Moving In - A Vinnie Hacker Story

Moving In S2 Pt23 - Touch

*Vinnie's POV*

I followed Y/n's car back to the house. I've never been so elated in my life. To think that an hour ago, I was laying on the beach, looking at the stars and contemplating whether or not I would make it through this— if we would make it through this.

The only important thing is that she loves me. I've never loved anything more in my life. The first time I played video games comes close, but she's above everything else.

A couple cars cut between my car and her car as we passed a pastry shop. I pulled off the side of the road, knowing that she couldn't see me. I park in front of the shop that is surprisingly open at 6 in the morning.

I have not gotten any sleep in 24 hours. I woke up around 6 yesterday for preparations for the party, and I've been driving around since 1:30. I'm exhausted, but I know that this bakery has strawberry shortcake and delicious cookies.

Giving gifts is not my love language, or whatever the fuck Y/n was trying to teach me about the other day. It's not acts of kindness or words of affirmation, either. The two of us swear by physical touch. A little hug here, a little kiss there, a hand on a shoulder or thigh or back or hand. Even just brushing our legs together let's me know that she's there. She's with me, and I'm with her.

I guess that's why I don't like to be touched by other people. If I don't love them romantically or if they're not family, it just feels wrong. Some friends are as close as family, so I don't necessarily mind hugging them, but I don't give my affection to everyone, because that sends mixed signals.

I remember in high school, I was talking to a girl for awhile. She was beautiful, nothing like Y/n, but pretty in her own right. She barely even noticed me for a long time, and honestly I didn't really like her that much either.

But, I started complimenting her, something I guess not a lot of people did. She fell for me almost instantly. I'm sure that her love language was words of affirmation. I was okay with that too. I loved telling her how beautiful she was and how much I liked her and how much of a good person she was to others.

But, it fell apart. She only wanted to touch me if we were going to have sex. She was afraid almost to touch me in any other setting.

We never started dating because she was afraid of labels and she never touched me in public because she thought that I was gonna try and fuck her.

Clearly she didn't know anything about me. I keep to myself and I don't like to draw much attention. Having sex in the middle of the cafeteria would do that, but all I wanted to do was hold hands. At least fucking brush pinkies. I didn't want crazy PDA. I think that's tacky. I just wanted something to know that she was there and acknowledged me, but she hated that shit. So, it didn't work.

Y/n understands what it's like to be touched and need someone's touch. Fucking Jax was the same way. He only wanted to touch her when he wanted to fuck her. He didn't see any other reason for it, so she felt unloved.

As I purchase these baked goods, all I'm waiting for is to rush home and hold her in my arms. I just want to hold her. I don't need kisses. I don't need sexual contact. I don't need to fuck. I just need to hold her, then all my problems will fade away.

That's what love does. It knocks you down until you feel like you can't even breathe, like a ventilator is the only thing that will save you. But, it can also lift you up, and make you feel like you're flying over everyone and looking down with amazement.

I don't feel like I'm flying today, but luckily, I no longer feel like I'm on the ground. I'm climbing. I feel like Miley Cyrus, telling you it's the climb, but she wasn't wrong.