My Client the Rockstar (Book 2 Steel Wolf Collection)

Chapter 12

"Spoil sport," he mutters pouting once again.

"Anyways," I say returning to our previous conversation. I stumble over my next few words while the shock of his statement was wearing off. "While we were dating I thought it all was great, but I was only being used. There was a bet involved about who would get in to the pants of the up tight manager. Adam won all because my naïve self fell for his lies. But it get worse then just a nasty break up."

I take a unsteady breath while all the feelings from that time break through the door I thought I had sealed shut on that dreadful day and days that followed. Ryder's face turns red in anger and I fear how he will react when I share the next part. "He also threatened me," I stumble over my words due to embracement for my actions. "I had opened up to him about my anxiety issues and the little lies my parents told Mr. Gear to get me the job. He told me that he would go to Mr. Gear with it all unless I slept with him one more time."

Ryder turns so he is sitting and facing me with a clenched jaw. "Please tell me you didn't give in to him." A tear escapes from my eyes and all I can do I stare at him, but he understands my wordless answer. "Fuck," he yells before standing and stalking away. 

I watch him till he disappear around the bend and only then do my tears completely fall. He is disgusted by my actions. I never should have told him about that. Instead I should have kept that information to myself. Now how am I going to be able to face him? Lucan never knew that part of my soiled past so I had no reason to feel embarrassed being around him. 

My head falls forward from my self loathing. Maybe Ryder had the right idea in the past to escape from what was chasing him. No Aubree you are stronger than that. Do not let Adam win. You've already let him control much of your life up to this point. Don't give him any more power than you already have.

Sure now that Ryder knows the truth of your past he wants nothing to do with you, but him walking away is his lost. He never gave me the chance to explain the reasonings behind my actions. Granted looking back now I should have never let Adam manipulate me the way he did. Sadly I can't change the decisions I made in the past.

I take my phone out and debate if I should call an Uber first or Mr. Gear. No way will I be able to remain working with Steel Wolf with this now between Ryder and me. This is exactly why I never wanted to get involved with him. Not only am I losing him, but I'm also losing the band. Who is more like a family to me than my own. I'm not sure what hurts more losing Ryder or the guys. Hopefully I also don't lose Skylar as well. She's really the first girlfriend I've ever had.

Who would have thought once again my entire life would be falling a part. I thought lightening never struck the same location twice. Guess that saying is more than wrong. Once again I'm going to have to pick up the pieces of my life and start all over.

I glance out over the water understanding that I'm going to have to leave the tranquility I've found and face the real world. Even though I would much rather ran and hide from it. I'm an adult not a child and adults don't run from their problems. I close my eyes for a moment to enjoy the final moment of being with Ryder. Right when I was about to stand and figure out my next steps someone slips behind me. The place their legs on either side of and wrap me tightly in their arms pulling me tight against their chest. 

I don't need to glace behind me to know who's arms I'm in because I would recognize his presences anywhere. Ryder. His bloodies knuckles catch my attention.

"The rental car is insured right," Ryder asks me gruffly. Why would he be asking me about the rental car? Then I remember his bloodied knuckles. He wouldn't. Would he? Then I remember how he almost beat up that guy at the bar. He would. 

"Yes," I say softly.

"Good," is all he says. I fight the urge to jump out of his arms and see what kind of damage he did, but I wanted to enjoy being in his arms again. I can always play the role as his manager later and he will be getting an ear full as soon as I put that hat on.

"Ryder," I say gently needing to know where his head was at. "Will you please talk to me? I understand if your disgusted by me because I basically whored myself for my job."

Ryder lets out a sigh and loosens his hold around me. "My anger is no way directed at you. I'm sorry if my actions made you think it was."

"I didn't know what to think because the minute I told you you ran away without a second glance." There as no hiding the pain in my voice from him plus I wanted him to know how I was feeling.

He lets out a sigh and his voice slightly soften. "I needed to get away for a second to collect my thoughts."

"And destroy a perfectly good car," I mutter. The second the words were out of my mouth I wish I was able to draw them back.

"You know I don't always handle my anger very well and since I can't punch your fucker of an ex the car stood in." He nuzzles against my neck causing goosebumps to form and my sex to clench.

Good to know he isn't mad at me over what I did, but I still feel disgusted with myself. I wish I could read his mind and know exactly what he was thinking. That way there would be no miss communication between the two of us.

"Stop thinking what you are thinking," Ryder says interrupting my thoughts.

"How do you know what I'm thinking?" I ask him resting my head against him. 

"Don't you know I can read minds?" He tells me playfully causing my heart to soar with hope.

"How could I forget," I say rolling my eyes.

His eyes crinkle when he smiles, but his expression changes to one of sternness in second. "In all seriousness. Do not beat yourself up over this. What he did was beyond wrong and disgusting. You did nothing wrong." He takes my chin between his fingers and forces me to look him in the eyes. "Aubree you did what you thought you needed to do. He backed you into a corner and forced you to make the decision you did in order to get out."

If I didn't already love him I would have fallen in love with him in that moment. The words pressed against my lips, but I reigned them in like I always do. Ryder never had an issue telling me he loved me after the first time, but I have yet to utter the words where he could hear them. I was a wimp I know, but I was scared. 

The few moments earlier I thought I had lost him devastated me. I can only imagine how I would feel once I admitted to loving him and he left me. But then Dimitri and Skyler pops into my head. Those two had a bumpy path to get to where they are now. More than once Dimitri walked away from Skyler, but she never stopped loving him. She also had the strength to continue to tell him she loved him even when he was breaking her heart.

Could Ryder and I have what they have? Am I just being stupid for fighting this? Ryder has continued to show me time and time again how he has my best interest at heart. He has never done anything to intentionally hurt me. Instead he gives me all the time in the world to figure out what I want. He may press me to be more, but only because he wants more. I haven't seen him with anyone else in awhile. 

All these different thoughts of Ryder spin around in my head. I kept trying to hold on to the reasons why I shouldn't get involved with him, but they continuously were over run by the reasons why I should.

"Ryder I," start to say till I'm interrupted by my phone buzzing in my pocket pulling my focus from what I was about to tell Ryder. I immediately answer when I see the caller is Mr. Gear.

"Aubree what's this I hear about Dimitri and Skylar getting engaged. Why was I not told sooner? " he tells me in way of greeting in a I'm not happy with you tone. All thoughts of what I was going to tell Ryder flies out the window and I'm become Aubree the manager.