Daughter of Heaven (WIP - On Hiatus)

Chapter 55 - Let's try this again

Dean woke up, hearing the twittering of birds. He blinked his eyes a couple of times, surprised at hearing such an oddly happy sound in Purgatory. Then, he recalled that he wasn't in that hellhole anymore but in a nice, warm bed with soft pillows, in a cozy house, in the real world. He was safe and sound and with... Allegra!
Dean spun around. Allegra was sitting up in bed, covers pulled up to her breasts, fiddling with a lock of hair. She looked down at him when he moved. A smile crept up the corner of Dean's mouth as their eyes met. He pushed himself up to kiss her lips. Her response was surprisingly hesitant. Dean wondered at that, but when Allegra began to kiss him back, he dispelled it quickly. 

When they parted, Dean took a quick scan and recognized the guest room he stayed in with his brother when he was last here. Their clothes lay scattered all over the floor, with the exception of their underwear, which they still wore. He felt slightly embarrassed upon realizing they hadn't even made it to Allegra's room last night. Getting upstairs, stumbling against everything that stood in their way since their lips had practically been glued together, had been... challenging, to say the least. 
Dean remembered the hunger and the passion between them. All those months apart, the fighting, the pain... Last night, none of it had mattered anymore. It had all been forgotten. It had been just like before. Just like when all was good between them. It had strengthened Dean's hope that it could be that good again. But... maybe this time... they could have more.
He looked back at Allegra. She had her eyes down and was biting her lower lip as if she wanted to say something but didn't really know how to.

"Hey, you okay?" asked Dean.

"Yeah, fine, just... Last night... Dean, it... it shouldn't have happened. Not right away, I mean. I just saw you, and then, I touched you, and everything I hoped for these past months was suddenly coming true, and I... I just... Before we go on, I-I wanna... God, I'm actually afraid to ask you this because of what happened last time."

Dean took her hand in his, believing he knew what this was all about.

"Last time was on me," he said. "I was an idiot and a jerk. But you don't ever have to be afraid to talk to me, Alley. I'll listen, I promise."

"It wouldn't be the first promise you broke."

"I won't this time."

"Won't you?" Allegra finally looked up at Dean. "Nothing's changed, Dean. I'm still the cursed virgin. I'm no closer to finding something that'll make this, us, happen. You told me once you were willing to wait as long as it took. That you were in it with me. And then we started fighting. You blamed me for every bad thing that happened; Castiel, Bobby, Sam... You shot me down, and then you..."

Her breath choked.

"I've already forgiven you for her, Dean," she continued with a trembling voice. "But I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt anymore. Because it still does. Just... not as much as before. Missing you these past months and not knowing if you were still alive was agonizing. And last night, I let my emotions get the better of me because I was so happy that you're back, that you're here with me, and that you're safe. But... I can't afford to get my heart broken again."

Dean felt a lump in his throat. He opened his mouth, but Allegra put her fingers against his lips.

"Don't. Please just think about what I said first. I'll... I'll go and make breakfast for us. You take your time and have a shower. I brought some of your clothes with me; they're in the closet."

"Allegra, I..."

"Dean... please."

He nodded, conceding to her request. What else could he do?

***

When Dean emerged from the bathroom after about an hour (the hot water felt so good, and it helped clear his mind to think about Allegra's words), he found Trixie sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting for him with a happy wagging tail. He greeted the dog with a smile.