Her Blood Lost

Chapter 33| You Know You Love Me

"So am I wrong to want you?"

Julius's POV

I'd showered and gotten ready for bed, but now here I was in my bathroom, killing time.

I did not want to go to bed. I did not want to sleep alone again.

My teeth gritted and I looked down at the running water, my hand shook as I turned it off.

Coward.

A humorless laugh passed my teeth and I covered my eyes as I took deep breaths.

Don't you love him?

"Are you okay?" His voice asked and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Shit—When did you come in here?" I huffed turning to where Ian was leaned in the doorway of the bathroom. I could've sworn I locked the bedroom door.

"Just now." He answered plainly.

I gave a nod and cleared my throat, "Well, you don't have to come check on me. I was about to go to sleep; you can leave." I said sounding a bit more harsher than I intended. His eyes raked over me and he looked like he wanted to say something, but he only pushed himself off the doorframe and walked into my room.

Instead of leaving though, he sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at me for a bit as I walked out of the restroom.

"We need to talk." He said calmly and I almost grimaced.

"It's late." I countered.

"Julius. Please." Ian breathed.

"Why?" I grumbled. I know I wasn't being fair, but my heart was racing and I just wanted him out of my room.

"We have to." He retorted sharply and there was that feeling again: fear.

No. No. No. I am stronger than him. I can take him. So why? Why am I still scared?

"Ian, I—I'm tired." I said frowning as I stumbled over my words.

"Come here." He muttered and motioned me closer. I scowled and walked over and once I was close enough he reached out and grabbed my wrist.

Excuse me?

"Sit down." He huffed, glancing at the ground.

"Let go." I snapped and his grip on my wrist tightened.

"No. We need to talk." Ian huffed standing up and his glaring eyes snapped up to meet mine. I scoffed and looked away from him.

"Like hell we do. I'm tired Ian... let me go." I grumbled and he let out a trembling breath but didn't release his grip.

"If you hate me—" Ian began, his eyes spilling over with tears almost instantly. "If you hate me now, I get it. We don't have—we don't have to talk about what happened. But at least just tell me—"

"What are you talking about?" I managed to gasp as I stared into his watery eyes, my heart clenching. "No. I don't—I—"

"Really now? You think I'm stupid?" Ian hissed sharply, his voice scratchy and raw. His tears ran down his face and dripped onto our hands. "I see how you look at me. You're scared of me."

My eyebrows furrowed and tears escaped from my burning eyes.

"No I'm not." I scoffed but my voice quivered. Ian gave a bitter short-lived chuckle.

"I understand," he said and panic began to build in my chest my gaze locked onto his stricken look. "I hate myself much more than you hate me."

My words caught in my throat and I stared at his tearful eyes through my blurry gaze. This idiot. I didn't hate him.

"I'm just—I don't know—I don't hate you, but you—goddess you scared the hell outta me." I choked out. "I just need to shake off whatever this is."

"I was scared too. How do you think I felt? Waking up and everyone telling me I almost killed you. But I—I don't even remember it. So don't look at me like that." Ian huffed and I glanced to his hand on my wrist.

I finally pulled my arm out of his grasp and I sighed, "I don't hate you. I would never hate you."

"Then look me in my eyes." He muttered and I slowly looked up to meet his gaze and a fire burned in his tearful eyes.

His hands gripped mine and I felt somewhat embarrassed as he pulled me closer to him.

"I miss you and I swear to goddess if I could go back I would. But what's done is done. I love you Julius—so much that being apart from you hurts. I just want you. I know we're not really mates, but I can't see myself with anyone else. You're mine and I'm yours—" Ian began and I pulled my hands from his hold. My heart was pounding erratically in my chest and my eyes were scanning his face. Memorizing every scar and nook and cranny and finally settling on his tear-stained lips.

"Did you practice that?" I asked and his face reddened. "I'm not very good at saying it, I definitely don't have a speech prepared, ha, but I love you too." I breathed and Ian's bright smile was like a punch to the gut but at the same time a much needed ray of sunshine. My heart swelled with longing and I cupped his face in my hands.

My lips clashed against his in a hungry kiss and he flung his arms around my neck pulling me in.

"I love you." I whispered as I pulled away to kiss his neck.

"Julius." He dragged out and a smirk slapped onto my face.

"Yes?" I hummed and wrapped an arm around his waist as I kissed his neck slowly; teasing him.

"Marry me." He breathed and I almost choked on my own spit as I pulled back.

"Oh Deam*, Ian, you're only eighteen." I said the only thing that popped in my head after my mind rebooted and he looked up at me with a blushing face and needy eyes and my heart ached. So adorable...

A/N: Deam: Latin: meaning~ Goddess

"So what? We're mates aren't we?" He said scowling and I had to bite my tongue to keep from chuckling as he pouted.

"Yes. We are." I sighed and he gave me an exasperated look.

"And we love each other, right?" He continued and I gave a nod.

"Yep. You're making a very good point here." I said sarcastically and he shot me a playful glare.

"So we'll get married at some point; why wait to propose?" He muttered suddenly looking embarrassed and I wrapped my other arm around his waist before pulling him closer and placing a kiss to his forehead.

"I was planning to propose in a few years..." I grumbled and Ian let out a puff of laughter.

"Well, you still can; I swear I'll act surprised." He chuckled and I squeezed him to me.

This book will have roughly 10-15 more chapters

I have the ending down but my mind is being stubborn with the details in between.

Welp, see ya later

Kay