The Colt & The Cobra - THE SPECTER SERIES [book six]

Chapter FORTY

You don't know what to say, all the words mix into an unsolvable jumble in your head..

"Hm.. You sure 'bout that, Sugar?" He croons, a tempting slow-honeyed drawl while arching a thick blond brow in disbelief..

"I'm not really sure about anything anymore.." You shrug, allowing a wash of passive aggression to overcome you.. "But, I'm not mad.. I'm just-- Fuck-- I'm so disappointed.."

His expression falls to one of guilt and shame and somehow his pain is just more punishment to you.. It doesn't make you feel any better to hurt him the way he has hurt you.. It doesn't appease you to see his guilty suffering..

This beautiful man to whom you had surrendered your heart, your body and soul to only a few hours ago, can't truly be so different.. Even though he is now unrecognisable, the thudding in your chest says otherwise.. Your heart recognises him.. Recognises him and reacts foolishly..

Despite the signs and red flags so wantonly dismissed, despite your preconceived doubts and despite the warnings he himself had given you, you had let yourself fall head over heels for The charming Cowboy..

Or rather, you couldn't stop it..

You can't stop it, even now.. With all the fury of a woman scorned seething inside , you still can't stop loving him..

Damn him!

Was any of it real? Or was it all just an act?.. Did he say all those pretty words just to exploit your biggest weaknesses?.. Your loneliness and grief, your fears and doubts.. Or your hopes and dreams..

Did he gather all of your affection just to weaponize it against you?

What the fuck does he want from you?!

God.. You need to know, just who the hell is Colt Knox?

He sees you reeling through the doubts and shifts nervously on his feet before you, as if he knows exactly what you are thinking.. "Mikki--"

"Colt--" You mute each other by speaking at the same time as you stare deeply into each other's eyes, neither of you wanting to be the first to flinch..

Neither wanting to concede..

Eventually, he cracks, shattering the silence.. "I didn't think you'd wanna talk to me.. Mikki, I feel sick to my guts.. Betraying your trust the way I did, I never wanted--"

"Oh, you're sick about it?" Your tongue feels two times too big for your mouth and talking is now the last thing you want to do.. That and the fact you had just spent the last two hours being evaluated by Lacey and a rather uptight psychologist colleague she introduced you to, Dr Harper.. "Hmm.. Care to imagine how I feel?.. Ugh, I don't know that I actually do want to talk anymore.. I think I'm all talked out, Cowboy.. I've been stabbed in the back, interrogated, evaluated and medicated, all in the short time since you brought me here.. I just want whatever the fuck this is to be over.."

"Whatever this is--" He peers at you through luminescent blue eyes.. Eyes filled with questions.. "Between you and me?"

You shake your head and click your tongue a little too aggressively.. "Tch, I mean all of it, Colt.. I want out, I want to be done.. I don't need to be questioned by the same self-serving FBI assholes who got Charlie killed.. I never want to see Ellerie Devereux or Jake Harrison again.. I never aaked to be made to look like the fucking idiot you've made me look like with all your lies! You brought me here, so you can tell me how I get out.. God, just-- tell me what am I supposed to do to get out of this fucking nightmare. What do you people really want from me?! Please, tell me!"