and then people change;phan

Nightmare

A/N HELLO THIS IS IMPORTANT! THIS CHAPTER MAY BE TRIGGERING AS IT CONTAINS DOMESTIC ABUSE, DYSPHORIA AND MENTIONS OF MEDICATION! PLEASE BE SAFE 🌸

Dans P.O.V

All 4 of us walked back to our apartment building. Phil had moved in two Floors below us. I lived floor 4, apartment 6. PJ and Chris live next door in apartment 5 and Phil lived at floor 2 apartment 11. Funny eh?

I said goodbye to Phil, walked up to floor 4 with PJ and Chris, said goodbye to them and then walked into my small and lonely apartment. I spent about 2 hours on my phone: replying to texts from from family, replying to tweets and Browsing tumblr. I check the time. 1:26am damn it's late...

I pull myself out of bed, brush my teeth and take my medication. Reluctantly, I pull off my jumper, socks and look in the mirror. I sighed. Here goes nothing.

I unbotton my shirt and throw it onto my bed. I rip off my jeans and put them in the same place. I stare at myself in disgust. My body is covered in bruises and scars. I stare at myself. All I was wearing were my boxers and my binder.

I sigh as I pull on my pajama shirt and shorts. I put my headphones in and hit shuffle on my phone. A tear rolls down my cheek as I lay my head on my pillow to try and sleep. Eventually, I drifted away.

~

I was sat in a bedroom I knew all too well. The guy I was supposed to love approaching me. I look down at my naked body. My breasts made me sick to look at.

"You think this is funny Lucy? Pretending to be a fucking tranny? You do realise this is really embarrassing for me?!" He screamed and he hit me. Blood began trickling down my cheek but I stayed on the ground. He dragged me up and layer me down on the bed.

"Look down" he said. I shook my head and he hit me again "look at your body Lucy!" I looked down and saw my boobs, girly hips and everything else. I felt like crying. The bruises and wounds didn't bother me. It was my body.

"Lucy I swear to god if you ever play fancy dress and school or ANYWHERE I will hit you harder than I ever have you weird whore!" He went into the bathroom and I remained still lying naked on the bed.

"Gabe... I..." I managed to choke out. Before I could continued, he slapped me and threw me to the ground. He began kicking me and he just... wouldn't.... stop.

~

"STOP!" I yelled. I woke with a start and bolted upright. My breathing was heavy and my heart was beating so fast... It was just a nightmare... Just another nightmare.

Suddenly, Chris and PJ came running into my apartment (they have a key incase of emergencies).

"DAN! Are you okay?" Gasped Chris. PJ leaped into my bed and hugged me to calm me down. They both new about my nightmares and everything that happened when I was 17.

"Y-yeah... Just another... N-nightmare" I stuttered in between breaths. Chris handed me a bottle of water. "W- what time is it?"

"About 4:30" PJ replied still sat next to me in my bed.

"G-Good. C-Chris... could you p-pass me my medication p-please?... It's just th-there" I stuttered gesturing to the table where my anxiety, testosterone and insomnia medication was.

This had become a regular thing now... I didn't know my emotional wounds were still open...

A/N so secrets are being revealed! For a cute pastely baker, Dan has a pretty dark history 😭 I hope you enjoyed this chapter 🌸