The Last Goddess

Chapter Forty-Three: A Serene Feeling

How can I fix what I've done? How could I have done it in the first place!?

"Samara," Kai's voice was near my ear and his arm was around my shoulder. "It's alright. Tell me your problems. I can help you."

I glanced up at him, my eyes watery. His face was distorted by tears, but those chocolate eyes were full of sincerity. I leaned against him, staring down at the fog below. "I'm a killer." I said breathily. "Nolan is gone because of me. I didn't know that this would happen. I... I should have just stayed in Curio. I'm no good to anyone if all I do is harm people."

Maybe my parents were right to abandon me.

My tears started to slow with each word, and a serene feeling went through me. I looked up at Kai. He was giving me this small sad smile. I instantly recalled what his abilities were and pushed away from him.

"You shouldn't try to make me feel better, Kai. I don't deserve it."

"Everyone deserves forgiveness, Samara." He said soothingly. "Otherwise, why would I be here?" he paused, his hands in front of him, rather than on my shoulders. "Samara, I don't know what Soren said to you. Although, I can guess. But I just want you to know, that I don't blame you... for Nolan."

"How could you not!?" I asked, bewildered. "I did it."

"Did you? I wonder about that." He said, looking up at the stars surrounding us. "I've heard from Nolan's Jauni and halflings that were there. They said, when you spoke, it was not the same person. They heard a few different voices, but not yours." He looked at me, his smile so tranquil. "Sure, it was your body, but you were not in control." Kai leaned over to me, his eyes capturing mine before he lifted himself up just enough to give me a gentle kiss on my forehead. My shoulders untensed and my eyes widened. "You are not the curse, Samara. Remember that."

I nodded silently, looking away from Kai as my face heated up. "I guess, that's true." I admitted. "But it's hard not to think that."

After a moment, Kai asked, "What did Soren say?" He watched me like I was an injured bird. Like I would break. "I can't dreamwalk in the same way Azlin could. I can only go so far in that part of the Dreamscape. Otherwise, I would have followed you there."

I wiggled my legs through the air as I contemplated telling him. Well, after everything else I revealed, one more thing wouldn't hurt, I suppose.

"He told me what happened to Nolan. And... he said he would do the same to me."

Kai grabbed my hand, his grasp instantly calming my dark thoughts. "I won't let him." He said sternly. It was, perhaps, the most serious I've ever seen Kai yet. "He's not thinking rationally. Don't worry too much about his empty threat."

"I'm not so sure it's as empty as you think." I replied, recalling his fury against my throat.

"Samara," he squeezed my hand, forcing me to stare up at him. "I'm going to help you as much as I can. I swear it."

"Thank you." I slid my hand out of his, feeling a little nervous around him now. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I stood up to put some distance between us.

He seemed to find me amusing, according to the curious look on his face. Kai swiftly followed suit and walked beside me, but he didn't touch me. We paced along the bridge until he finally asked, "How are you and Aryan holding up? Are you two safe?"

I was surprised to hear him ask about Aryan, and then smiled, as I thought of him. "Yes. We're safe for now. However, we lost all our supplies and Aryan is hurt."

"Hurt how?" Kai asked slowly.

"It was when he tried to stop Nolan from harming me. Nolan attacked him. And now, his chest seems to hurt with the slightest movement."

"Hmm," Kai thought aloud. "He could have a broken or fractured rib. Or maybe, is he bleeding?"

I shook my head, now more worried for my companion than I already was. "No, not that I've seen. Although, if he is, he's not one to say so."

Kai laughed heartily. "That's just like Aryan. He's always been obstinate. But if he doesn't get it fixed, it's only going to get worse." Kai stopped in front of me, eyeing me from head to toe. "Are you hurt? In the Dreamscape, our bodies aren't really here. We're just a projection of sorts."

"I'm not hurt." I reassured him. "A bit fatigued, but nothing more."

"Where are you guys? I can help to heal you two."

I hesitated at telling Kai our location. Partially, because I wasn't entirely sure where we were. Only where we were near. And also, I could just hear Aryan's protests ringing in my ears.

"You can trust me." He took my hands in his. His thumbs rubbing soothing circles against my hands. "I told you, I only want to help you. Besides, we both know Aryan is stubborn. He won't ever stop, knowing how badly you two are wanted now. Please, let me help you."

His gaze was so genuine. He couldn't possibly be speaking anything less than the truth, right? He also had a point. Aryan would die before letting me help him. Not that I had any way to help him right now.

"Ok." I nodded. I let out a sigh as I mentally prepared myself for Aryan's upcoming scolding. "We're nearing First Mountain. We should be by the base of the mountain sometime tomorrow afternoon."

"First Mountain?" his eyebrows raised in shock, but then he smirked slyly. "You two are quite clever. You're going to visit Seraphina, aren't you?"

"How did you—"

"It's not hard to figure out now that I know where you are. There's not much else near First Mountain. It'll be cold if you're going through there." He nodded, contemplating. "Alright, I think I have a few things in mind to help you on your way. Leave it to me, beautiful." He raised one of my hands to his lips. "Get some rest. We'll meet soon."

I blushed, those butterflies returning. "Right," I responded, slowly. "I'll see you soon."