1 - Broken pride

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Moscow, July 2nd 2014 - 8:24

I'm a bit late as I walk into the empty changing room, earphones in and music blasting full volume. It's honestly the only thing that keeps me going in the mornings. I open my mint green suitcase and take out my water bottle and change into my black under armour shorts keeping my black cropped sweater on for now. I grab my phone and my water heading out the door.

As I walk into the dance studio that we use to stretch and warm up I smile at Yulia and Zhenya who are both already stretching in front of the mirrors. They know not to speak to me in the mornings until I'm actually awake and alert. I walk to the ballet bars on the other side of the room leaving my stuff on the floor after removing my shoes and start warming up. Once I'm done with that I start stretching, twisting all my limbs in all sorts of inhuman ways.

I'm on the floor doing my splits and simultaneously scrolling through my Instagram feed when I'm startled by someone tapping my shoulder

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I'm on the floor doing my splits and simultaneously scrolling through my Instagram feed when I'm startled by someone tapping my shoulder. I look over my shoulder and see Yulia next to me so I remove my earphones.

"Hey Darianka!" she says, smiling lightly "How do you feel about today?"

"I don't know if I'm more excited or terrified" I sigh deeply.

"Are you scared to skate or to hurt yourself again?" she inquires.

"I'm scared to fail. I'm scared that I'll never get back to where I was..." I explain as she rubs comforting circles on my back.

"You'll get your jumps back. I mean not right away but you will! I've seen your floor practices and even without being in top shape you're already super strong."

"Thanks Yulia... Means a lot!" I say lightly "Hey Zhenya get over here!"

"Yeah you can come over here now, she's over her morning grumpy phase" Yulia mocks me as I smack her arm.

The younger girl grins happily as she makes her way towards us. God that girl is adorable.

"So can you keep training here?" she asks as she sits down next to us.

"I guess that all depends on how well I'll be doing..." I answer before adding "I honestly might not even be able to compete this year, and if I don't I can keep training in Russia".

"Why not?" Zhenya asks cautiously.

"Well it depends on how fast I get my jumps back, and if my back doesn't hurt again."

"Yeah, I guess if you don't have time to get new programs you can't compete in regionals and you can't qualify for nationals" Yulia clarifies, as I hum in agreement.

~

"Right boot, left boot. Guards on, gloves. Water, tissues." I mutter as I lace my skates and gather my stuff before heading towards the rink. After stretching we warmed up for about half an hour, careful not to over-exhaust ourselves before our ice time. I set my things down on the table next to the entrance of the rink, placing my gloves in the pocket of my jacket.

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