Truly Yours • Kim Mingyu

[thirty-two]

My thoughts are interrupted by a violent thumping on my door. I turn on the lamp and peek at my alarm clock. It's around 3 am.

Oh no . . . it's definitely a robber.

Such a polite one though. Don't robbers usually just break in?

I feel sort of bad for the robber who came in with so much expectations to rob me. My room is as empty as a bird's nest in December. There's literally nothing except my bed, a night stand which only has a glass of water and a small alarm clock on it and some clothes. What'll the poor guy steal?

The throbbing grows louder with every second. I reach for the baseball bat I used to keep under my bed. Luckily it's still there. I grab it and tip-toe towards the door. I keep my guard up by holding the bat with one hand and twist the doornob with my another hand.

"WE'RE ALREADY BROKE, HOW DARE YOU STEAL AT OUR HOUSE YOU SON OF A BITCH-"

My jaw drops and eyes widen in shock. The bat falls from my hand. My feets start shaking like a leaf. This can't be happening.

It's Mingyu.

He is barely standing. His forehead is bleeding, there's bruises here and there. His shoulders rise and fall with every breath he is attempting to find. His dark orbs are glimmering with tears in the faint light.

He falls into my arms, "Mi . . . Miyeon . . . " He reeks of alcohol.

"God, what happened to you?" I say, voice breaking half way. He regains his posture for a second and pushes the door with his leg until it closes.

Afterwards, he collapses on the floor, "I . . . I had an accident." Murmurs he.

"W-why are you here? Y-you should be in the h-hospital, y-your head." I trail off, hardly registering anything.

I fall on my knees before him. The impact of witnessing him in his current state knocks out every wisp of air from my lungs. Tremor wracks my entire body and my heart pounds like the thundering hooves of thousand stallions. My eyes burn as I try to keep my tears at bay.

"Answer me . . . how did this happen?" I whisper. My hands gingerly travel to his cheeks. He takes them in his and clutches them. He kisses the top of it, hard and fast.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." He says, shaking his head. He leans in closer and cups my face. "I thought I'll never get to see you again. I have so much to tell you." He mutters.

"We can talk later. Now isn't the time you need to get treated-"

"No . . . no please. I'm alright. It doesn't hurt at all, I'm fine. I just need you, I need to talk to you. Please. Stay with me, please. Listen. Don't leave me." He says breathlessly.

Tears I've been trying to hold in cascades down my cheeks. My head hurts seeing him like this. My stomach hurts. My throat hurts. My chest hurts. Everything hurts. I can feel that he is in severe pain and that he's pretending to be fine and not letting me do anything about it is hurting even more. I never wanted this conversation to happen like this.

I bite my lower lip in order to halt it from trembling and force my head to nod, "I'm here. I'm listening." I say. Giving in is the only option I'm left with now.

His hands drop to my forearm from my face. He strokes it gently all the way to my fingers, then intertwines and kisses them again.

"I hated you so much for leaving us. I hated you for making that decision to sacrifice yourself, just so I could live. I hated the life you gave me, the life filled with only sadness . . . where you weren't there with me anymore. The traumatic memory of that night haunted me every single day. I often used to get frequent panic attacks and this hallucinations where you'd appear and ask me, 'Why didn't you protect me? How could you let me die?' I told you it wasn't my fault and reached out my hand, and you suddenly disappeared. I knew it was all in my head but it made me so fucking guilty of myself Miyeon.