Shield

29.- Dinner Party For 2.

A world of fire opens in front of you, at your feet a sea of stoic, almost concrete gray flowers unbothered by the burning breeze that stings your eyes and throat. Tears stream freely down your ashen cheeks trying to refresh your dry eyes, hands full of red coals you can't let go of melting delicate, sizzling palm skin, you can't ketch your breath and your head feels pressured between a tight clamp.
The walls of this enclosed hellish room melt slowly like molten lava lazily using yet suspended not touching the ground, folding over itself like a faulty wax lamp.
There is a hospital bed framed by the same defiant gray flowers, guardians of its pristine white sheets untouched by this staining nightmare.
Nel took a step forward feeling her feet trapped in viscus mud, the sucking sound of freedom follows each step closely, leaving hungry gaping mouths of unheard screaming as she moves forward, her melting hands outstretched for balance, she refuses to breathe.
A whisper came from under the small angelical pool of White cotton in front of her, it should be drowned by the cackling laughter of burning things, but she hears it, it echoes inside her as the gentlest of morning dews "soft," it whispered, "you are so soft..." Nel tried to swallow past the lump of melted brass that choked her, she could not breathe, her body shook feeling phantom hands drag their cold and sweety fingers up and down her, under her clothed skin, under her protective barrier, outside of her control.
She shivered, pushing forward another step, her mouth opened, completely silent except for the suction of her feet that sunk deeper and deeper under the concrete lavender that took away no pain.
One step ahead and she finally reached the bed, the moment her palm touched the Surface of that bed it was spoiled leaving a heavy black mark on its pure surface, it stung the contact but Nel did not retreat, pulling on the sheet a sense of dread filled her, heart pounding in her ears, her opportunity to take a deep breath had passed when she refused to breathe and now all she could hear was her pulse racing and a whisper that swore it was "so soft".
Nel clenched her jaw, her hands' fists of coal and fire, her neck strained cocked to one side she stared down over the broken body of a small girl angry bruises in the shape of outstretched hands decorated her body in an almost organized pattern, her naked skin yellow and pale, longing for the Kiss of sun that would once more die it olive, she looked sickly her hair chemically burned in different balding parts, cut off in patches, she did not look like she was breathing, a thick metal collar fastened around her neck dug painfully in to it. Underneath her, a crimson stain was barely visible outlining her lower half.
The ugliness in front of her made Nel take one step back, she expected to be swallowed into the thick slime she had fought her way through, fall backward, and be drowned in the viscous decay that fed into the concrete flowers but it was firm. Her naked foot fell over a hard surface that cracked loudly under her weight, she looked down to see the garden gone, and under her a sterile hospital floor, cleaned and polished she could imagen the antiseptic smell.
The room was empty and blindingly white, only she was tarnished and black, covered in mud and soot, tears still streaming down her face she looked down upon the crushed skull of who once was known as Criss, his features gently crumbling into ash fairy sparks escaping the broken ember it held fast to her heal, she could not raise her leg that weighed a ton, it slowly crushed him, inch by inch as his eyes darted back and forth between her and the white emptiness in front of them. The glare of the lights intensified till blinded she closed her eyes taking one deep breath.
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Nel lazily opened her eyes, everything hurt, her mouth tasted of rancid blood, her hands tied tight behind her back and arms to the metal chair she was fastened to. As she drifted slowly into conciseness, she tried to wiggle a little which immediately let her know the chair was secured to the ground with no ease.
She could hear dripping water and a cheerful whistling, her eyes still out of focus, working with the precarious light source, her mind's eye drifted back to Criss sitting in Shuns back office in a similar position, the geography was different, but the setting was the same, should she try screaming while she still could? She liked her lips with a dry tongue and tried swallowing the dust in her throat.
"Oh god..." She whispered to herself as a silent prayer to an invisible force who could not care less.
A door behind her opened and the dull sound of footsteps entered the room, whistling of "row, row, row your boat" approaching her, surrounding her, right behind her.
"Good morning songbird, how was the nap? We were worried there for a moment you were sleeping too soundly."
Nel scuffed and tried a dry chuckle that stuck to the side of her throat throwing her in to a choking fit, as she gasped trying to catch her breath, she changed her one liner for a beg for water, the word croaked out almost as a whisper.
"Thirsty? Let me help." Nel inhaled sharply as a bucket of cold liquid was suddenly emptied on her head, it stung and stunned, pieces of ice impacting on her face and chest, some of it found its way down her throat and once more she choked for a few painful moments.
