My hater, my lover [Hyunin AU]

Chapter 11

Chapter 11


“C'mon! Just relax okay? Everything is going to be fine! Trust me. And you’re just going to perform, nothing else. So calm down. You will do great later, that’s for sure.” Felix keeps on sending encouraging words to Jeongin to calm his nervousness but the latter seem to be really nervous that he don’t know what to do anymore.


He’s really like this whenever he’s going to perform, he is always nervous.


Jeongin keeps on taking deep breath to calm himself down. But it’s not helping. They will be performing later and he’s really nervous.
“C'mon Jeongin! Just relax! You can do it!” San patted him on his shoulder with an assuring smile in his lips.


But no matter how many encouraging words he received from others, he just can’t seem to calm down.


Jeongin fetch his phone from his back pocket before unconsciously looking for Hyunjin’s number in his contact. He doesn’t know why but he’s seeking for Hyunjin’s presence right now. It seems like he is the only one who can bring peacefulness to him amidst the chaos inside his mind right now.


“I’ll just go out first. I need to calm down.” Jeongin informed Felix before stepping out of the club room.


He’s unconsciously walking around the university without any direction. Until he just found himself standing in front of Hyunjin’s classroom.


He tried to take a peek inside, obviously looking for Hyunjin but it seems like he’s not there.
“Oh! You’re Jeongin right? From the music club?” one of the student from Hyunjin’s class approached him.


“Ah, yeah.” Jeongin answered timidly.


“Are you looking for Hyunjin?” She asked that made him surprised.


“Um… no, not really—


“Hey! C'mon! You don’t have to he shy! I’ll keep it a secret.” She said cutting him off, then she leaned closer towards him before whispering, “Hyunjin is not here. I think he have a photoshoot today.”


Jeongin nodded his head, feeling disappointed all of a sudden. “Ah! Is that so? Then… I should get going. Thank you.” He said before turning his back at her.


Jeongin went straight to the bench he saw while walking. He doesn’t even know why he’s disappointed where in fact, he should have expected this to happen. Hyunjin never fulfilled his promises. He always break them. Intentionally or unintentionally.


Jeongin blows a loud breath.


“That’s a deep one.” Someone said from behind.


Jeongin stood up to look who was the owner of the voice, when he saw a familiar looking man, he thinks this guy is Seungmin? If he’s not mistaken, this is the guy Felix was talking about the other day. The one who’s good at playing baseball.


Seungmin smiled at him before giving him a pat in the shoulder. “I know this is the first time we talk and we don’t personally know each other but I just want to wish you good luck. I heard that you’re from the music club and you’re performing later, so… good luck!” he even gives him a thumbs up.


Jeongin doesn’t even realize that he’s already smiling with this guy he barely knows. “Thank you.” Is all he could say.


“I’ll be watching later—


Seungmin's words were cut off when his phone rang. He fetch it from his pocket before blowing a loud breath.
“What is this man wants from me again?” Seungmin mumbled before looking at him apologetically. “Sorry but I need to answer this. Good luck again!” Seungmin then went off while talking to someone on his phone.


Jeongin took a deep breath once again before finally decided to go back to the music club.


×××

“Why are we even here?!” Changbin whined as they step inside the university entrance.


“Because Hyunjin invited us here. This is an open event anyways. And you don’t have anything to do! Also, I want to relax from my stressfull work.” Minho said while still dragging Changbin by the hand.


“Stressfull my ass! What’s being so stressful about being a chef? Isn’t it relaxing because you are in front of different delicious foods almost everyday?” Changbin said, eyes were sparkling with the mention of foods.


“I am not you who can’t live without food.” Minho spitting the fact.


“Yah! No one can live without foods! That’s why there’s a saying that goes 'food is life!’ haven’t you heard about that?”


“Just shut up and follow me.”


“You’ve been dragging me since we get off the car, maybe you want to lift me too?”


“I don’t wanna die yet!”


“Hey! Are you saying I’m heavy?”


“I never say that.”


Some students are looking at them. Some are even looking at them funny, while some keeps on giggling.


