Matters | JENSOO

Hanging

"Iced americano. Thanks Jennie." Jisoo couldn't stop grinning, Soojoo was right, it is nice to have a girlfriend. Well, I mean, a friend who is a girl. Like Jennie.

She was blushing.

"Come sit with us for a while." Jisoo offered.

She took the coffees to her friends., "From Jennie."

"Thanks Jennie!" said Bona.

"Thanks Rosé for the coffee." said Soojoo.

Jennie just smiled sarcastically to Soojoo. Is there any way to make her vanish? Like for good?

"Sorry to disturb your study time," Rosé said apologetically to the group, then she looked at Lisa, "I've missed her..."

"I feel so single right now." Taehyung mumbled.

"No worries, Rosé, we need a break. Stay with us for a while." Jinyoung replied.

"Yeah it's nice to see you both." Bona smiled at Jennie as they greeted each other.

Jennie took a seat beside Jisoo, the two were smiling at each other.

"Do you have any more work to do today?" Jisoo asked Jennie.

"No. I will go home after this." Jennie replied. They had been in contact intensely these couple of days, so Jennie proceeded with her daily duty of telling Jisoo about her day. Jisoo tried to listen attentively, but it was hard. Her eyes were exploring Jennie's face. To her pouting mouth when she complained about her professor, her sparkling squinted eyes and the wrinkles at their corners when she told Jisoo about her lunch; how her eyebrows raised and fell following the tone of her voice.

Jisoo noticed, especially that day, her porcelain skin was more radiant than ever, diffusing the intoxicating odor that Jisoo had always appreciated, had always tempted into.

It was just incredible. Jennie was too beautiful and somewhere in her chest was hurt just to see her. She adored the girl; and she adored her badly.

"Jisoo!"

"Cool!"

"You're not listening, aren't you? I was complaining about Kuma and it's not cool."

"Oh, sorry." Jisoo jolted upright, trying to focus her attention back on the conversation.

"What are you thinking about? Your mid semester exams?" Jennie asked worriedly.

"Uhm, yeah. Not really... But yeah." Jisoo looked away, slapping her face to get herself back to the present.

"Why are you acting weird?"

"I am not. It's just... a very nice iced americano, awaken... something in me."

Jennie pouted, "Do you want me to go now?"

"It's not-"

"Yes." Soojoo snapped from across the table.

"I mean, yes, if you want to." She added with a friendlier tone as if she was joking.

"Jisoo. Look at your friend. I gave her coffee but she just-" Jennie accelerated it.

"Do you want your coffee back, Jennifer?" Soojoo handed her cup to Jennie, "Here, take this back."

"Hey... hey... You two..." Lisa tried to break the clash of the girls.

"Soojoo... please..." Jisoo knew that Jennie shouldn't have brought up the coffee but Soojoo should've known better. She knew that Jennie didn't like it when Soojoo teased her, but she teased Jennie on purpose, knowing exactly how Jennie would've reacted.

Soojoo just sighed heavily, she put away her cup and went back making notes on the paper.

"Alright. I'm taking Jennie outside. I'll be back later." Jisoo tried to keep it cool.

She took the grumpy Jennie outside, the weather was pretty nice that evening.

"You're not cold, are you?"

"I'm not." Jennie said sadly, "I know... I gave what I gave, I shouldn't have said that to Soojoo... Now it looks like I'm an asshole."

"Don't think about it too much. They already get used to the two of you bickering." Jisoo grinned.

"I feel bad. I like your friends. I just want them to like me back."

"They like you. Don't worry." Jisoo assured her.

"Are they, though..." Jennie was sceptical.

"Yes. You just need to open yourself more to them. I mean giving us coffee was a nice gesture but maybe they just wanted to have a good conversation with you."

Jennie realised that she had been too focus on Jisoo whenever she joined the dorks; she interacted just enough with them. Well, she could blame Soojoo for that since she was always too busy gatekeeping Jisoo from her naughty hands and so she failed to pay attention to the others.

But she knew she could do better.

"I see." she didn't like the fact that Jisoo pointed it out.

"Hey... hey... don't worry.. All good..." Jisoo cupped Jennie's cheeks with her palms. The contact was light, barely touch.

Her wish was Jennie's command.

All worries had gone along with all thoughts; her brain was left vacant. The peaceful rhythm of her heartbeat was replaced by something exhilarating, running dangerously, wildly.

Jisoo immediately removed her hands from Jennie, she took a deep breath.

Jennie resumed her breathing. Slowly.

And that moment Jennie realised that Jisoo was right.

It was right not to kiss her that night.

It was right for Jisoo to restrict herself from holding her hands too often, for too long.

Just a little more push and they wouldn't be able to contain it anymore; not even Jisoo, she wouldn't be able to contain it anymore.

"Sorry." she heard Jisoo's raspy voice. Rough at the edge.

"Yeah."

For a while they were completely silent, until Rosé came outside.

"Hey... I'm going home now."

"Alright. I'm going back too." Jennie turned to Jisoo, staring at her shoes instead, "Jisoo. I'm going back. Take care."

"Thanks for the coffee, Jennie. Thanks for stopping by, Rosé."

"Tell my girlfriend not to go home too late, okay?" Rosé smiled.

Jisoo smiled back. She smiled at Jennie who was still looking down to her shoes. Her eyes were following her walking away from the library, until she couldn't see her anymore.

Then there it was again, the same pathetic feeling of missing Jennie. Just a second after seeing her.

Because there was nothing that can make a space felt emptier than wanting someone to be always around.

***