Kiss Me Slowly

Chapter 43: The Acceptance

Chapter 43: The Acceptance

Nothing could've prepared me for the scene that played in front of me over the course of the next few hours. I'd thought I'd seen it all, between my mother, Alfonso, Carter—even Jonah! I guess I was wrong.

No one talked while the faceless driver sped off. The nameless man and woman from the previous car squished me into the seat as I sat in front of my worst nightmare. The people from my worst nightmare. It never occurred to me the people in front of me would team up. I never thought they'd be in the same room—let alone on the same side. All their eyes scanned me every few minutes, looking pleased with themselves.

To say I wasn't worried would be a lie. To say I wasn't absolutely terrified to the bone was like saying Carter had an ounce of goodness in him.

Despite how scared I was, I was more sad. Would I ever see my friends again? Would I ever get the chance to admit to Kenny how I feel? Or Denny? Would I get to tell Jeremy that he wasn't just a friend, or a guardian? He was my parent; my father. My family.

Jackie always told me not to take what I have for granted. For the most part, I hadn't. But I'd taken her, and Jeremy, and both Kenny and Denny all for granted. I never thought they'd leave, or I. I never thought things would go so wrong. I never thought my life would take a turn for the worse.

And it was only going to get worse.

I'd never really thought about death. It just never occurred to me to think about the way I'd die. Maybe this was it. Unable to fight. No questions answered. No thoughts spoken.

The reality of it hit me. I'd never get to see Denny or Kenny or Jackie or Jeremy again. Bruce, Racheal, Collin...All those words I've never said. All the things I've never done.

I didn't shed tears. I didn't fight. I knew it was hopeless. I stared at the floor and recalled the good in my life. Sammy's smile. Denny's hands. Kenny's warmth. Jeremy's hugs. Jackie's laugh.

All of them. Everything about them. Their flaws, their faults, their mistakes. Their qualities, their talents, their strengths. The good and the bad.

I loved them so much, it hurt. I missed them so bad, my heart broke. My stomach twisted tighter every second we moved further away. My head hurt worse every time I breathed. My blood turned cold every time I felt someone's eyes on me.

The car sped down the pavement hastily. The five (six, counting me) breaths, in and out, mixed with the cold rush of the air conditioning. The sound of the engine dulled from a loud roar to a muffled whine. My state of mind went from clear to foggy; hurt, scared, worried to...numb. I heard nothing. I saw nothing.

I felt nothing.

I closed my eyes and accepted the finality.

I was never going to see my family again. 

*~*

Please don't hate me. 🙂

This chapter hit me hard in the feels while writing it. I probably cried a few times.