“You really like drawing attention.” Minho said after noticing the students' stares.


“Yah! You contributed to it also!” Changbin said making Minho shook his head.


“Where is the auditorium anyways?” Minho mumbled to himself after finally realizing that they’d been walking around without knowing their direction.


“Goodness! Don’t tell me you came here dragging me without knowing where to go? Seriously! Are you that stress in your work?”


“Shut up! Let me call Hyunjin.” Minho said before letting go of Changbin to fetch his phone from his pocket.


But the other line just keeps on ringing and no one is answering.
“Is he even coming?” Changbin asked.


“I don’t know! He just asked me to go here so I did.” Minho answered before putting his phone back.


“Let’s just ask the students. I know for sure that they know where the auditorium is.” Changbin suggested and that’s what they did.


After a while, they finally saw what they’d been looking for.
“Finally we’re here!” Changbin almost collapse on his knees because of tiredness.


“You’re getting older.” Minho said while looking at him with pity.


“Wow! Coming from you?”


Minho almost lost his patience. Why did he even bought this man with him?


×××

Tzuyu's performance just ended and he is the next to perform. His nervousness doubled when his name was called on the stage.


“It’s okay! You can do it Jeongin! Just do what you did during practice.” He uttered to himself.


He sat in front of the piano. He didn’t even dare to look at the crowd’s direction because he’s sure his nervousness would triple if he do so. Jeongin tried to focus his gaze on the piano, shutting the audiences off.


He took a deep breath before starting to play his piece.


The sound of the piano invaded his ears as he starts to sing.


“It’s amazing how you
Can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word
You can light up the dark


Try as I may, I could never explain what I hear when you don’t say a thing”


His mind starts to go blank as he feels jittery. He was so tensed up that he can even see his hands shaking. He’s getting anxious in front of people’s stares. He felt so uneasy in every passing second.


“The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me
Wherever I fall—


He stopped. He don’t know why but his mind is not functioning well. He forgot the lyrics of the song he is singing. And from that moment, he can hear people whispering adding up to the anxiousness he is feeling.


Jeongin doesn’t want to look at the crowd but his head slowly rose up, and he was welcomed by the crowd’s confused looks. Some are even laughing while taking a video of him.


He feels like crying while looking at them.


He saw his other members trying to cheer him up but he seems to be blinded by the people’s eyes full of judgement while looking at him.


He just wants to run away and hide somewhere, to avoid their stares, so he can’t hear their whispers. Until his eyes landed on that person he never expected to be there. Watching his performance with a proud smile on his face.


He’s far from where he is but he can see him, clearly. Like he is the only one he is seeing right now, disregarding all those people in front of him.


He’s just seeing him. Just Hyunjin.


“You can do it!” he mouthed and Jeongin felt like floating.


He just found himself playing the piano once again. His stares are only fixed at Hyunjin who is also looking at him.


“All day long I can hear
People talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd

Try as they may, they can never define
What’s been said between your heart and mine”


He’s just looking at Hyunjin the whole time he is singing.


Jeongin is just thankful that his performance finally come to an end.


“Good job Jeongin! You still did great!” his whole club members praised his performance but even him is not satisfied at all. He didn’t expect it to end up like that. He just messed up their whole performance. All of his members did a great job, except him. He did worst actually.


“Jeongin-ah! Congrats!” Felix messed his hair while Han tapped his shoulder.


“You did great Jeongin! I’m so proud of you.” Han said to at least lighten up his cousin’s mood but he’s not even smiling.


“Excuse me first. I’ll just go to the restroom.” Jeongin made an excuse to be alone by himself.


He doesn’t want anyone to see him like this. He feels so embarrass about what happened earlier that he want to escape from everybody.


Felix blows a loud breath. “Let him have some alone time with himself. He will be okay soon.”


“I hope so…” Han mumbled while looking at his cousin’s retreating back.


×××

Jeongin actually went to the rooftop. At least he’s alone here. No one will see him, he can cry as much as he wants.


The moment he closed his eyes, tears started to fall on his cheeks. Even the cold breeze can’t calm him down. It's just making him feel bad even more.


