Thought of You (z.m)

Chapter 29 [Edited]

Just by hearing all this, I know she will be an excellent mother. The way she was so fond of children, I can’t help but wonder if I would be as good a parent as her. Or if I see myself going along this path with her. I know it’s only been about a month but... it feels so special.

‘Who will be the father of these children?’ I found myself saying in  a quiet voice.

‘You!’ She giggled. 

‘You want me to be your husband?’ 

‘Of course! Zayn Jawadd Malik and Clara-Rose Fleming foreverrrrrrrr!’ She giggled once more.

A month into our relationship and we’re already talking about forever, even though one half was drunk. I just hope it does last forever though. I don’t care about anything else right now. I don’t care about the fact that we have to go on tour soon, or about the fact that I have to leave her behind right now. All I care about is the fact that I get to keep her, forever. Forever being right now. 

‘Okay.’ I laughed slightly. ‘Come on, baby. We’re here.’

‘Carry me!’ She said with her hands up in the air. 

I rolled my eyes but got out to get her anyway. I lifted her up, making sure that the hem of her dress doesn’t go up too high. She nested her head in the crook of my neck. I heard sigh, contentedly.

‘Zayn, you’re the most amazing guy in the world. I hope you don’t break up with me.’ She murmured. I kept walking but i did have a frown of confusion on my face. Why is she saying this? Was it because of what I said yesterday?

‘I never will, Rose.’ I whispered back.

‘Zayn, don’t break up with me the way Christian did.’ Her voice was so small.

It broke my heart to know that her heart was once broken. Her small voice made me wonder how much he actually broke her just so he could pray the price. My blood began to boil at the thought of what he did Rose, my Rose. It also made me wonder why he’s back now. 

‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ And I meant it. Every word, every syllable, every letter. I meant it with my life. I would never ever ever hurt her the way Christian did. Hell, I would never hurt her at all.

‘Please don’t.’ She said in a small voice before kissing the base of my neck and falling asleep in my arms.

I opened the door of her apartment and walked straight to her room. I laid her gently on the bed before stripping her of her shoes. I then walked to her wardrobe and picked out one of the many shirts she’s stolen from me and walked back to her. I unzipped her dress and put on the shirt over her head. I laid her back down and tugged the duvet over her. She looked content as she slept.

I stripped off my shoes and my clothes, and left myself in my boxers and got in next to her. I didn’t fall asleep straight away, i just stayed awake with my head against her headboard. I didn’t want to go to sleep. 

My eyes scanned her dimly lit room, illuminated by her bedside table lamp. My eyes landed on a book beside her. I picked it up and looked at the title. Looking for Alaska. Her reading is one of the most attractive thing I could ever find in a girl. A girl who can read, who enjoys reading makes her all the more the most beautiful girl inside and out. She’s better than those bimbo girls I used to date. She’s better than anyone I’ve ever met.

Opening the book and flicking through the pages starting from the back, I found out she highlighted a few lines. Stopping on one of the pages, I read one of the lines she highlighted. 

When you stopped wishing things wouldn’t fall apart, you’d stop suffering when they did.

It amazed me of how in depth she was. How wise she got at highlighting lines like this. I flicked more through more of the pages when I came across a whole paragraph that she circled. It was something about someone wanting to sleep with her, in the most platonic way possible, about how the girl was beautiful and that he wasn’t. And on the side was a little message: a love that is most desired but is rarely ever acquired.

And just reading that and looking at her, I realised that that paragraph is exactly what I wanted to do, what I always want to do while she’s asleep. I always want to pull her in my arms, feel her head in the crook of my neck, feel her breath on my chest, feel her hold my arms, feel our legs tangled in one another’s. I never just want to have sex with her, I just want to hold her whenever she’s asleep.

So, unlike the guy in the book, I did exactly that. I wrapped my arms around her waist, guided her head to the crook of my neck, familiarise her deep breathing, smile at her hands holding my arms and tangled our legs. My heart fluttered at how she felt so right in my arms. 

‘I think I’m starting to fall, Rose.’ I murmured quietly, knowing that she’s completely passed out. ‘And I’m scared.’

And with that, I closed my eyes with a faint smile on my lips and fell asleep.

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A/N

I don’t know whether to laugh at the cheesiness of that or to be proud of myself at how good that all came out. 

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Mwahbebssssssss

-Winona