Until I Met You

8

TW's:
-Usage too much medication
-Mentions homophobia

Clay's POV

After a while I brought my sister to bed and went downstairs. I hadn't taken medication for a while now so I sneaked upstairs again just as I did everyday. I hoped for my mother not to hear me and I walked to the bathroom, opening the drawer where I had secretly hidden the medication.

I would always be able to get medication, the psychiatrist prescribed them for my mum, but she never took them. The psychiatrist just kept prescribing them because he thought my mum took them. But meanwhile I took a lot of them and acted like I was just picking them up for my mother. I didn't even think my mum knew that her medication was still prescribed.

I stood in the bathroom, shaking a little because I didn't take any pills for a few hours now. I quickly grabbed the bottle and grabbed four pills. I knew I was actually only allowed one or maximum two, but I took at least six a day now. I had a lot of stomach aches and I was always very tired and unfocused.

I filled up a glass with water and I swallowed the first pill. When I swallowed three of them, I suddenly heard slow footsteps in the hallway. I quickly hid the pill in my pocket and I tried throwing the bottle with pills back in the drawer, but it fell on the ground, having pills roll all over the ground.

I heard someone knock on the door and I fell down on my knees to grab all the pills.

'Clay? Are you in here?'

'Uh- give me a minute.'

'Are you on the toilet?'

'No, but uh-.'

'Okay, can I please come in to sit down? I can't stand for this long.'

'Uh- but don't comment on anything,' I whispered. 'Please, don't.'

'Alright?'

I opened the door and let my sister sit down on a chair, while I quickly grabbed all the pills off the ground with a red face.

'Clay? What medication is that?'

'I don't know, I don't use it,' I lied, having my face heat up even more.

'Are you sure? I'm not crazy, Clay. I hear you go to the bathroom often.'

'To use the toilet.'

'Why do you never flush the toilet?'

'Please, just don't tell mum.'

'Are you using medication?'

'Sometimes.'

'How often, Clay?'

'That's not important.'

'Answer me.'

'Why did you come to the bathroom? Do you need to use the toilet?'

'I do, but I don't mind now. Clay, why are you using this medication?'

'I only used it a few times.'

My sister stood up slowly and she grabbed the bottle. 'Is this mum's medication? Why do you use this?'

'I was just stressed, it's fine. I won't use it anymore.'

My sister nodded slowly. 'Are you alright, Clay? I know it's often too much here for you at home, but you can always talk to me. I feel okay now, do you want to talk about something?'

'I would like to uh- talk about me liking boys.'

'Come, shall we go downstairs so mum won't hear it? I have to pee first.'

I left Drista alone for a bit and helped her walk to the hallway.

'Let's go downstairs,' she said.

I nodded and I lifted Drista up, carrying her downstairs. She laid down on the couch and I sat down too, making her legs rest on my lap. She smiled at me. 'Tell me about it.'

'I'm just incredibly in love with that boy in my class. I'm constantly thinking about him.'

Drista smiled. 'You're blushing again.'

'I'm really in love with him. Sometimes I feel a bit weird, because I fell in love with a boy and not a girl.'

'Do you know your sexuality?'

'I think either gay or bisexual, but I do have a really big preference for boys then.'

'Are you attracted to girls?'

'Uh- not really.'

'Well, then it's easy. If you only like boys then you're gay.'

I giggled shyly and I laid down next to Drista. 'I'm sorry if I sound weird, but I've kept this a secret for so long, can I please talk about him with you?'

'Of course.'

'He is just so handsome and he talked to me a few times today. I didn't really know how to act and I got really nervous. I always get nervous around him, he's amazing. Have you ever liked someone so much that your stomach hurts?'

Drista smiled. 'I have one time, but it wasn't anything serious.'

'I often wish to kiss him or just to cuddle with him. Is this weird to tell you? I'm just really happy I can tell someone now, I'm sorry if you don't like the fact that I'm gay.'

'I love the fact that you're gay, I can talk about boys with you,' Drista giggled.

I smiled shyly and I nodded. 'Well, boys are just hot.'

'I agree.'

'I'm so happy that George is gay too, he will at least accept me and I have a little more chance.'

'He will definitely accept you.'

'Do you think mum will accept me liking boys?'

'I don't know, I think she will. She has never been homophobic, she's only just busy with herself.'

'I just wanted to tell someone that I'm gay. I can't tell Sap, because I'm way too scared that someone will hear it. Maybe he will accidentally tell my teammates and they are pretty homophobic.'

'You can tell me.'

'But you're already going through a hard time, I don't want to bother you with my problems.'

'Being gay and being in love with a boy as a boy is not a problem. If you would have been in love with a girl I would have also just talked about it with you. It doesn't make a difference that you like a boy.'

'I don't only like him, I'm really in love.'

'I've noticed.'

'I'm sorry, but he's just so extremely pretty. How can you not be in love with that guy?'

'You tell me.'

'Drista, I'm in love.'

'I know,' Drista grinned. 'You've told me.'

I rolled my eyes and rested my head on the cushions on the couch. I was happy to finally be able to talk about it.

1051 words