"Thanks," she coughed "Much better," her gasping words left her breathless and her now trembling body shook hard against the unforgiving metal that refused to shake with her.
"You are very welcome my pet, very welcome."
A gloved hand caressed her cheek softly, the latex slipping gently on the wet surface with tender "I have a surprise for you my white shadow, a special little gift."
Nel couldn't help but smile grimly, her bloodless lips barely curving as she shivered, even now she thought "what's with these guys and their stupid surprises, shit." her teeth jittering as she spoke "oh Butcher, boy yo... you sh... sh... shouldn't have bothered,"
He smiled his wide smile of white teeth and chaotic evil, blue eyes gleaming in the precarious lighting of the empty concrete room of copper stained floors "I know you are used to pampering, giddy dogs slobbering all over you and all that," he adjusted the straps of his rubber apron over his bare chest "Let's keep it up, shall we? I can't loose to no mange dog."
He walked past her to the end of the room completely engulfed in shadows, the half of Nel's face was swollen and her eye was puffy and everything had a halo, focusing was still something she had to do consciously by squinting, her head swaying from side to side as she tried to stay awake in her haze, but her eyelids where so heavy and closing them felt so good.
"Close your eyes," the butcher called to her "And no peaking, I will know if you are peaking,"
Nel let her lids fall shut and for a moment sighed feeling them burn in complete darkness, there was a sutheness to being on fire , and instantly she felt of drifting off her head hanging down deeper and deeper she felt something heavy balanced on her lap.
"I said close your eyes, not go to sleep, open them now!" The butcher commanded annoyed, pushing her head with his finger it bounced to one side.
Nel sighed and reluctantly opened her eyes once more trying to focus on the object on her lap , the weight sent pins and needles running up and down her numb legs that had fallen asleep in the restrained position, it itched and hurt.
"What is it?" she asked in a tired voice, she knew it was glass but could not make out what was in it.
"It's right," He exclaimed exited "you can't open your gift, well," he put a hand on his chest "let me."
He put the glass container on the ground, even more out of sight for it was directly at her feet and having her torso secured to the chair meant she could not inch forward to look down at it. Butcher took the top off of the container and a sickening sweet alcohol smell filled the room. Nel would have known it in her sleep. Formaldehyde.
"You shouldn't have bothered," Nel croaked once more as he dropped the cold, wet, severed head of her father gingerly in her lap "really butcher... you shouldn't have bothered."
Her body shook, not in fear or disgust but of the coldness that embraced her, half of her body made of fire half made of icy stone, her chest felt hollow.
"So?" the butcher almost sang "is it what you were expecting," his eyes widened drinking in the image of the small shaking frame, her wet skin for sweat or tears itching so fiercely for a reaction she could almost feel his expectancy like shockwaves.
"It is a surprise that's for sure... thank you. And it's not even mm...mmy...my birthday." she smiled tightly at him with blue lips and a dancing jaw.
The butchers smile was gone in an instant "you know?" he said sucking on his front teeth with a loud smack and spitting loudly on the ground "I don't really think you like it all that much, for what it's worth," he exhaled loudly tilting his head back slowly and cranking it to the side "I don t think you are being sincere."
He lowered his head once more, a cold icy gaze resting on her, lapis lazuli eyes softly squinting.
"I worked hard for your gift!" he shouted yanking her head forward so violently her neck popped loudly as she inhaled sharply, the present falling to the ground in a soft splat to promptly roll to the side, Emanuel's head staring at her with the same tired expression she had always known.
"Sorry, SORRY!" she cried out eyes wide in pain thinking to herself "he is going to kill me, I am actually going to die here"
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The butcher was furious, his normally clear blue eyes danced green in the yellow light that hung apathetically above them.
If only it could talk Nel thought squinting at it, she so begged for darkness, and in that moment remembering she was going to die she knew her plea would be answered soon enough.
"You women are all the same, you take, and you take, and you take but are thankful for nothing!" he sulked pointing at the fallen head with both hands "do you even care hard that was to get?"
"I said thank you," Nell choked out with a strained smile "I would not say it if I did not mean..." her words wear cut short by a hard blow to the side of her head that rocked her violently to the side, her body pressing hard against the metal chair that dug in to her flesh that curved around it, sending pain down her limbs in deep concentric circles that shook all reasoning out of her.
No sound came from her emptied lungs that had suddenly forgotten how to expand, she stayed completely still head hung low, eyes bulgingly staring at the ground.
