Sun & Moon

Chapter 18 - Astrid

"Not a wolf," I remind him.

"Listen, Astrid," he steps in front of me and gently lowers his tone. "I was thinking while running, about what you said before, and the dinner, and everything else. I haven't been all that self-aware of how being here in Mesaniskia would affect you. I don't know, I guess, I presumed that the bond of destiny and your proximity to my home would eventually ease your mind, but I see now that I was wrong."

I clear my throat. He's wrong, yes, but not entirely so. I did feel something in me emerge during the run.

"Maybe," he continues, "you think I'm trying to suck up to you by promising you that I will send your sister books or that I will do better to make more shifting suits. The truth is, I am. But, is that so bad? Isn't love supposed to change people for the better?"

Love?

"Whoa," I take a step back feeling dizzy all of a sudden.

I have thought about it, but it never really hits you until you actually hear the word.

I get into the passenger seat of the car and Rio soon follows into the driver's seat.

"Take me back to the house," I tell him.

For a moment, I feel his gaze sear a hole into the left side of my face as the air goes completely still. But he resigns and starts the car.

We exist the field, drive through the rose-adorned road, then land back at the manor. Rio escorts me back to my west wing quarters like a ghost trailing wordlessly behind me.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks me, the second time this evening.

Again, I answer, "No."

And just before I close the door on him, he pushes against me, and lets himself enter the room. I take a step, bracing for what I know is about to happen because, I think, I want this.

Rio's lips crash into mine. Whatever hesitance or constraint there was in the past is gone, for he passionately kisses me with his hands fully clutching onto my waist. I flinch at this and push him away. But the look on his face isn't one of shock or hurt, just unfazed that I do this every time.

So, I kiss Rio back, wrapping my arms around his neck. At first, his body is tensed up from the surprise, but then he pulls me in closer as if I am the air he needs to breathe. Our hearts beat in sync, chest-to-chest and I revel in his minty musk and the sweet taste of his tongue, dancing circles around mine. I begin to feel him push against me. I stumble a bit, but then stop myself.

We part, breathing deeply as we do.

"Goodnight, Rio," I whisper.

He clenches his jaw, but nods.

"Goodnight, Astrid."

I watch him leave and give me one last look before he closes the door behind him. A sudden hot flash overcomes me. I undress and head straight for a cold shower, noticing a ring of yellow around my dilated pupils as I cross the bathroom mirror.

When I'm done, I wear a set of cotton pyjamas and head straight to bed, my body functioning on autopilot as my mind keeps questioning what I'd just done.

Oh, this very much complicates my plan.

I pull the bed covers down and tuck myself in, but I feel too restless to fall asleep. So, I stay for a while with my eyes closed, the kiss I initiated this time playing over and over again behind my eye lids. I imagine what would have happened if I didn't stop Rio, what would have happened if he pushed me onto the bed, if we turned off the lights...