between day and night

goodbyes and new problems

I finished to clean the dojo, and then I sit outside with a sad sigh. it's already a month...i can't believe that Tadashi won't come here to play anymore. After what happened we returned to the headquarters, but Tadashi's parents were really furious...they blamed the Shinsengumi for what happened, and they argued really much with Kondo-san. Of course no one know that the fault is mine...Tadashi was only a bait for lure me into a trap. Fortunately, in the end I seriously wounded Mikio, so he went away with Kaoru and left us alone.

I tried to speak with Tadashi's parents, explaining that it was all my fault. Mikio wanted to kill me...so I lied and said that probably he wanted revenge, because he failed to kill me at Shimabara that night. The Shinsengumi has no fault.

But Tadashi's parents continued to blame the Shinsengumi, and they went home still believing that. After that day, Tadashi's mom forbidden him to speak or play with us ever again. Tadashi didn't listened, and came at the headquarters the day after...but his mother found out and they moved to China a week later.

It's all my fault...so it's true what many people say? yokai and humans can't live together. Well, I must also take into account that grandpa and Chizuru married a human, they had kids with them and they still look happy.

I wonder what I'm supposed to do, I'm not a full demon...and this give me the opportunity to choose how to live, but is it really true? I don't want to think about it, but one day I'll have to separate myself from the Shinsengumi and...tell them the true about myself. it's weird, I never doubted what I wanted before...ever since dad died, I only wanted to be strong, and fight for the Nura clan...for Rikuo, but now...there is no longer only my family in my heart.

I look up at the sky feeling really sad and confuse, but then someone walks toward me <<there you are>> I turn around surprised <<Okita, do you need something?>> he smirks like always <<why don't we play a game?>> I frown <<sorry but...i don't feel like it right now>> he sighs annoyed and cross his arms <<you're not funny, but you owe me a favor, remember? Yesterday we didn't do any prank to Hijikata, because you promised that today you will play with me>> i sigh, knowing that he wouldn't leave me alone until I agree to play with him <<all right, what kind of game do you want to play?>> he smiles <<tora tora tora>> I raise an eyebrow <<do you mean the game similar to rock, paper, scissors? If I remember right...the samurai beat the tiger, but the tiger beat the old lady, and the old lady beat the samurai because she's his mother, right?>> he nods <<it's a new game that became popular lately, but who knows why I'm not surprised that you already know it>> I shrug <<it's a pretty game, I used to play it with my family>> he nods <<at least I don't need to explain the rules, but why don't we make the game more interesting?>> I look at him curious <<how?>> he grins <<let's bet. If I win you'll have to do something I will order you>> I grimace <<how about if I win?>> he smirks challenging me <<the same, you can make the order and I will do it. Come on now, we can use that sliding door in place of a fusuma>> and he begins to walk toward the sliding door, pulling me with him. We open the door, and we hide ourselves behind both sides, so that we can't see each other. We begin to sing together <<tora tora tora...tora!>> we jump forward, letting the other see us. I sit down on my hands and my knees miming a tiger, but Okita is on his feet, and he was pretending to have a sword in his hand. I sigh annoyed and he chuckles <<the samurai beats the tiger, you lose>> I jump on my feet annoyed <<one more time!>> he grins and hides himself again. I do the same thing, and we begin to sing <<tora tora tora...tora!>> I jump forward, pretending to have a stick in my hand...but Okita is on his hands and knees. he chuckles <<nya, you lose again...the tiger eats the old lady>> I sigh annoyed, giving up <<damn...okay, you win, what do you want?>> he gets up and begin to walk <<i'll tell you what you have to do only when we will arrive>> I follow him with curiosity <<where?>> but he doesn't answer, and he enter in the kitchen <<Chizuru-chan, have you finished?>> I follow him inside, seeing Chizuru in front of the stove. She smiles at us, and she gives a big green bag to Okita <<yes, here you go...have fun>> Okita nods, and without saying anything else he grabs my collar and drag me outside, toward the headquarters' exit.