Until I Met You

22

TW's:
-Tantrum/panic attack
-Mentions (cyber) bullying
-Mentions medication (overdose)

Clay's POV

I was crying harder every single second that was passing and I was breaking apart completely. I kept crying and crying while I hit my hands on the ground. I was broken, everything broke me. I didn't have pills anymore, I was completely burnt out, I had no one caring about me and I hated myself for being gay.

I kept crying and I suddenly heard footsteps walking closer slowly. I looked up and saw it was George.

'Go away,' I muttered.

'I won't go away,' George said, smiling softly. He kneeled down next to me and wanted to hug me, but I pushed him away.

'I lost everything, EVERYTHING.'

'What did you lose? You can talk to me.'

I got really mad again and I pushed him away again as I jumped up, clenching my fists. 'GO AWAY, I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU.'

George smiled instead. 'If you need to hurt me to get your anger out, I'll sacrifice myself for that then.'

'I-I HATE EVERYTHING. I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY.'

'What pity? What for?'

'YOU KNOW WHAT FOR.'

'I don't, Clay. I honestly don't.'

'You do,' I whispered as I bursted into tears.

'Come here,' George said as he pulled me close again. I pushed him away even harder and I stared at my hands in shock. I just hurt the love of my life and I felt really guilty about it. 'I don't know, Clay.'

'I'm so sorry,' I whispered. 'It's the pills.'

'What pills are you talking about?'

I sniffed loudly and I finally let George hug me. 'I took an overdose, I wasn't trying to commit suicide, it just happened. I was trying to take medication again and Sapnap saw and just asked me about it in the changing room, causing everyone to hear it. I had a tantrum and I hit Sap and one other guy because he had grabbed my pills. I don't want Sapnap to have them, I'm mad at him.'

'Shall I ask Sapnap to give them to me? I will keep them safe.'

'Do you want to?'

'I would.'

I smiled shortly.

'I only don't want you to use them.'

I nodded slowly. 'A few?'

'It's very unhealthy, Clay. How many did you take yesterday?'

'Twenty seven.'

'That's way too much.'

'They had to pump my stomach and my mother forced me to go school.'

'Would you like to maybe hang out sometime? I know you weren't really ready for that, but I still wanted to ask.'

'I wasn't ready?'

'Yeah?'

I was confused and shrugged. 'I would like to hang out with you once.'

'Is that okay with you?'

'Why wouldn't it be?'

'You told me that yesterday. It's fine, I would love to hang out with you once.'

I smiled shyly at him and he held me even tighter. 'You know uh- I've tried telling you this earlier, but it's harder in real life,' George started as he held me tightly. 'I'll probably walk off after this because of shame.'

I giggled shyly. 'You can tell me.'

'I know I told you already, but not in real life. But Clay, you uh- I- I really like you a lot.'

My stomach filled up with butterflies and I started blushing really brightly. I wished to tell him how in love I was with him, but I completely froze. My face kept heating up more and more as I started realising George just told me he liked me. Was he really serious? I couldn't stop smiling and then George stood up.

'It's uh- time to go,' he giggled. He stood up and turned around for a second. 'I'll talk to Sap and with that, I love you.'

George's face heated up fully and he started running off, leaving me alone with the biggest smile on my face ever. Did he really just tell me he loved me? I wanted to stand up to run after him and tell him how much I loved him too, but I was too scared to come out to him yet.

Suddenly a few things he said stuck in my head. "I know I told you already". I had no idea what he was even talking about, I have never heard him tell me he loved me and he was in love with me.

I was suddenly a little bit worried, who had he been speaking to? I stood up to run after him and saw him standing against a wall, smiling a little. I walked closer to him and he blushed as he saw me.

'Hi,' he whispered shyly.

'I wanted to ask something.'

'Of course,' George muttered nervously. His face was a little bit red since he just told me he loved me, but he smiled.

'You said you've told me this already, but I don't think you have. Or am I forgetting things? I don't want you to uh- think you've been speaking to me when we haven't.'

George's face heated up fully and he looked at his hands. 'Uh- you know- Discord?'

I looked at him a little confused. 'Do I have your Discord?'

George nervously said his name on Discord and I grabbed my phone to add him as my friend. George seemed to be startled really badly and he started breathing a little faster as I sent him a short text in which I said hello.

'Are you okay?' I asked as I saw his nervous and stressed face.

'Uh- I uh- I'm not uh- I don't like you uh- don't worry. Uh- I- maybe I do,' George stuttered with the reddest face I had ever seen. 'I think it's uh- better for us to not talk anymore maybe.'

I looked at him full of confusion and he wiped his hands off on his trousers. I saw his eyes fill with tears and I started worrying a lot now.

'We would c-come out together?' he whispered with a small voice crack.

'Come out?'

'I'm sorry, I have to go,' George whispered as he ran off as fast as he could.

1016 words