𝒆𝒗𝒂 ➙ 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒘𝒏 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒔

twelve

adelaine miller
TORONTO, CANADA

"baby, listen—" i begin, turning to face eva who was watching a movie on her ipad, i pause the movie and take her headphones off, making her face me. "when we get to california, shawn will be busy so you can't be bothering him a lot, ok princess?" eva nods, i don't think she understood most of what i said, but at least i told her.

"are you excited to see california?" i ask her, and she nods once more. smiling at me.

"movie, mommy?" she questions, and i chuckle turning the movie back on for her, she cheers quietly, putting her headphones back on, being weary to not wake any of the other passengers.

not long after, about an hour, the pilot announced that we had arrived in sunny california which made everyone cheer and clap once the place landed on the tarmac.

my phone gained it's signal again and i immediately go to check my messages where shawn says exactly where to meet him.

now all i had to do was wait for everyone else to leave so that me and eva could leave the aircraft in peace without having to be pushed by anyone.

∎ ∎ ∎

"hey." shawn says breathlessly, his charming smile making me smile back at him, even though he was wearing somewhat of a disguise i could still tell it was him, he crouches down to eva's height and picks her up, making her giggle.

"hi shawn." she says, handing me her ipad which i tuck away into her backpack.

we say our hellos whilst quickly getting into the back of the suv, i even notice that shawn got eva a booster seat which made my heart swoon with happiness, how thoughtful of him.

"so are you excited to be in california?" he asks as he buckles his seatbelt, the door closing behind him.

i nod my head, "uh— yeah! i haven't been here in a while, last time was before i launched miller skincare because i was going to set up headquarters here." i tell him and nods his head.

"what made you choose toronto?"

"family." i tell him with a soft smile, "i couldn't leave them behind and especially not when i had just found out that i was pregnant."

"how old were you then? when you found out?" he asks.

"twenty-two, i think, yeah i had just turned twenty-two. i found out one month in."

"yeah the night we uhm—" he looks to eva, "you know. i think it was just after i turned twenty-two as well."

"i remember you telling me." i say with a chuckle.

he raises an eyebrow, "how do you remember? weren't we both drunk?" he asks and i shake my head.

"no i was tipsy and i think you were sobering up too, you probably forgot because of the hangover you had the next day, i remember you drinking a lot."

i don't think he even remembered the day after, it was such an awkward morning. we had breakfast together, shortly after i left and never saw him again until he was on the news for his fourth album, which had just been released.

just two weeks before his break-up with camila and a week before we hooked up.

it was about an hour and half's drive but we had finally arrived to this suburb that shawn was talking about and he was right, this area was extremely secluded, his place was the only one you could see for a while, not to mention that there was this really long driveway up to the foot of the door, the drive there alone took at least five minutes.

"oh wow." i mutter once i get out the car to look at the house, making shawn chuckle. "this place is beautiful."

from the front it looked like a tiny cottage but then shawn went to explain that this was a one story house but it was very long, there was a total of five bedrooms and four bathrooms, but there was even a guest house with two extra bedrooms, however they were using that particular spot as their recording studio.

eva practically runs into the house, her curiosity getting ahead of her which makes everyone laugh watching her rush into the house, "eva!" i tell her loudly, following behind her. "baby, you're meant to ask people before you come into their houses." i attempt to say to her as i pick her up.

"it's fine, don't worry." shawn says and i huff.

"it's not, she needs to learn manners." i tell him, and he shrugs me off.

is he trying to educate my daughter?

∎ ∎ ∎

a while had passed by since we arrived at the place, shawn only really spent half an hour with us before he got called to do his work again, as soon as he left i took eva and we went into our bedroom where i began to unpack the items from both our carry-ons.

i wasn't sure how i felt about shawn trying to educate my daughter, i was trying to process them all before i talk to him because clearly he wants to be more involved and he wants to co-parent so we're going to need to discuss topics.

deep down, i know eva is also his daughter but it feels so odd to call her our daughter when me and shawn aren't together, and haven't been ever, to me, eva was my daughter. nobody else's. i was the one who raised her.

eva was worn out from the trip so i put her right to bed for a nap as soon as i had finished unpacking our bags, then i closed the door to the bedroom so that she could sleep in peace and i made my way over to the garden, which was huge.

it sort of looked like a miniature forest, there was also this huge pond in the middle of all these trees, this place honestly just looked magical.

as i walked further into the garden i could hear music, which i'm assuming was shawn recording for his fifth album possibly or a single, who knows? i follow the sound and i encounter this smaller house near the back of the garden, this was more like a cottage.

the curtains were all shut, at least the front facing ones near the door and i refused to go in so i just listened to him from the outside, from what i could hear — he sounded good.

my own listening session was interrupted because i thought i could hear some cries, it was instinctual so i quickly made my way back over to the main house, going into the bedroom to see eva crying, "what's wrong baby? mommy's here." i whisper, picking her up as she sobs into my chest.

"don't leave mommy." she whimpers in between cries.

"what's going on?" i hear a voice ask, making both me and eva look up, it was shawn.

"daddy, mommy left me." eva tells him, clenching and unclenching her hands together meaning she wanted shawn to take her from me.

daddy.