train wreck ✓

fifty-five.

and when i woke up, i was in my own home not remembering how i'd gotten there.

and when i woke up, my head was pounding to the beat a killer hangover and there was a figure in my room with me.

a brown haired boy at the bottom of my bed staring at the guitar in the corner of my room.

that crooked little smile on his face.

i rubbed my eyes, thinking it was a dream. exactly like the reoccurring dreams the past month. but he didn't fade, "miles? miles, what the hell are you doing here?"

it's not like i wasn't happy to see him, i was just conflicted and hit with millions of emotions at one second, relief, exasperation, sadness, anger, everything just washed through me.

i was in shock.

"why'd you react so badly when i tried to kill myself?" he asked bluntly as if nothing had changed, as if he wasn't gone for a month, as if he didn't leave me.

trying to ink back, i realized that i'd never really thought about that, miles and i barely knew eachother back then so i really had no reason to cry. i couldn't think straight, miles fogging up my senses, my mind disbelieving my eyes, "i don't know..."

he seemed to have noticed how detached my voice was, i could barely breathe, "i'm sorry i was gone so long..."

and suddenly, my heart dropped to my stomach, my head was spinning hard, there were tears and i wasn't aware of what was happening until his arms were wrapped around me, my body latching onto his.

my head in the crook of his neck.

miles was my refuge.

"i missed you," he whispered into my hair, his voice filled to the brink with emotion as he breathed easier, me sobbing, "i missed you so much."

i missed you way more.