Fifty Seven: Ocean of Tears

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hello people of earth I am writing this from my brand new MacBook air

it's gold and it's pretty

::

"You look like you ate a frog," Sirius informed. Fred looked at the man strangely, but Bill Weasley nodded simply. Ella raised her eyes from the notebook she's been drawing at, and a grin was lighting up her face.

"A frog!"

"What?" Sirius turned to look at her, when he previously was looking his Godson up and down. Harry just arrived at the house, as Sirius was sent to guard The Dursley's house, when a dementor attempted an attack. Just when Harry was about to use a charm by himself, Sirius jumped in and helped. A ministry official appeared almost immediately, but was waved off by Sirius, and before long Harry was ushered to London by Sirius' side.

"Nothing, carry on," Ella grinned, and Sirius smiled back.

"The second prettiest smile in the world," he complimented.

"After your own?" George challenged.

"After Moony's," Ella and Sirius replied with certainty.

"What is happening here, exactly?" Harry asked, confused.

"This is Sirius' house," Fred stated, "and the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix-"

"And Dumbledore doesn't appreciate it when I tell jokes about how he ordered a burger or something, so don't even try," Ella mumbled, invested in her notebook.

Ron tried to take a peak into it, but she shut it before he could inch close enough, and stood up. "Yeah, no one has humor these days."

"Well, it's not a laughing matter, a dementor attacked me!"

"Experiences we'd rather forget with people we'd rather not remember," Ella threw in again, when Sirius slapped the back of her head lightly. "You're the love of my life, you're not a part of this," she assured, and he shook his head with a smile, but Harry seemed exasperated at the duo.

"Why would a dementor attack me? Don't the ministry work with them?"

"Try by asking if the ministry even works," George rolled his eyes. "They're real dumb-"

"Dumber than Ella."

"I am so loved," she muttered sarcastically. Harry looked at her, frowning suddenly. 

"Why are your hands pink?" Ella looked down at her palms, and just as Harry pointed out, her hands were a soft pink color, and Sirius glanced at her. He was the only one to know the reason.

"I killed a unicorn," she stated with no hesitation, and Ginny- that was strangely quiet- gasped. 

"Unicorns have silver blood," Hermione pointed out.

"Not the Middle-Eastern sub-type of--" Ella started when a pillow hit her face. Ginny was smirking, triumph obvious in her eyes, and Ella sighed. "Yeah, okay, I'm heading to bed."

Sirius's gray eyes met her brown eyes, and he noted how the bags under her eyes were making her look so very pale when she was not pulling her face into a wide smile. She threw a soft smile his way, one that was not filled with fake joy, and he let her walk upstairs alone. 

"Harry, tell us exactly what happened," Ron insisted, and at once the conversation shifted to be all about his godson, and Sirius was expected to be as present as he always attempted to be.\

Fred Weasley, however, chose not be present, and without anyone noticing (except for George, who smiled kindly at his twin), made his way to the shared room of Sirius and Ella.

::

A knock on the door surprised Ella, but she figured it must be Sirius, so she replied quietly "Yeah, come in!" as she took off her shirt. 

"WHAT!" Fred called out, and Ella flushed red as Fred's hair when she realized it was him. She quickly pulled on a t-shirt Sirius left laying on the bed, and turned to him. 

"Why did you come in?!"

"You said come in!"

"I did not, I thought you were Sirius!" 

"You two walk around each other shirtless?!" he questioned, and Ella shook her head.

"No, but he never walks in and looks at me, if he sees I'm changing, he just turns around to look at the door until I'm done! I am, by the way."

"How do you know that?" Fred asked, turning around, as Ella took off her jeans, and pulled up a pair of shorts that were hidden by Sirius' shirt. "You have a strange way of being done with changing clothes."

"Yeah. Piss off," she shrugged. "What is it, Freddie?" she looked up at him, plopping down on her bed. Fred walked closer, and stopped a few inches away from the bed. She was peering up at him, brown eyes wide, and he suddenly forgot the reason he followed her. "Fred?" she asked again when he was quiet for a few seconds too much.

"Uh, I... I'm just worried about you. Everything okay?" she nodded, but shrugged at the same time, which seemed funny, and Fred snapped out of his daydream, smiling. He sat down by her, and she grinned back.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, I'm not okay, but it's okay, you know?"

"I guess I do."

"I'm sad," she admitted, reaching out to touch his hand. He turned his palm around, and put his other on top of her hands, encircling her hand in his safely. "But I'll be fine," she promised. 

"And I'll be here with you."

"Forever?" she joked.

"Forever," he simply said back, smiling wide.

"You're the best, Freddie."

"Yeah, just let me see more naked parts of you next again."

"Shut up," she laughed, and he pulled his hand away to ruffle her hair, before he leaned on his hands as Ella tried to get her hair all nice again, "What is it?"

"Why are there..." he paused for a moment, looking at wall, "seventeen pink ties?"

Ella looked at him in silence, not knowing how to reply. 

"And why do your school robes have a pink and black crest now? Where's the green?"

Ella was so silent, Fred thought she forgot how to talk.

"I miss Cedric," she stated suddenly, and for a moment she was so certain that it was nothing more than an excuse, but then she could feel burning in her eyes, and she realized she really did miss Cedric, like she missed air when she fell to a swimming pool when she was eight.

"Ella-"

"And I'm so fucking scared of what's coming up," she whispered, before hugging Fred. She couldn't cry, and she didn't sob-- she simply felt a burning in her eyes, and she felt like each breathe was fighting for her life.

"Ella, sweetie," Fred whispered, and she suddenly knew the words she needed to say.

"He was the guardian of my world, and I was his. I have no one to search for when I wake up, no smile to look forward to. No home to come back to when I simply put my arms around him."

Fred was silent.

"Each day with him was like a miracle, like Genesis; he was the sky and the sea and the ground, he was the people in my world, they all lived through him. I'm breathing, but I don't know how I'm doing it. Now I'm just drowning."


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