untold

THIRTY SIX

"Holy shit man," Riccardo hissed as he grabbed his head, looking over at Leo, "You trying to kill us?"

"Cardo you ok?" Mattia asked as he reached over to him, Riccardo turned his head over to us, nodding. He turned back to his phone where he acted like nothing happened. I look over to Mattia confused, something had to be wrong. Leo never acted like this sure he was mean and everything, but he would never, trust me, never risk putting his family in danger.

Mattia most likely had a mirror image of my look on his face, that being confused. He slowly shook his head before taking out his phone, texting someone.

"Leo when we get there stay in the car, i'll check us in and come get you when everything is ready," Mattia reassured. We pulled up to the building, it was smaller than the other one but still looked nice. Just as Leo parked Mattia quickly hopped out going inside, Riccardo did the same leaving me here.

"Are you ok?" I whispered as I climbed into the front seat, where Riccardo was sitting. He look at me and scoffed, he reached over and opened the compartment in from of where I was seated. It was a mess in there, with loads of papers crumbled up and scattered around. It looks like there where also a few guns, it honestly looked like a tornado came through it.

He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, he lit it and rolled his window down about half way.

"I didn't know you smoked," I said as I watched him inhale it keeping it in his system for a second then blowing out the smoky air as he put his hand out the window, holding the cigarette between his fingers.

"Sometimes," He answered taking another breath of it. I coughed as I got a smell of it, I looked away as I rolled my window down scooting closer to it to try and get some fresh air.

"Have you been feeling alright lately?" I asked him, it was hard to tell but he for sure wasn't acting like his normal self.

"I don't want to see Angelo," He answered truthfully, "And I don't want him to see you, or any of the others," I frowned at his answer, looking over at him.

"Why?" I whispered, if I was being honest I didn't want to know, I just felt like he needed to tell someone to stop holding it in. I didn't want to know because Angelo had been nothing but nice to me, I knew what he was going to say with something about his childhood. I don't think Angelo treated him very good, at least that what he told me when he completely lost control and dragged me up to my room a while ago.

"He was a shitty dad, didn't care about anyone but himself after mom left," He paused before taking a deep breath, "I don't really know what it was but he throught he was the only one feeling pain from it, like all of us were incapable of feeling it to. It was a while ago, I was only about 12 and he would be gone all the time. Sandy took over as our parent, she would be in charge of doing everything mom did." He took a pause again as he took another intake of the cigarette.

"He started to involve me in the Mafia, making me do shit like torture people, or watch him do it which is pretty fucked up. When he got taken, I didn't know what to feel, part of me was relived that I could maybe get a break and just live, but I was next in line and had to take over the business. I honestly wanted to leave, to run away and just leave this life behind. I had enough money thats for sure. It was selfish of me, to just leave the rest to fend for themselves while I left."

"I honestly though it was the best thing to do, so I did. I was gone for about a month before I returned, the house was a mess. Sandy looked exhausted having to take care of them herself. Matteo also did," He said, shaking his head as what i'm guessing was disappointment. In himself.

Thats one of the worst things, knowing you failed yourself. Knowing you did something that you look back on and are just so embarrassed and disappointed about. It is sadly a feeling that I feel all the time, disappointed that I didn't fight back. Disappointed that I didn't tell someone. Disappointed that I failed the only person I truly cared about, my mom.