Hidden Trauma (Depressed/Sexually Assaulted Bakugou)

Chapter 30: In The Meantime

Back at UA, Monoma Neito sits silently at his desk, forehead pressed against its wood, with his hands resting folded against his head from where they are propped up on his elbows. Despite the silence in the room, however, Monoma's mind is racing, as he is contemplating what to do about his terrible blunder with Bakugou. Well...a blunder with Kirishima, but it was about Bakugou...and Monoma feels exceedingly guilty for what he said.

Monoma is not a bad guy. Sure, he can come off as narcissistic and brash, but he does what he does in the hopes of getting his own classmates' hopes up, not out of malice. The problem is that what he said, even as a joke, went way too far. In general, he should not joke about such topics, and he knows that, but his mouthy personality escaped his grasp. Now, here he is, feeling like a terrible human being who laughed at the expense of someone who had already gone through way more than he should have. Really, he said it because, in his naive mind, there was no way it had possibly happened.

"Nguhhhh!" Monoma groans at himself as he lifts his head, now slouching over his desk with his hands clasped under his nose. He knows what people would think about this. They would probably assume that this is what he wanted—that he has always desired to crush the spirits of Class 1-A and, most of all, Bakugou Katsuki. That could not be further from the truth, though. He has a distaste for the guy, he will not lie about that, but he just wants his class to know that they can still stand up to Class 1-A. Just because they are the top class in the school does not mean that they can walk all over everyone else.

Monoma wanted to prove that.

Then he took things way too far and revealed a secret that Bakugou had kept close to his chest.

Monoma stands from his desk, slamming his hands down onto it, the chair sliding backwards forcefully. Resolutely, the boy turns and walks towards his door, swinging it open and ignoring the shocked face of Kendo, who had a hand poised to knock on his door, as he goes down the hallway with quickly paced but measured strides.

It is not long before Monoma finds himself walking into the 1-A dorm building. He stalks by rapidly blinking students from the class and up to a certain freckled green-haired boy. "What room is Bakugou in?" Monoma asks firmly and without his usual grandeur.

"Uh.... He's in the third room on the fourth floor...."

Without wasting any more time, Monoma skirts past the shorter boy and enters the elevator without a word, ignoring the startled and distinctly Midoriya "Monoma-kun!" that squeezes between the doors just before they close.

After the short ride up through the building, Monoma finds himself in front of the room he knows Bakugou resides in. It is oddly terrifying to be in such a situation. Monoma is so out of his depth, but he knows he needs to apologize. Normally, he does not have any fear of this boy who many consider near villainhood, but this...this is somehow enough to make him fear. He does not know why, but only that he is terrified.

Taking in a deep breath, Monoma sets his shoulders and assumes a resolute posture, face serious and eyes ready. He raises a hand and knocks quickly before he can back out. There is a muffled shuffling on the other side of the door and a little grunted noise of recognition that tells Monoma his encounter has come. Footsteps get closer until the doorknob moves and the door opens just a crack, revealing a sliver of the tired, disheveled blonde boy from class 1-A.

Monoma sees recognition flood into the single blood-red eye that he can see peeking out of the dark room. As soon as he begins to speak, however, just a quiet "I—," the door slams back closed.

Understandable.

The fact it is understandable doesn't stop it from hurting a bit.

Ouch.

So that was what he was fearing so greatly: complete and utter rejection of his attempt to apologize.

Monoma stands in front of the door for a while, waiting with some bit of nonsensical and clearly illogical hope that Bakugou will open it again. He knocks once more and waits a while longer, still.

After a good ten minutes pass, Monoma's brow furrows in defeat, and his gaze drops to the floor. That is his response, then.

Still, he will try again. Tomorrow, maybe. He needs to say sorry.

So, he does.

The next couple days go by with Monoma trying to speak with Bakugou, but he gets brushed off every time. He raises a hand in an uncharacteristically amicable greeting to Bakugou between classes, and he receives a moment-long stare that is not even a glare from the blonde before the people following him around practically shoot him down with scowls. Kendo gave him a small pat on the arm and an understanding smile after that one.

Finally, Monoma finds himself standing in front of Eraserhead's living area. It is fairly late, as the main teachers, including Aizawa, have been gone during the day for most of the week, replaced by substitute teachers during classes, only to return in the evenings. Monoma sets his face in a relaxed smile and knocks on the door which opens moments later.

Monoma fights to keep his eyebrows from raising. Aizawa's eyebags look astronomically larger and darker, and he appears far more exhausted than usual. This degree of exhaustion was alien to Monoma.

"What?" the tired teacher grumbles, clearly not in the mood for a conversation.

Monoma slips into his easy manners. "Hello, Mr. Aizawa. Would you mind if I come in for a moment? I have a rather important question for you that I would prefer to stay as confidential as possible at the moment."

Aizawa blinks slowly as his exhausted brain picks apart the wordy request. He inhales deeply and wearily before stepping to the side, opening the door wider in the universal greeting to enter the room.

Monoma does so gratefully, walking in before waiting for Aizawa to lead the way to wherever they would go. After closing the door, Aizawa leads Monoma to a cozy-looking couch in a small living room. He motions for Monoma to sit before practically falling into a heavily cushioned armchair adjacent to the couch.

Monoma takes his seat gingerly, his nerves festering underneath his skin, and his easy-looking smile begins to waver. Aizawa observes at him with interest, but, noticing his nerves, looks around the room for a moment before standing and walking to a kitchen just next to where they sit. A few minutes later, Aizawa sits back down with a piping hot cup of coffee, setting a mug of tea on the coffee table in front of Monoma. "Tea," he comments tiredly, to which Monoma offers his thanks as he takes a sip. Chamomile. He likes chamomile.

Aizawa sets his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and cradling his coffee in his hands. "So?" he asks inquisitively.

Monoma allows his smile to drop fully, and he stares at his wavering reflection in his mug of tea. "I...I have been trying to apologize to Bakugou." Aizawa quirks a brow at the admission. "The thing is," Monoma continues nervously, droopy eyes finding their way up to Aizawa's face, "I honestly have no idea how to get him to listen to me, and I was hoping that you would maybe know how I could get through to him."

Aizawa is silent for a moment, watching Monoma with an unsettlingly observant gaze. Monoma averts his eyes and finds himself looking back into his tea.

"Are you doing this just to be forgiven?"

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I was going to make this little arc-ish thing one chapter, but I went a bit overboard and now it's two lol. I chopped it in kinda-half, and the next part will be out in a bit!

This little fluffy thing was recommended to me by @Explosive_Gay_Boi !!! Hope it turned ur life on its head lol jk. This guy makes angst btw so go check him out ;)

Also, I have no idea how to write Monoma and don't think I've read more than one fanfic where he was an important character, so sorry if he's poorly written lol all I know is the basics and that he speaks somewhat wordily.

-Angry
Word Count: 1328