Iᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ A Wᴏʀʟᴅ Lɪᴋᴇ Tʜᴀᴛ! [𝙁. 𝙒𝙤𝙡𝙛𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙] 𝗜𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦.

little life update lol

DUDE YOU'RE STILL HERE?!?!?

Hi :)

(Here's a little warning because this is a long one, I was a bit scared and shy and EMBARRASSED to put my real story here, like what I've been through in Elementary School, what's happening to me rn, but now I know it's time to actually tell you guys my past and now, my present. I hope you guys understand. Ily.)

Sooo I don't really know how I can explain this to you guys but I'll try.

So if you guys didn't know I just turned 16 last month, three days after Richie's birthday.

And after my birthday, this might sound a little weird but I've been feeling some changes in me that I haven't noticed before and it caused me to question many things.

Like a lot.

And because of that, the stress and overwhelming feeling I've been having in school and that sudden "change" has been bothering me since then.

Home isn't a thing I'd like to talk about either, there's literally little to no light here anymore.

But anyways in those changes, the change that's really standing out for me right now is my sexuality.

It made me question it because-

I've been liking this one girl for a while, I don't know if I like her like her, or I just think she's pretty/handsome too.

Lol yes she's someone who can look like a freaking boy and a girl AND IT'S BADASS!!!

And so because of that, I've been feeling so many things that I haven't felt for a long time after my hopeless encounter with someone that I don't wanna talk about HAHAHA

Like earlier, she posted something and I saw it and it had me jumping around for ATLEAST 2+ hours.

You know what? I shouldn't be talking about that, most of you are just probably wondering why I haven't updated, even in the last post I said I'll post an imagine for Richie's birthday later.

The thing is, it's been dark on my path.

It's been hard for me (and of course all of us obviously.) but the more I go through my days, the more I realize not everyone is going to care about you as much as you care about them.

Sometimes we just want someone, at least ONE person to actually be there to stay as long as you need them to, to just talk. Because sometimes, a simple write on a journal won't always help you. Speaking from experience, sometimes I just end up more shitty because there's new questions on youe mind while you're writing. Sometimes, we just want someone to actually listen. Just listen to you. (oml im tearing up.)

Ever since I started to become more adventurous about myself (like being open about this girl I'm crushing on, just wanting to talk to people and have a laugh, trying to go out off my little shell and try participating in groups, trying to join a friend group) I just noticed how-

I mean, not everyone will care.

I tried, I tried to talk about my feelings. I also tried trying to start a conversation, like asking how they are you know, every sentence just to start a conversation.