"shhhh," the butcher said pressing his middle and ring fingers to his slips "you are so tough, everyone always says "the White shadow is so tough", but ya know?" he liked hi slips hungerly leaving a shimmering layer of thick saliva, glistening, "I think I can bring out the softness in ya," he smiled his wide toothy smile of white un sharpened fangs, he was a predator, a blue eyed demon.
After a few seconds of silence Nel let herself take in one slow, long breath that felt like needles, as she sat up straight eyes closed, a dignified pile of meat in a slaughter house.
She debated with herself about breaking the silence, distracting him with chit chat, decided there was no use, no one knew where she was or was even looking, Shun was probably still locked up cursing her out, Park was lost in butfuck who knew where and a new born kitten was more useful than Milo who was probably sulking over his lost boy toy. At least she would not waist her last words on pitiful negotiation or begging. Oh, how they loved when she begged.
A foul taste came to her mouth and Nel spat on the ground, thick and dark, more blood than saliva, she was convinced that if it were not for doctor J's prosthetic a few teeth would have gone out too by now.
The butcher stood in front of her, a tool belt resting gingerly on his hips like home, it belonged there just as naturally as a clever knife completed his dominant hand.
With all the delicacy of a first-time mother caring for her new born baby he cut open her shirt, exposing her blueish bruised skin to the fresh enclosed air, as he inched his joyful face closer to her shivering breasts she could feel his warm breath tikling her , she tried to move back, wiggle away in disgust and it only sent new pain cursing through her body, finding new corners to inhabit.
"here it is," he talked in to her chest "the only part of you still soft-" all Nell could see was the top of his head and how it moved closer in to her as he slowly bit down on to the soft flesh of her left breast, his lips where wet and warm, they wrapped around her in an open arch as his teeth clamped down increasing slowly but surely his bite become tighter and tighter, Nel gasped in pain as his teeth sunk first over and then in to the ripe skin, braking through patiently, Nel panted holding down fast in to the metal trying with all her stubborn might not to scream, as he suddenly jerked his head back and Nel watched in horror how he chewed thrice to then swallow, hi slips red.
Blood trickling down his chin and painting fresh marks on to his rubber apron, his teeth seemed impossibly white compared to the blood around them.
Nel breathed fast feeling sick, her body froze in tightened muscles, shock and pain. The world was still and she was on fire, every shallow fast breath hurt on her ribs and even the soft bouncing of a heaving chest burned on the missing gap of her breast.
Vivid images of random men heaving and falling over her, slapping, pinching and biting, legs ripped painfully opened to reveal a damaged shy sex interchangeable like coin in a foreign market.
Men and women using and disposing of her damaged body as they saw fit for the day, the week, the time being.
Feeling sick she tried to vomit, dry heaving over herself twice before thick, yellow, vile spewed out of her open mouth burning its way through her esophagus. It felt hot and thick over her thighs as the bitter taste and full smell overwhelmed her senses her body going perfectly still.
"I.." she growled, fear and desire to negotiate buried under her anger, the humiliation, an inexistent flight response. In her there was only fight, even if it was already lost it lived inside her, molded her to its rough shapes of sharp, jagged edges.
Once soft polished metal broken off to cutting edges of primal cut.
"You?" the butcher mocked "still playing tough?" he put his fists on his hips "you what? You Will kill me?" he cackled out loud " make me pay? All you have to do is get out of here and I will get what I got myself coming? I am trembling in my rubber boots."
"I... hate you SO much." Nel managed to hiss through clenched teeth "SO much...I know you don't care about trash like me... But I HATE YOU... SO... MUCH."
To this once more the butcher laughed out loud, there was no humor in the sound, it was biter and forced "fine tough girl, if I take away all softness you can be as tough as you want... Creatures like you have no need of softness "
As he moved forward Nel did not close her eyes, but stared straight in to his trying with all her might to be defiant, under his shadow the meat cleaver he held in his hand did not reflect the light, but to her and the halos in her unfocused vision it seemed to glow as a bright door out.
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"They cut her up!" Charlotte shrieked "threw her out like... Like trash, I barely recognized her Shun, I barely... I cant- please I can't! "
Shun dropped the phone as Park stared at him intently. All blood drained from his tired, worn, face he looked away gaze lost in the distance.
They had spent the last 4 days looking for Nel and the van that had abducted her from the deliberately caused car crash.
All hands-on deck, 3 districts working together, following shallow leads and scared whispers. In the end Charlotte had found her, or more exactly Nel had found Charlotte.
