The Dreaded Return

II

~~

When my eyes open again, it's at least twenty minutes after the blast. And in those twenty minutes, I discovered the shitty experience of not being able to hear. 

Spoiler: It sucked.

My eyes are met with the burning corpse of the machine, and I sigh, slumping further into the hard stone that propped me up.

And as time passed, the adrenaline wore off leaving me with my not-so-pleasant thoughts passing through my mind at the speed of a bullet. 

Despair sets in as I realize that I didn't have anybody now and that I never truly had someone before either. It wasn't nice and obviously brought an ocean of tears out of me, much to my resentment. 

I sob and bawl, my blood-caked fingers, digging deep into the ground as I lay there limp with nobody to tell me that it'll be okay. 

When Ivanna finds me, I'm on the brink of losing consciousness. My eyes are closed, my skin pale as my heart slows, and the ground around me darker than it was before due to the blood seeping out of me. 

I don't know how or when she finds me because I'm too far away from reality which only hurt me. But somehow, she brings me back. 

~~

When I open my eyes, it was dawn and I didn't hurt as much as I did before. I spot a worried Ivanna sitting next to me, her legs folded and she hugs them. I was still propped up but there was a greyish salve all over my burns and the wound in my stomach was patched up. 

When I touch it softly all I felt was a slight sting and I look in wonder at Ivanna, both thankful and confused. My voice is coarse as I ask, "What are you doing here?"

She breaks out in a sob. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done this. I should have just left you alone and not brought you into this. I'm-"

I wheeze a bit as I interrupt her. "What are you talking about?" I gesture at my tattered self. "This isn't your fault."

She shakes her head, tears still shimmering in her eyes as she chokes and sobs, hugging her legs tighter than before. "But it is, Syra. It's all my fault."

The name Syra made me feel like a stranger within my body. I'd believed all my life that I was Eliana Harlow, and now when I find out that my name is Syra, I don't know how to react. So I ignore it and focus on making sure that Ivanna knew that it wasn't her fault. "Ivanna, this is not your fault. I'm in this position because I'm a shitty and reckless driver."

She shakes her head and argues, "But it is. It's my fault." She pointed her index finger and pokes her chest. "If I hadn't told you the truth, then you would have never left home, and that would mean that you wouldn't have crashed the car and-"

I grab her palm and hold it, trying to calm her with whatever little warmth my body had, and complete her ramble. "And I would have lived a lie."

She doesn't say anything and I smile bitterly. I knew for a fact that they would have never told me the truth, letting me live a lie for the rest of my life. The very thought of that enveloped my body in rage and betrayal. I release Ivanna's hand and take a deep breath trying to calm down.