"When you know why you like someone, it's a crush. When you have no reason or explanation, it's love."
~7 years before, age 15~
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It's nearing midnight and the iridescent moonlight is shining through the slats in my window, creating a bizarre striped pattern on all of our faces. We're sitting in a circle on the floor, Elaine on her stomach with a pillow propping her face up, Archer and I are cross-legged and leaning back and Liam is propped up on his elbows. It's our fourth round of Truth or Dare and we're nearing exhaustion, Elaine only opening her eyes when it's her turn.
"Okay, Lil, truth or dare?" Elaine asks, not even bothering to look up from her half-asleep state.
"Truth."
"You've picked that every single time and we've let it slide, pick something else." I groan.
"It's not against the rules!"
"Lily and her rules." Archer complains grumpily. "Just pick dare, Lily, we all have."
"Why should I have to? I just like answering questions! It's not hurting you."
"It's no fun, though."
"Guys, just let her be." Liam interjects.
"Buzzkill." Archer sulks.
"Fine, I'll just do a dare, get on with it." I pout, my tired limbs not at all excited to get up for whatever dare Elaine has on her mind.
"Yes! Um, hmmm..."
"Hurry up!" My ever-impatient brother whines.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think she'd actually do it!" She thinks for a few more minutes and my eyes are nearly closing before she sits up in excitement, her eyes full of glimmering evil.
"Oh no." Her Cheshire cat smile stretches wider and wider until I'm actually a little scared of what she's about to make me do. Archer looks back and forth between us, rubbing his hands in anticipation.
"This is gonna be a good one."
"Just tell me already." I groan, burying my eyes in my hands and rubbing them up over my temples.
"I dare you to jump in the pool." My eyes widen and Archer's face is pure glee. Liam's easy smile tugs up at the corners and he chuckles.
"Oh, you're in for it now."
"Shitttt, please just give me another one. It's late and I'm tired and the pool is freezing!"
"What's that, Lily? You want to break the rules?" Elaine asks, mocking and pretending to faint at the idea.
"You guys literally forced me into picking dare, otherwise I would probably be asleep by now!"
"Sorry, Lil. Let's go." I glare at Archer but stand up, grabbing a towel from my closet and shaking my head.
"What if Mom, or even worse, Dad, wakes up?" I panic, imagining the absolute ass-kicking we would all receive if we were caught.
"Well, then we'll all get in trouble." Liam reassures me and I groan, realizing there's no way out of this.
"Okay, but y'all are coming with me." I stare at them expectantly and they slowly get up, stretching and yawning. I creak open my bedroom door and put my finger to my lips, telling them to be quiet. We walk to the sliding glass door and I open it slowly, grimacing when it squeaks and waiting to hear any possible sounds coming from my parent's bedroom. When nothing happens, I continue and we all step out into the freezing night.
California has the nicest weather but in the early morning and at night, especially in the winter, it can get really, really cold. It's early October and the wind ruffles through our hair playfully, causing all of us to shiver.
"I do not envy you, Lily." Liam laughs and I glare at him.
We walk up the ramp to the pool area. Archer approaches the edge and I resist the urge to push him in, knowing it's not worth my parents hearing the splash and the screaming that would likely follow. He dips two fingers in the water and immediately retracts them, wiping them off on his pajama bottoms.
"How cold is it?" I ask him immediately.
"Why don't you jump in and find out?" I scowl at him, advancing to the edge to dip my fingers in and see for myself, but Elaine pulls me back.
"Not so fast, you're not allowed to feel. It's part of the dare." She cackles quietly and I give her my best angry face.
"I hate you all." Without warning I drop the towel, run to the edge, sit down and slide in as quietly as possible.
The water kisses my toes first with a searing touch, sending blocks of ice up my veins as the rest of my body is submerged, tickling my stomach and circling my neck until my head finally submerges. My eyes are coated in frost and my hair is suspended upwards ethereally. For a moment I feel warmth again until I stop moving and the liquid ice seeps into and between my clothes, prickling my soft skin and waking me up faster than ten cups of coffee. My feet hit the bottom with a scrape of tile and I shoot back up, torpedoing through the swaths of water. My head breaks the surface with a gasp, my hair smoothing back into my scalp like seaweed. As fast as I can, I take a big stroke back to the edge and hoist the rest of my trembling body back out of the ice pit.
"Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, COLD." I freak out as quietly as possible, snatching the fluffy towel from Elaine's outstretched hands and burying my face in it, the cloth absorbing the freezing temperature from my body.
"I didn't actually think you'd do it!" Elaine admits and I give her a look.
"What, it's not that you're a chicken..." I smack her, my hand too weak to hurt her at all.
