"I hopped off the plane at LAX, with a dream and my cardigan."

The opening of a song that brings almost everyone I know in America so much joy and nostalgia just brought me back to reality.

I'm not getting off the plane at LAX with a dream and a cardigan. That's what I did two years ago. I had this vision for myself to be a great student, fuck around, get my degree, hook up with someone random, get a job, and figure the rest out later.

Here I am now. I just got on a plane at LAX to leave my dream behind. I'm back home. That was never a part of the plan. I was a great student, I fucked around a little bit, I did not get my degree, I did hook up with someone random who is part of the reason why I'm back home now, and I did not get a job.

I didn't even have time to think about figuring the rest of it out because the little bit of my dream that I did achieve took away my chances of doing the others.

If someone would have told 12th grade me that I'd have gone to court against my ex-best friend and my ex's best friend because they tried to kill me, I would have laughed in their face.

If someone would have told me that I'd date a "famous" TikToker and go to parties with a bunch of 20 year old millionaires, I would have laughed in their face.

If someone would have told me that I had to come back home to avoid an unnecessary psych holding set up my my best friend, mother, therapist, and boyfriend, I would have laughed in their face. But, I would also wonder why. Why did that happen? How did I get there? Is LA really that crazy?

I've lived in one of the biggest cities in the world for most of my life. How could I survive New York to the point that I just get fucking bored and not last even through college in LA?

I'm too deep in my thoughts.

This always happens. It's not healthy. Maybe this is why I'm home. Nah, this happens to everyone. Everyone overthinks and freaks out sometimes. Everyone has moments when they need to let go and be alone. No one is supposed to walk in on that.

They're supposed to let you have the time to have your breakdown moment, clean yourself up, and then they can see you.

Clearly, they did not get the memo. Now I'm stuck in some bullshit and seemingly can't get out.

Whatever, I'm done with this. I thought that giving music another chance would help, but boy was I wrong.

I hit skip and Welcome to New York by Taylor Swift came on. Good God, is someone trying to torture me.?? Shouldn't my phone know that I don't want to be here? Shouldn't it know that this is not my first time here and this is not a very warm welcome??