Thirty Seven

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“I wasn’t expecting you.”

I stare at Chris’ back, my hands clasped together in front of me. He continued to stare out of the window, tapping his right hand against his hip. When I didn’t answer, he finally turned to face me.

“You here to yell?” I blinked at him. “Spar?” Still, I didn’t respond. “Silently judge me? Such a treat.”

“What’s with the attitude?”

“Attitude?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “What did you expect me to say? Thank you for lying to me again? Thank you for making me look like a fool?”

“Oh, come on! That’s not fair!”

“What isn’t fair, Blue?” He shouted back. “That I have the right to be angry, upset, and betrayed by the woman I love?” His head shook in disbelief. “If you can’t tell me the truth when I ask, how can I believe you’re telling the truth the rest of the time?”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew what would happen.”

He threw down the clothes in his hands, stomping over to me. My head tipped back, lifting my eyes to gaze into his. Hurt furrowed his eyebrows, his intense blue eyes withdrawn and suspicious. Gently, I reached out to him, needing to make a physical connection. Vehemently, he yanked away from me, swinging around to stand deeper into the bedroom.

Stepping inside, my eyes draw around the familiar space, committing each item to memory. Softly, his fireplace snapped and crackled, coloring the bedroom a dull orange color. Heat gently caressed my back, warming it as I moved into the wide open space. Chris didn’t like clutter, and his bedroom followed that pattern.

Other than his oversized king bed with navy silk sheets, a massive hand-painted unframed canvas of me, and an ottoman at the footboard, Chris had virtually nothing in the room. All his clothes neatly hung in the closet door to my left, and all his socks and underwear are neatly folded and placed into the six drawer system built into the wall.

Tension strung tight in his muscles as I closed the distance between us. He didn’t turn around to speak to me a second time. Instead, he remained brooding out of the windows with his massive arms crossed on his chest. I stopped directly behind him, pressing my cold palms to his lower back and dragging them upward, fanning out until my fingers grasped his broad shoulders.

I followed the same path down, gliding my hands until they met as his waist, before encircling it. My face pressed between his shoulder blades, breathing in his cologne. We stood in silence, watching the creatures underwater flit from to-and-fro. Gradually, his body loosened and his arms broke apart, dropping to his sides. Warm, callused palms caught my wrists and held on.

“I’m sorry.”

He stiffened all over again, but I wouldn’t release him when he went to move away.

“Wait…” I plead, squeezing him tightly. “Just listen to me, Chris. Ju—Please.”

His head tilted downward. The movement was so slight, if it wasn’t staring at his head, I would have missed it. All the muscles in his frame remained taut, ready and budding for fight or flight, but I ignored it and focused on the ratcheting beat of his heart.

“You deserve an explanation.”

“We all do.” He scoffed. “Yet, you seem to have this delusion of grandeur. It’s exhausting.”

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