Nel's body had been thrown out of a moving car at 2 am in front of the love motel she was staying at, the receptionist had informed the owner when the loud ruckus of flesh braking through the glass doors had startled her.
Nel was rushed to the general hospital where, after pronounced dead an intern had identified her as an old friend. The poor girl was inconsolable, she had to be sedated to retrieve her from her hysteric state of thrashing and screaming, once under they had finally been able to pry the corpse out of her grasp.
"I have to go. " Shun said his cellphone forgotten on the ground the uncontrollable sobs of a woman hauntingly escaped the speaker "she's all alone there, I have to go. " Park rested his hand on his shoulder trying to stop him but he kept pushing forward "Man, hey, Shun. You can't drive." Shuns body trembled, unsteady on his feet "come on man I will go." he could not hear his brother "She's all alone there." he repeated "She hates it, I know she does".
Finally Park wrapped his arms around Shun and raising him from the ground said "stop! What the fuck do you think you are doing? There's nothing you can do now, stay here I will go."
He went limp in his arms, Park held on tight pulling him together "who was closer to her than me? Trust me, I will go." As he released the shell of the brother he had chosen Park stood by as he watched him fall apart.
As he drove to the hospital Park chewed on his thumb, he had eaten away the nail and it began to taste like coins, everything had gone to shit, all the months of planning, scheming and the perfect execution ruined by a fucking tantrum, they were dead, Emanuel and Nel, the only one left was Oli and Park preferred to be fucked up the urethra with a live porcupine before letting that ass whole take over their operation.
"fucking amateurs" he said out loud "Fuck!" he shook his head over and over not knowing what to expect.
As he pulled up to the hospital he gave a little prayer up in to the Holly Saint of lost un loved souls, mother Clara had thought it to him in the orphanage and it had stuck with him.
Fixing his tie and buttoning his jacket he took a last look at himself in the review mirror, his eyes blood shot and tired "pull it together , don't let her see you like this" he said out loud and closing the door behind him with a loud thud he walked in the building his head held high. Stating his business at the reception a worried nurse gave him instructions first to the morgue and later to the room where they had left Charlotte to get a grip of herself, he decided Nel's time was spent and she was going nowhere.
He opened the door softly, the examining room was cold and grim, on the bed sat Charlotte her face in her hands silently sobbing her body shaking, he closed the door loud enough to let her know he had entered but she did not look up "Babe?" he called out trying to sound sweet "Babe I'm here, are you OK? " she shook her head "Sorry, stupid question. Can you look at me please, it's hard to talk to you like this."
Charlotte raised her face, eyes red and swollen, cheeks splotchy of pink and purple, her lips puffy. He embraced her cradling her to him gentle but firm.
"I'm here babe, I got you, cry all you want ok, we don't have to talk" almost on queue Charlotte screamed burying her face in his shirt and loudly cried in till her throat was raspy and raw, her hands pully ant his jacket, in painful despair. Park could only think of Shuns words "She's alone, she hates it. "
Park found his way to the morgue on his own, he left Charlotte resting in the room, collapsed of exhaustion and a broken heart, he stole a glance at her as he exited the room feeling haunted by her open glazed over gaze. He took one deep breath and walked through the double doors, a middle-aged doctor accompanied him without a word and stopping in front of a metal table he signaled with his hand, before he could pull up the white sheet Park stopped him instinctively, his heart beating fast, the shape concealed by the fabric was too small, it resembled the size of a child more than a grown woman. Aware of himself he let go of the man's hand with a quick "Sorry, I'm ready".
With a raised eyebrow he retrieved the sheet. An overwhelming sense of confusion washed over Park, how could they even recognize her as Nel? It was a torso limbs cut of at their joints, the elbows looked like they had been busted off with a sledge hammer, knees cut off with a saw, the hair les head bashed in on one side the center of her face sunken in, the bottom of her jaw missing. Her breasts surgically, carefully removed.
He gawked at the bite marks on her neck and shoulders, on her thigh a whole where flesh had been ripped off.
The gruesome "y" crookedly cut down her center closed in part by staples after the autopsy, gaped open in parts where there had been skin missing to begin with.
"Excuse me, " Park enquired "how was she identified?"
Again the doctor raised his eyebrows "Teeth records and one of the arms was found inserted inside the torso, also a friend confirmed. Sorry for your loss"
Park was taken aback "What teeth?" the doctor sighed "We extracted them from. Her throat and stomach content, look kid, I know it's hard, death always is, specially one as graphic as this, denial is natural".
