My Destiny (Jealousy Book 2)

Chapter 3 :Strong minds get over Anything...hopefully.

Destiny

Im woken by the alarm.

Ugh,
Im so hungover right now, and Brandon is fast asleep beside me.
I pull the covers off and pull off my blouse, heading for the shower.I need to wash last night off of me.Maybe I really shouldn't drink...the after feelings isnt all its cracked up to be, and ma ass feeling sore every where.
Passing the mirror in the bathroom, I stopped to analyze the dark bags under my eyes and the nest on my head.Shit, gruesome what Grey goose, yellow tail, vodka and a few shots can do to ya.Not much of a drinker but last night I was feeling judged and corner.

Never a good feeling when you feel that the world is judging you.And to think I was in pageants, literally being judged.
Maybe im just not use to that life anymore.0m

Clamming my breasts together, I realized they are sore.

"Oww!"I whisper, not wanting to wake bae.

Period is due in five days, and I swear I hate the before effects.Mood swings, sore breasts, eating.Ugh, I swear men have it easy.

I find myself examing my body in the mirror, from my breats, to the curves down my sides, to the scar in the middle of my stomach.Gosh I hate this scar!

Its such a fluent, frequent reminder of Nyjah...the exact thing, rather person, I do not want on my mind . Although I do wonder where he is, and how he is, and if he's seeking therapy or help in some way.I really just want the best for his crazy ass.Some times I think I'm a little fucked up in the head to want good for a man who tried to kill me and my child. Seven years needs to fade like seven months ago!
I don't love or even like the guy, but I do have respect for God, and I'm pretty sure he's gonna handle Nyjah in the best way suited.

I look away from the round, small spot , and continue into the shower.

After my shower, I dress in tan top and some shorts, no bra and my hair up in a high pony tail.I gotta go make breakfast and chill with my babies.

After frying up some hashbrowns, eggs and bacon, for Bran and I, I made the kids some cereal, coco pebbles , their favourite.

I sat Rizz in her baby seat and put Kyle's plate on his kiddies dining set and allowed him to feed himself...And the floor.

Whilst feeding Rizz, I found my self studying her . She was so calculating, and so much like her dad.Her hair was getting so long, her curls passed shoulder length and her brown eyes holding the longest eyelashes ever.Her light skin town just like her dad's.She was basically a girl Brandon. I wonder if my baby gonna grow to be so strong willed and Christian?
It ain't a bad thing...but she for sure gonna have ups and downs in her life more than others because of her expectations and beliefs...just like Bran and I.I just cant keep up...

I don't know how I'm gonna let him see that I do trust and love him, and respect him and wanna spend the rest of my days with him.I had set out to prove that to him, but what do I do? HOW do I show him that?He has everything in the world that he wants so it cannot be something material.
He knows I love him. ...wait...is that the problem?
Is it that even though I pressed that my NO had nothing to do with my love for him, is it thag he aint believe that?
But...if that's it, then, how else can I prove my love? I'm here with him, I do everything I outta to with a lil slip ups here and there.But besides that I think I prove I love him every day.

I honestly need to try alot harder, but when you have a heart and mind as tired as mine though.

"Maammyy, more!"Rizz fusses and I smile . She's so spoiled, and alot of stress too, but I guess my kids are the only stress I can manage these days.