𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 | 𝑩.𝑬

-chapter 3-

*billie's pov*

What the fuck is happening.

I- my brain can't even process everything.

"Hey Maggie, Lynx is going to be joining us for dinner. Is that okay?" Kai calls, my Mom's face shifting into a state of suprise once she sees my (not that she knows) ex girlfriend.

"Oh my gosh, Lynx!" Mom beams, going in to give her a hug, instantly recognizing her despite the what feels like eternity since she last saw her.

How long has it been? Like two years and a half? Damn.

When Lynx went MIA, I really couldn't handle myself. I was worse that I ever had been previously, literally not being able to do anything.

I would barely talk to anyone, occasionally stringing a couple of quiet words together for Finneas.

Even thinking about that period of time gets me so emotional I could cry thinking about it.

I was so broken.

I dropped out of school, physically not getting out of my bed for anything other than the toilet. And even that was a struggle.

I felt like a danger to others and especially myself. The pain that I caused myself was beyond anything I had ever done before.

Pain as in physically and mentally. I got used to the red lines on my arms, thighs, stomach - everywhere you could imagine. But it wasn't just that.

I didn't take care of myself at all. I completely stopped doing anything good for me, bring the most unhealthy I have ever been in my life.

I didn't brush my hair, didn't get changed, didn't brush my teeth, didn't shower - nothing.

I just layed in bed all day, more often than not sobbing uncontrollably as my chest grew tired and my throat sore.

Finneas could tell you just how intense it was. He was there at my bedside whenever he could be, determined to make me better. And in the end, I think that's the only reason I ever got out of that fucking bed.

But there was only so much of me he could take at a time. I actually don't think it would of been possible for Finneas to be with me throughout that whole period of time.

How long was it? Must of been atleast 2 months.

Finneas quit his job, took some time away from his girlfriend and basically gave up everything even loosely connected to uso social life to take care of his pathetic, heartbroken little sister.

And for that I owe him everything.

My parents didn't quite understand everything at first. Obviously, I've never told them about me dating Liliana. After all, they still think I'm straight.

I'm pretty sure Finneas made up something about Lily having to go back to England last minute cause of this family emergency thing.

My parents must of thought I was crazy. Yeah, missing a bestfriend must be hard but staying in bed for that amount of time? I don't know, I'm just glad they didn't send me to another mental hospital.

I would not have been able to handle that.

I'm getting way too lost in my thoughts.

"Did you hear me Billie?" My Mom asks, causing my eyes to drift to her.

I hum in response, shaking my head.

"I said that it would be lovely for Lynx too join us, but we should really start setting off if we want to make our reservation." Mom repeats, making my heart sink just that tiny bit more.