Park sighed and nodded unconvinced, he had time to sleep on it "When can I take her home?" the doctor shook his head "Son, this is an open investigation, it's not like she died of natural causes. She's staying here with us for a while, go home it looks like you could use some rest"
Park smiled "You don't understand, she can't stay here. As I see it you have to options," from his jacket he produced a black pistol and set it on the table between them "I can take her home with or without trouble."
The doctor made a doble take of the weapon and without a second thought he walked out the room "I will take that as a without." He picked up the mass of flesh carefully making sure to tuck in the blanket so it would not slip, he looked around for the missing arm but not finding it he walked out invisible, purposefully ignored by the staff. He placed what was once Nel in the backseat of his car, the trunk felt cold even for him.
He wished he could feel the loss as deeply as the others, but he was still unconvinced "Nel you bitch, what are you planning now. "
His phone vibrated with a text message from Milo "I am waiting."
With a disgruntled grunt he turned the ignition, time to drive madam home.
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Shun sat hunched on the office sofa, his head in his hands, Milo at the desk head tossed back, the tension between them drowned anyone who bear witness of the thick silence, their men waited outside keeping guard in the reception right outside the door, even they kept expectantly awaiting for Nel.
As park entered with the small bulk of sheets in his arms not a greeting was exchanged, the building held its breath as the madam had lost hers.
Entering the office Park laid her gently over the modern crystal desk, giving a step back he greeted Milo with a nod.
Milo looked down on it pathetically "what's this?" he demanded rudely with a scowl "you sent me for the madam and here she is..." Park answered unfazed.
Shun raised himself from the sofa slowly, finding his bearings his partially tucked in shirt open, revealing the black wife beater he wore under it, tie still loosely hanging from his neck, the footsteps of his dress shoes echoed loudly transported by the thick atmosphere the 3 men shared. As he extended his hand out to take the sheet Park stopped him like he had stopped the doctor "Are you sure? " he asked them both, wondering if they were ready, he did not want another Charlotte on his hands.
Without looking at him Shun freed himself and pushed forward, he was accustomed to death, but loss was something he inflicted not an emotion he was familiar with.
His hands trembled slightly, his polished silver watch glistening as he revealed what was left of the body. None of them gasped, not one tear was shed, or profanity spoken. They just stared, entranced by the human remains so out of place on the pristine glass surface, so alien it hardly resembled what she once was. All three remained like this for a long while even there breathing had shallowed.
"How did they-" Shun began but Park only said, "Dental records and an arm," they all nodded.
Milo was the first to look away "What has the Shark said? " he asked and they both shrugged "that she was alive when they let her go from the security house, he admitted she got banged up a bit, the butcher playing a little too hard, but she was alive, even walked out on her own. " Shun shook his head at Parks careful words "No evidence. " was all he mustered.
"And the butcher?" Milo continued "you can't get anything out of that hyena" Shun said in disgust "trust me... I tried" his hands clamped in a tight fist remembering the satisfaction of crashing it hard into the center of his face, the indents of his teeth where still healing on his knuckles.
" Sir," Park cleared his throat "what happens now? " Milo raised an eyebrow "We bury the bitch what else? It will be small I don't want a riot after what happened in Emanuel's procession" Park and Shun agreed, the lavish funerary procession of the business man had been a logistics nightmare "I meant with our turf, only a few people know she's dead..." this caught Milo's attention "so?" we can still come back from this Park explained patiently, Nel was known by reputation and nick names not by her appearance that was never very remarkable, take any other girl with similar built and characteristics, dye her hair white and you have a decoy to win time, he was basically suggesting to take over behind the mask.
Milo scoffed "Look at you too, moving so swiftly up the chain"
The pair of brothers said nothing but Milo knew he was right, "get it taken care off" he said "go, both of you, and take her with you, I have had enough for today."
As they drove off together Shun cradled the remains of the person he believed to love in his arms, close to his chest, he was careful to not penetrate the open orifices of the skull as he caressed it gently, concentrated deep in thought "We all knew she would not die of old age, peacefully in her bed surrounded by family" Shun said "but this... it's too much man. "
Park nodded without taking his eyes off the road "what's done is done, what will we do about it?"
Shun shrugged "what we do best"
Park smiled "Fucking straight. "
In the glass covered towers of T city life goes on as it's custom, not a thing out of place, no uncertainty felt. In the T the emptiness that is left behind by the passing of a wrathful child would not be enough to even disrupt a falling leaf. In the greatness of the small city, it was just another Thursday.