train wreck ✓

fourty-five.

it was early morning and i'd heard rustling, my sleep induced hallucinations, scaring me awake. that was when i'd seen a figure standing in the middle of my room clothed in a band shirt and jeans, a figure with dark hair falling in front of his eyes as he cursed under his breath, shoving things in his duffle.

i couldn't stop the vulnerability my voice held as i refused the urge to cry from frustration, "miles, what the hell are you doing?"

he cursed again before dropping his duffle and heading over to the dresser where he'd been leaving his t-shirts and cigs, "packing, what does it look like?" he spat. he smelled of cheap beer and nicotine, a hint of weed mixed in.

"are you high?"

i heard his light laugh, confirming my suspicions, "maybe a little."

flicking on my bedside lamp, my eyes adjusted before they caught miles' bloodshot ones. i watched him continue to pack, his body swaying a little as he seemed to become dizzy. my eyes honed in on the spacey look in his eyes as he almost fell over, "why? why are you always high, miles? why are you acting like this because i don't understand you."

and that was when he started letting loose with his emotions, a pained grimace setting on his pale face, "you think i want to be like this? i don't want to be so fucking sad that i can hardly force myself to keep walking but it just happens. it numbs the pain, georgie. i like you, a lot."

"i like you too miles-"

he sighed, cutting me off, his hands still grabbing at his stuff as i watched him pass by my guitar and stare before averting his gaze downwards. his voice came out scratchy, "and i'm sorry for yelling at you."

"why do you feel the need to runaway from me?"

he shrugged, the light creating a warm glossy look in his eyes, "i don't want to hurt you."

i sighed loudly, throwing my hands in the air, my brain was buzzing with what ifs and my emotions were more confusing and conflicted than a rubix cube, "how can you be so sure you'll hurt me?"

"i destroy lives, georgia. i'll destroy yours just like i destroyed hers."

i couldn't stop myself from asking, "what exactly happened with her?"