"Let's just go inside so I can get out of these clothes." I stare in disgust at my soaked pyjamas, clinging desperately to my quickly drying skin, helped along by the now unbearably cold gusts of wind. Archer is trying desperately to contain his laughter and Liam is just shaking his head. We run back down the ramp, me trying desperately not to slip and embarrass myself. We reach the door and Archer presses his ear to it, listening for any signs of disturbance.
"The door is literally glass, we would see them if they were up." I push past him and wrench the door open, not even caring about the squeak. Goosebumps have risen all over my arms and legs and I desperately need to change into something warm. I leave the door open for the others and race straight into my room, not even caring about the drips of water I spray behind me. I grab my warmest sweatpants and a giant sweatshirt and run into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
Still shivering, I meet my reflection's glance in the mirror quickly. My lips are slowly returning back to their light pink color, tinged with blue and mixing more into a purple as the cold fades away. I shed the towel and my wet pyjamas, hanging them up on the shower railing. I snatch my shower towel off the rack and use it to dry the rest of my damp body off. I wrap my hair up when I'm done and step into my comfy, warm sweats. Once I've pulled the sweatshirt over my bumpy head, wrapped in the bulky towel, I yank it off, shaking out my limp waves. I pick up my hairbrush from where it's resting next to my sink and tug it through, wincing once as it gets caught on a tangle. Next I reach for my claw clip and twist my long hair up, attaching the teeth and pulling out some pieces to frame my face. Once all the towels are hung up, I open the bathroom door and head back into my room.
The others are talking, Elaine appearing dead to the world sprawled on the floor. Archer and Liam appear to be arguing good-naturedly about something or other. I snatch my fluffy blanket off my bed and pull it around my shoulder, trapping the heat against my body and reclaiming my spot on the floor, leaning my back against the bed.
"So, since I completed that absolutely ridiculous dare," I stare at Elaine but she just groans, still not opening her eyes.
"It was worth it." She mumbles.
"Whatever. I'm entitled to one extra truth or dare question." Everyone is too tired to question me so I decide to proceed. I glance around the circle, thinking about who to question. Elaine is far too tired and as much as I want to get her back, I want her to be fully conscious so she can feel the full extent of my wrath through whatever crazy dare I plot out for our next sleepover. Archer is an easy target, but he does pretty much anything without complaint or refusal, which makes it less fun. My eyes finally land on Liam, who hasn't really done much during this game apart from a dare from Elaine to step into my parent's room without waking them up. She may seem tame in her sleepy state, but you can't let her easily tired mind fool you-she's positively evil.
"Liam, truth or dare?"
"Truth." I roll my eyes. I should of known whoever I pick would choose truth after the pool dare.
"Tell us the truth about Leilani." I smirk, knowing something definitely went down between them in seventh grade. Archer looks from me to Liam, obviously understanding what's about to be revealed. Elaine perks up, looking blearily at Liam expectantly.
"Damn it."
"Just tell us already so we can go to sleep!" Elaine demands.
"Fine, fine. Okay, um, well we kind of dated, I guess. If you can call seventh graders dating actual dating." His cheeks color slightly but I'm the only one who can see from my position in front of the window.
"I knew it. You guys are so cute together."
"Were." He corrects.
"Why'd you break up?"
"I don't know, I just like her as a friend." I nod, satisfied and yawn.
"We should probably get some sleep, you guys." The boys nod and stand up, Archer grabbing his pillow and walking down the hall to his room. Elaine is already asleep, lightly snoring on the floor where she looks comfortable under just the carpet. I drape my blanket over her, deciding to let her be, knowing full well she won't return the favor when she's up bright and early at six a.m.
"Hey, can I tell you something?" I turn around and see Liam's still in here.
"Sure, what?"
"That's not really why we broke up." My heart gives a tired flutter but I push it away.
"Really? What happened, then?"
"I guess I kind of got a crush on someone else." My heart ignores my repression and begins fluttering faster and faster.
"Who?" Even though I'm not convinced of these strange feelings I've been feeling around Liam lately yet, I still hope his always-smiling lips will say my name.
"Oh, just, uh, someone in my class." My heart sinks and the fluttering stops, the butterflies disappointed in the answer.
"Well, you should ask her out. Anyway, I've gotta get to bed, I'm tired." I yawn to illustrate my point and he nods.
"Goodnight." He reaches forward and I frown, confused until he touches my arm briefly and then walks back down the hall. My arm tingles and my stomach swoops deep. I watch him walk down the hall and then shake my head to try and knock some sense back into me. I check to make sure Elaine didn't wake up during our conversation, afraid she'll see right through me and somehow guess at the sensations his touch leaves behind. I sigh and dive onto my bed, burying myself in the covers. I turn my head to stare at the moonlight dusting my bed in faded white lines and then close my eyes, the excitement in my chest singing me a love song to sleep.
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Song: Love is Weird by Julia Michaels
*Quick note- the reason for the songs is because they illustrate each chapter and inspire me while I'm writing. It also helps add to the story if you listen while you read :)
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