The Fire Inside (Sebastian Vettel)

12. Clearing the Air

The next couple of races passed in a blur. Seb had come close to the points a couple of times but he was still gaining his confidence in the car. To be honest, the strategy had screwed him up a couple of times too. He had major doubts about Connor's ability to do the job properly. The man was incompetent. He had voiced his concerns to Otmar who had reassured him that his concerns had been noted.

Emily was still not talking to him, apart from for work reasons. He couldn't blame her really, he knew he'd been blowing hot and cold. He'd messaged her a few times but she'd just given short, blunt answers. He was mad at himself. Why was he such a coward?

He'd fantasised about Emily for so long, and now he had been in with a chance and he had bottled it. He knew they needed to talk. He wanted to ask her what she wanted. If she was happy with being fuck buddies, as he had heard it called, then he was happy to give that a go. He was being driven mad craving her. Her ass looked amazing in her tight green team jeans. He had to force himself to stop eyeing her up around the others. He wanted her more than ever. He just hoped he hadn't blown it altogether.

***

Emily checked into the team hotel. It was time for Monaco. She loved it here. The glitz and the glamour fascinated her. Arriving in her room, that she had to herself this time, she flopped onto the bed. She just lay there relaxing for a few minutes. She found herself wondering if Seb had arrived yet. She knew she'd been keeping him at arm's length. Truth be told she was finding it difficult to be around him without wanting to kiss him senseless. She knew they would have to talk soon. This tension between them was driving her crazy.

It was then that her phone rang. She saw that it was Otmar, the team principal.

"Hello Otmar, is something wrong?" Otmar never rang her so she knew it must be important. Something must be up.

"Emily, you're gonna have to step in as strategist for this weekend. Connor won't be here. I need you to meet me, Joe and Sebastian tomorrow at the motorhome. I'll explain more then. Around 11am."

"Of course, I'll see you then." The call ended.

Emily wondered where Connor was. She wasn't worried about filling in for him. The last time she had done that she'd helped Checo move from last place to win his first race. She just found it unsettling that Connor couldn't be relied on.

It also meant that she was going to be spending more time with Seb. If that was the case the sooner they sorted things out the better. She tapped out a message to him.

Emily: Hey Seb, I presume Otmar has told you that I'm filling in for Connor this weekend. I think we need to clear the air before we have to start work. Are you free to meet up tonight? If not don't worry but thought it would make things easier all round.

He answered almost immediately.

Seb: Yeah, he called me this morning. I've been trying to clear the air. It's what I want. Come round now if you're free. Room 414. We can order some food in if you haven't eaten. I'm famished.

Emily: OK, I'll be there in about 20 minutes.

She quickly had a wash and brushed her hair. A quick spray of deodorant and she was ready. She wasn't going to make an effort. She wasn't trying to impress him.

She made her way up to the floor above and located his room. She knocked on the door. He opened the door looking as handsome as ever. He was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt that was a tighter fit than he usually wore. It showed his physique off well.

"Hey," he said. "Come on in." She entered the room. "Have a seat," he said gesturing to the chair. He sat on the end of the bed.

"OK, so I thought we needed to clear the air before tomorrow. We're going to see a lot of each other this weekend and it's going to be awkward as hell if we aren't talking."

"Emily, I've been trying to talk to you. You're the one who's been sending short almost Kimi-like answers. " She sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry for that. I just don't know what to say."

"Say what you feel. Emily. Just be honest about what you want. I'm just gonna come out and say this. I can't get you out of my head. You haunt me. I want you so much. What do you want Emily? Tell me please. Do you want me?"

Emily felt nervous. She'd never been one for showing her feelings.

"Seb, you know I want you but I've never been the type of girl to sleep with someone just for the sake of it. But after my last relationship, I've been put off them. So since then I've just been alone. I haven't had sex in four years Seb. The thought of it terrifies me. My last time wasn't pleasant. I don't want to go into details. Not yet anyway. But you, you drive me mad. You haunt me too. But now we are going to be working close together this weekend I think maybe we should just agree to be friends for now. We both obviously have issues that we need to work through."

"I guess you're right. My problem is I don't know if I can be just friends with you. Not when all I want to do is kiss you right now. I want to peel those clothes off of you. I want you naked underneath me. I want to be inside you, possessing you, making you scream my name. That's not just going to go away Emily. Is it?"

Emily thought about it, then shook her head in agreement. She stood up. She took a couple of steps forward until she was right in front of him. He slipped his arms around her and rested his head on her stomach. She put her arms around him holding him tight.

"Emily, I wish I wasn't so fucked up. I wish I could give you everything."

He pulled back and grabbed her arm, pulling her down to sit next to him on the bed. Then he leant over and kissed her. She immediately kissed him back. They fell back, lying down on the bed. Seb buried his fingers in her hair, holding her head still so he could deepen the kiss. He knew they shouldn't be doing this but he just couldn't stop himself. Emily seemed to be having the same problem. He managed to stop himself from trying to go further than the kiss.

After a few minutes they broke apart, both breathless. Seb smiled at Emily.

"Emily, I do fancy the hell out of you. Are you willing to wait for this broken man to get his shit together?"

"When you kiss me like that I'd wait forever." She laughed. He pulled her into his arms.

"Emily. I really don't know how to explain us. Friends that kiss?"

"Friends with benefits I think you mean."

"Yes, that's it. Would you be my friend with benefits?" Emily laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Seb, I'd love to, but I'd like to take it slowly. I'm not ready yet to....you know."

"Whenever you're ready beautiful. For now this is perfect."

He took her in his arms and they just lay cuddling until a loud noise broke the silence. Seb's stomach gave a loud rumble. Emily burst out laughing.

"I'm hungry, " said Seb, stating the obvious. "Shall we order some dinner?"