Fourth Time's a Charm

xvii. confidant

Cassie's POV

I couldn't bear to sit in that classroom any longer. The spider trembling in front of me, seeing its helplessness, brought back even more memories that I had been trying to forget. I ripped my hand away from Harry, running out the moment I had the chance.

The moment I was out the door it was like a breath of fresh air hit me. I was suddenly much more aware of the pain in my chest and the pounding in my head. I made my way over to one of the staircases, careful to find a stable spot that wouldn't move.

The railing dug into my arms quite uncomfortably, but I didn't care. It was keeping me grounded, reminding me that I was here, not there.

"My parents," said a voice to the right of me. I turned to see the other boy who had shown such a reaction to the curse. Neville, I think I heard someone say.

Before I could say anything, he kept talking. "My parents were tortured by Death Eaters. Tried to get information out of them using the—the curse," he spoke like saying it was some forbidden word, not that I minded. I saw it written nearly every day, burned into the foundation of my mind. "It drove them to insanity."

"I'm sorry," I whispered after a moment, not sure what I was supposed to say.

"They never broke, though. I'm proud to be their son."

There was an odd silence. I couldn't tell if it was uncomfortable or not, but I wasn't going to be the one to break it.

"What's your story?" The way he asked didn't seem demanding like I had to tell him, but I debated in my head whether I wanted to. A few days ago, my immediate answer would be no. But lately, people have had a strange way of surprising me with their understanding and dependability.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Neville added, seeing my calculating expression. "But it can feel good to talk about. I've learned you don't always have to shut out the world. Not everything is bad."

He seemed like he was about to walk away, and I made a split-second decision.

"My step-father," I blurted out. He turned back to face me, a flash of surprise showing. "He blamed me for my mom's death. And, well, it was my fault. She killed herself because she didn't want to do it anymore—family, kids, me. He was mad and he took his anger out how ever he could." I stopped, feeling the tears rolling down my cheeks.

A hand rested on my shoulder and for the first time in a while, I didn't have to fight to not flinch. My guard was down, and that could be a horrifying and beautiful thing.

"You...actually felt it?" He asked cautiously. I nodded slowly, not sure if I was admitting it to him or myself. It still didn't even seem real.

I realized this was the first time I had really told someone the whole story. Cedric and Mr. Diggory knew about the curse, but I never told anyone why. Everyone just assumed it was the alcohol and I let them.

"Oh my god," he exhaled sharply. "I didn't think—I'm so sorry. I can't imagine—"

"No. I don't want pity. I just need someone who understands. Who doesn't expect me to fix myself just because it's not happening anymore," I shocked myself with the firmness in my tone.

"Right. Of course," He seemed like there was more he wanted to say but was withholding it. "Can I just hug you? I'm sorry, but no one should ever have to go through that. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy and you absolutely didn't deserve it," he said very quickly, not leaving me any chance to cut in.

"Yes," I laughed lightly. "Yeah, a hug wouldn't be the worst thing."

His arms gently pinned mine to my sides in an awkward attempt of a hug, but I smiled at the effort. I tried to bend my arms upward to return it but wasn't completely successful. Nevertheless, it was nice. After a few moments he pulled back and we started walking back towards the common room together, in a pleasant silence, not needing words for our understanding to resound.

"Can you not tell anyone about this?" I asked as we reached the portrait guarding our house dorms. "It's just a bit private, if someone knows I would want it to come from me."

"Of course. And could you keep my parents a secret? I'm not ashamed or anything, but not everyone needs to know," He replied.

"Absolutely." I paused to give the painting our password so we could enter. Before parting ways, I turned back to him. "And thank you, I really needed this."