He tried his hardest not to utter a sob but there’s still one that escaped his lips.


“Why are you crying?” A very familiar voice invaded his ears.

Jeongin didn’t turn around to face him, he just continue crying silently, until he felt Hyunjin’s hand slowly grabbing his arms to make him look at his direction.


Jeongin immediately hang his head low. He doesn’t want him to see this side of him.


“Why are you crying?” he asked once again.


But Jeongin just continued sobbing, ignoring his question.


Hyunjin blows a loud breath, pulling Jeongin closer to him. He felt that his hands were cold, so he slid Jeongin’s hands in each side of his hoodie's pocket to warm them. Then, he envelop him into a tight hug, hoping it could make him feel better.


As Jeongin felt Hyunjin’s warmth, he just broke down.


His sobs became louder that it invaded the whole place. While Hyunjin stayed silent the whole time, tapping his back and head from time to time.


“Stop crying already.” Hyunjin whispered in a very gentle voice.


In that moment, Jeongin felt like sharing what he feels to Hyunjin.
“I messed it up! I messed the whole performance.” He said in between his sobs.


“Is that why you’re crying?” Hyunjin asked and Jeongin answered with a nod. “Hey! You did a great job!”


“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”


“Of course not! My baby bun did a great job! You did well!” Hyunjin said tightening his embrace to Jeongin.


“My performance is bad.”


“Listen to me… you did well! You’re so good okay? Don’t listen to them, just listen to me.” Hyunjin whispered and he felt Jeongin slowly moving his hands that are inside of his pocket to fully embrace him, making Hyunjin smiled secretly. His baby bun just wants some cuddle. “You are so great! Your voice is really beautiful! Ah! My baby bun is the best!” Hyunjin said easing Jeongin’s worries.


“Are you okay now?” Hyunjin asked after a moment of silence.


Jeongin just nodded his head.


“That’s good to hear. Stop thinking about what happened earlier.”


“Hmm… you can let go of me now.” Jeongin said making Hyunjin’s smile to disappear.


“But I still want to hug you.”


“Just let go of me already!”


“But Jeongin!”


“Let go.”


Hyunjin was left with no choice but to let go of Jeongin.


“Tch! You didn’t even thanked me!”


“I was just about to say thank you but I changed my mind.” Jeongin said rolling his eyes at him.


But instead of being mad, he’s actually happy. Finally! His baby bun is really okay now.


Hyunjin gave him a pat in his head. “I’m happy you’re okay now.”


Jeongin gave him a small smile. He actually felt a lot more better now. And it’s all thanks to Hyunjin.


But it also kinda scares him. Hyunjin can easily bring happiness to him. But he can also be the reason for his greatest pain.

×××

They don’t have any class today so Jeongin just decided to chill inside their apartment by watching movie.


Han is busy preparing for his OJT for tomorrow, while Felix is in the kitchen, maybe he’s baking again. He’s so into desserts this past few days that he suddenly wants to learn baking. His cousin’s are just a bunch of weirdos. The other one doesn’t even know how to cook— he doesn’t even know how to fry an egg yet he decided to took up culinary arts, while the other one just suddenly decided to learn how to bake.


Jeongin shook his head because of his sudden thoughts.


He is fully okay now after his failed performance yesterday. He already moved on. He will just do better next time.


Hyunjin keeps on messaging him nonstop, saying he just wants to check him up if he’s really okay. He’s just so stubborn! He only stop sending messages when Jeongin finally said he’s sleepy.


But he appreciates that he just really wanted to make sure he’s okay.


Jeongin is busy watching the movie when Felix came barging into the living room while holding his phone, there’s even a flour on his face. He looks like a mess.


“What happened to you?” Jeongin asked with knotted eyebrows.


“Have you seen the article?” Felix asked.


“What article?”


“This article.” Felix then handed him his phone.


Jeongin felt like he was struck by a lightning as he read the article.


“Hyunjin was seen going out with a man this past few weeks. Check out the photos below as an evidence.”

"What the hell is this?!"