Until I Met You

11

TW's:
-G a y p a n i c

Clay's POV

The next morning I went to school really early to see George as soon as he was at school. I had hidden all medication in my room now and I took four pills this morning, hoping it would work a bit longer today. I didn't talk about it anymore with my sister, I only talked about George the whole time.

I was so hopelessly in love with him that I went to my room in the evening and wrote his name for hours long. When I realised it was two in the morning, I quickly put it away and fell asleep right after.

The first things I thought about in the morning were my pills and George. After I took my pills, I left to go to school so I would be able to see George coming. That was why I was currently waiting on a bench next to the entrance. I wanted to talk with George for a little, I would just say hello to him.

I waited for twenty minutes and then I saw him coming, I stood up to walk to him, but then I saw Darryl, Zak and Karl with him. Darryl looked at me and I acted like I didn't notice George at all, walking back quickly.

Apparently Darryl, Zak and Karl all knew my plan and they walked off, leaving George alone a little confused. He looked at me and smiled as I walked closer again.

'Uh- hi,' I whispered, afraid to mess up anything I said up.

'Hey! How are you?'

'I'm okay,' I said smiling. 'You?'

'Oh, I'm fine. Guess my friends left me alone here,' George giggled.

I smiled. 'I can keep you company if you want?'

'Sure! Sounds good, we can go sit there close to the lockers if you would like to?'

I nodded and we walked to the lockers, sitting down on a bench close to it. I felt how my cheeks were bright red and I was extremely nervous. I noticed I was stuttering a lot, I was a bit short of breath and I was having stomach aches because of the nerves rushing through my body. If this was how love felt, I didn't know if I liked it. I was just nauseous because of the nerves at this point.

'What did you uh- do yesterday? I- uh- sorry, that sounds creepy, I mean just uh- I was well- just uh- interested,' I stuttered, looking down at my hands awkwardly.

'Don't worry, you can ask me whatever. I went to Darryl's place to stay the night. Karl and Zak were there too.'

'Are you uh- a couple with uh- Darryl?' I whispered.

George giggled. 'No, idiot. I'm not a couple with Darryl at all.'

I nodded and realised how stupid it was of me to ask him that. 'I'm sorry, I mean uh- it would be well- cool!'

'It would be cool, but I don't like Darryl in the slightest, Darryl is my best friend. And you? Do you have a girlfriend?'

'Uh- no, no girlfriend, I uh-.' For a second I wanted to tell him that I was gay, but I shut my mouth immediately again.

George smiled and leaned back. I looked at him, having my face heat up even more than it already had. 'Can I uh- ask something?'

'Yeah.'

'Did you uh- come out to uh- your parents already?'

'I haven't, I only accidentally outed myself and now the whole school knows.'

'Do you uh- know how you are going to tell them?'

'Not sure yet, I'll probably just say I'm gay one day.'

'Are they accepting?'

'Yes, and you? You're always with the popular, homophobic guys.'

'I uh- I'm not homophobic at all, I would be the opposite.'

'The opposite? Isn't the complete opposite homosexual?'

My eyes widened and my face heated up more and more. 'N-n-no, I uh- don't think it uh- i-is.'

George frowned a little because I stuttered more and more and then he smiled. 'I see,' he giggled. 'You are really the opposite.'

'What? You mean homosexual?'

'Yeah.'

'I'm not uh- gay at all. I uh- find girls really uh- attractive.'

'Really uh- attractive?' George giggled. 'You don't have to lie to a gay guy. But also Clay, if you're gay, you don't have to come out to anyone yet. You can come out when you're ready to come out and if you're not ready to come out for the next ten years, that's fine too.'

I stared at my hands in silence and George's hand slowly started rubbing over my knee. My stomach went completely crazy and just as I thought I couldn't get an even redder face, it still happened. George was touching me and I had to suppress myself screaming because of happiness.

'Just know that if you ever want to talk about being gay, liking boys or whatever struggles you have- or maybe whatever makes you happy about it. I'm always here for you, we might not know each other well, but we can get to know each other.'

I smiled shyly and nodded. 'I'm not uh- gay though.'

George smiled. 'That's fine. And if you are but closeted, that's fine too.'

George leaned back against the wall and he smiled at me. 'I'm gay, I would never find you weird for also liking the same gender as you are. I actually know someone else who likes the same gender too, I would always accept you.'

I smiled shyly and nodded slowly. 'Thank you.'

George smiled again and he stood up, running his fingers through his hair. My stomach flipped multiple times and I hid the bright blush on my face. 'I have to go to Darryl, see you in class.'

'See you,' I whispered and as soon as he walked off I squeezed my hands, smiling brightly. I talked to George and he was really nice to me. I couldn't stop smiling until I looked up and saw one of my teammates close to me. He was looking at me with a mean grin on his face. I got a little awkward and I looked away, standing up to run away after.

1035 words