Fourth Time's a Charm

xxvii. empty

Cassie's POV

"You have to go," Harry said to Sirius, and with a pop, the face in the fire was gone. I looked back to the stairs to see Ron watching us. He looked like he had been ready to go to sleep, but something was keeping him up. It was a feeling I knew well.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked, looking between us and the room.

"There's two of us here, wouldn't it make sense if we were talking to each other?" Harry retorted bitterly.

"Right. I just thought I heard—never mind," He broke off with a shrug. I could tell Ron didn't quite know what to say. This was the first conversation the boys had in about a week.

"Why are you up anyway?" Harry stood up, seeming to forget I was even there. I stayed on the ground, comfortable by the now naturally blazing fire.

"I was wondering where you..." he trailed off shaking his head. "Nothing. I'm going back to bed."

"Just wanted to come nosing around in my business, did you?" Harry snapped as Ron started to turn back. My mouth fell open, reluctantly getting up from my spot on the floor.

"Harry," I whispered warningly, putting a hand on his arm. He brushes it off, picking up a badge from the table next to us. I recognized it as one Malfoy had made saying "Potter Stinks."

He threw the badge at Ron, hitting him square in the forehead. "There! Now maybe you'll have a scar! That's all you really wanted, right?"

We stared at Harry for a minute, Ron gently touching the spot where the badge hit.

I didn't know what to do. On one hand, Harry was scaring me. I had never seen him lose his temper like this and it reminded me of the one person I try to forget.

On the other hand, it was clear something was greatly wrong. Harry always walked on eggshells around me, whether I liked it or not. This outburst left me worried that he wasn't handling everything as well as he appeared to be.

Ron sighed, glancing at me, silently asking if I wanted to handle this. In truth, my answer would have been no had I not been so worried any interaction between Ron and Harry would end in an even worse fight. I couldn't just leave Harry like this so I nodded.

"G'night Cassie," Ron mumbled, turning back up the stairs.

Harry and I were silent for a while. I wanted to give him a moment to calm down, or perhaps myself a moment to grasp at what I was even supposed to say.

I sighed as I sat down on the couch, still watching him carefully. I tried to stay present, but it was difficult. The yelling, the violence—no matter how minor—left the awful feeling in my stomach.

"You lost your temper," I whispered, my voice cracking slightly.

Harry went to sit down next to me trying to reach over and grab my hand but I pulled away. "Cassie—"

"No." I walked over to the window, resting my hands on the sill, and trying to breathe. "No no no. That's what he called me. The first person to use it. Normally I'm fine but..." I lost my train of thought, only able to think about how tight my throat felt.

"Okay. Um... Sandy. I'll bet no one's ever called you that, right?" I nodded quickly to confirm his statement. If it hadn't been so difficult to breathe, I probably would have laughed at him. Of all names, Sandy? "Sandy, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted like that."

"Are you sorry that you acted like that, or sorry that I saw?"

"No, I just didn't—"

"I think you should go. I'm not mad, I'm not upset, but I can't be around you." I pointed in the direction Ron had just walked in, praying Harry would listen.

He didn't seem willing but after one last "I'm sorry," he was gone.

I grabbed a blanket off the couch, curling up on it and watching the fire. I wondered to myself if I had done the right thing, if being alone was what I needed now. If sending Harry away had helped either of us.

After much debate, I decided not to think about it. What was done, was done. And I would lie on the bed I made, or more accurately on the couch.

When I came downstairs, I hoped for a repeat of last night. Here I was on the same couch, but there was a gaping empty spot next to me. And I felt like it was missing from me as well.